I've known Amy for really many years.
The original Amy was a happy little princess.
In elementary school, Amy always wore a snow-white princess dress every day, with a straight swan neck, and a group of people hugged back and forth.
Amy is a good learner, a beautiful person, her mother is a professor, and her father is a rich businessman. She had everything that her peers envied.
However, in middle school, Amy's mother fell ill and her father went bankrupt.
It was then that she became quieter and quieter, and although she was still wearing a snow-white princess dress and a straight swan neck, her eyes were becoming more and more evasive.
There were no people around her who hugged her before and after.
By college, Amy's father was forced to die by someone who had forced her to pay the debt, and her mother died of illness soon after.
Amy still liked to wear a snow-white princess dress, still with a straight swan neck, but the light in her eyes, a little bit, was completely extinguished.
At the time, there were a few friends who wanted to help her, but they were always overwhelmed and powerless, including me.
I just remember that at the end of the graduation message book I wrote a few sentences, roughly:
"All loss must have a deep meaning."
"I've always believed in fairness, that fate takes something from us and will reward something elsewhere."
"If one day, there is a princess passing through my world, it will only be you."
Since then, they have gone their separate ways.
It's just that any time I mention, see, think of everything about the princess, I always see the picture of Amy wearing a snow-white princess dress and a straight swan neck...
She was 12 years old that year, and she made a graceful circle in front of me, her eyes shining with confidence.
After many more years, amy's news often came out among classmates. Say she's doing a good job, say she's started a business, say she's married, say she's divorced again... Say she's getting unhappier.
We also seem to maintain a tacit understanding, although we all have each other's contact information, but we have not made a good phone call, or gathered once, occasionally greeting a few words, avoiding touching too much in-depth content.
We are probably like those old confidants.
In short, I still care about her, and she also thinks of me, at least every important holiday has not fallen, and I will say hello to each other.
Until one year, Mid-Autumn Festival, National Day, Christmas, and then New Year, I didn't receive a reply from Amy, and I intuitively felt that something must have happened.
At this time, he could no longer contact her.
Sure enough, there was a lot of news among her classmates, saying that she had failed to start a business, owed a lot of money, and had run away.
I don't believe the news anyway, because she's so much like her dad, so she should rather die than run away because she owes someone money.
Finally, one day I got a phone call, and although it was a strange number, my instinct was Amy.
"Are you okay?" Amy's voice was languid and tired, and a little vague, as if she had just been drunk.
"Amy... Happy birthday. But more importantly, what's wrong? Where are you? "I tried to calm myself down, and I didn't want to make Amy feel embarrassed because of my anxiety, which was the greatest shame for a proud little princess.
"Oh, thank you for your birthday wishes. Yeah, scary, we're 40. You must not guess where I am, though... These two months were like a dream, just maybe the darkest moment of my life. Amy groaned for a moment, "But I'm standing on the roof of the tallest office building in the city, the sun is shining and the wind is warm." ”
My heart sank, but I was more calm, and I knew that at this time, I needed a little more lightness: "What? It must be nice to play gliding there, right? That must wait for me, wait for me together. ”
There was silence on the other end of the phone for a while, and then there was Amy's languid laughter: "You know, I just like to talk to you." Because everyone else is going to say, 'Amy, don't be stupid, are you going to jump off the building?' In their eyes I was a comical wretch. ”
"No, you're a little princess. Always. I said from the bottom of my heart.
"No! I'm not, I wasn't that happy little princess for a long time. Amy's mood was a little out of control, so she said a lot in a row.
"You know, I just had a moment when I really wanted to drop the bottle and jump!" Since then, the humiliation of fate, the torture of life, and the pain of feelings have all been refunded! Chargebacks! Yes, chargebacks, I have been doing e-commerce for several years, I have earned and lost, and now I owe 1.6 million. I'm 40 years old, and my waist is two centimeters thicker than I used to be. ”
"Only you know what I've been through growing up, I always thought I was a little princess, everyone envied me, held me in the palm of their hands... But all these people I felt loved by me, one by one, left, all left, none of them were my guardians, just passers-by, including my parents. I later enjoyed watching Marvel movies, and I wished there was an Iron Man in reality who would protect me. ”
"I just, really want to try, if I jump, will there be a superhero to save me?"
"Don't worry, though. I could figure out immediately that I was no longer a little princess, I was just a middle-aged woman in distress, and no hero could look at me again. ”
"I sometimes think you're going to be a hero. I have always remembered the words you wrote to me and inspired me for a long time. Yes, I lost a lot, but gained a strong and tenacious heart, and that's fair. So, I wiped my tears and told myself that I was wearing a T-shirt right now and couldn't jump so sloppily. I'm going to lose two centimeters from my waist and put on my favorite princess dress..."
"If I could, I would really like to be the elegant and proud little princess in your heart forever, and never make this call and say that I am now."
Amy said a lot, a little confused, but I could understand.
"I'm sorry." When Amy was calm, I could only reply with this sentence, "I can't help you now." I've let you down. ”
"Sorry for what? Disappointed by what? Everyone is the same, each needs their own salvation. I'm sorry I shouldn't bother you, maybe I shouldn't have pulled you back to reality. ”
Amy's voice was a little relieved: "However, I think I am a mortal anyway." Talk to you, take it easy. Thank you. I know, you too, the marriage failed, the career did not improve, we are all just holding on. In the end, we all have to hold on. ”
I smiled bitterly, glanced out the window at the sunset, and imagined a figure on the roof of a building under the same sunset.
That figure used to be a girl who wore a snow-white princess dress every day and straightened her swan neck, but now she was wearing a wide t-shirt and jeans, with a ball head, holding a wine bottle in her hand, and a middle-aged uncle felt sorry for her.
Isn't that great?
She put it down.
I finally had the courage to tell.
I brewed up emotions for a while, and some words were said to Amy, but also to myself: "Congratulations, although you are no longer a princess, you have become a hero." Mom and Dad aren't your heroes, I'm not your heroes, and Neither is Iron Man, but you're your own hero. ”
Amy was silent, obviously surprised by what I said.
I said, "Isn't it?" Congratulations, just now, you saved your life! It is you who saved a 40-year-old, desperate, indebted middle-aged human woman, and you are the hero you have to thank the most! ”
After another moment of silence, Amy's laughter came from the phone: "Giggles, thank you for that!" Yes, I am my own hero! Everyone is their own hero! Oh, yes...... My mother always liked me to wear a princess dress, as elegant as a princess; my father taught me to always straighten my body and always have the pride of being a person. Therefore, I should be an elegant and proud hero, and I will be a swan superman in the future. ”
"Ah... OK. You can also register a trademark. "That's all I can do.
"Hmm. Be your own hero first, after saving yourself, then be the hero of others, there are dozens of people waiting for me to pay my salary, and a few creditors are waiting for me to save my life. I'm going to work now. There was a clanging sound, and Amy probably stood up shakily.
"You want to be happy." Amy finally asked me, "Let's have a meal together this weekend." ”
"Well, meet and talk. You also want to be happy. "I hung up the phone.
Amy and I want to meet, based on the fact that we have looked squarely into the present.
Instead of being someone else's princess, be your own hero.
Two 40-year-olds, after many years, should have a lot of constructive discussions about the topic of "how to be your own hero and make your life sustainable and happy".
I'm looking forward to it.