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Reader's Letter:
Muzi Lee:
My parents are farmers, and my mother has been sick for many years, although I have finished college by work-study, it is still quite difficult to find a marriage partner of similar age in the work city, because after I start to make money, I have to take half of my monthly salary to honor my parents, as for saving money to buy a house, I dare not think.
Because in our hometown, everyone got married earlier, so when I was twenty-five or six years old, every time I went back to my hometown, I would hear a lot of cool words: 1) my family was poor, and my parents were incompetent; 2) I mixed poorly outside.
When I was 27 years old, I met a woman who was 14 years older than me, and to tell the truth, at first, I was a little mindful of the age difference, but, in the process of contact, I found that: 1) she was very good to me; 2) she was actually particularly insecure because she had suffered domestic violence and betrayal from her ex-husband; 3) she had a stable job and a fixed residence. So, I want to try my best to complete the possibility that we are together.
This year, when I was 28, we both got married.
At first, my wife did not want to hold a wedding, but after all, I was married for the first time, so I still wanted to do it in our hometown, and my wife agreed.
Of course, some cool words will still be heard during the period: 1) if it were not for the poverty of his family, how could he marry a woman who was more than ten years older than him; 2) I don't know if it tasted good to eat soft rice.
Perhaps, growing up, I had listened to too much gossip, so I was a little numb to the finger-pointing of my neighbors.
But my wife, because she is insecure, she will ask me every three or five minutes: Will you love me for a lifetime; will you be good to me for a lifetime; you will not abandon me one day in the future.
I would give my wife a satisfactory and affirmative reply every time.
I am very grateful to my wife for giving me a stable home in the city of work; I will always remember the loneliness and bad heart I had in my single state.
In the future, I just want to work hard to create a happy future for me and my wife.
During this time, my wife proposed to me: she wanted to try to get pregnant for me. For this matter, I think it is a matter of fate.
If we can have our common children, that's fine of course, and if not, I accept that reality too.
PS: She won custody of her and her ex-husband's daughter, and I have a great relationship with her daughter.
In fact, I really don't pay much attention to blood relations, and I feel that after I get home every day after work, it is very comfortable to have a person who hurts himself and cares about himself at home.
Muzi Li edited the following words:
About making money, saving money, maybe for some people, it's really simple.
Even some people do not have to do anything every day, just rely on the interest stored in the bank, you can let themselves live a worry-free life, but most people, still for the mortgage, car loan, children's milk powder money, daily living expenses, desperately working. The key is that in this process, we must also save money and use money in order to maintain the normal operation of life.
Sometimes, poverty is the original sin of unhappiness.
It's not that we don't want to be rich, it's not that we choose to be lazy in the face of life, but sometimes we have exhausted our efforts and still can't live a glamorous life.
About you, in the process of growing up, because of poverty, you have tasted too much contempt, so, there is a life of love and home, you will be very content.
There is one point, although you did not mention it, but it should be the acquiescence of your wife: you will still give a part of the money every month to honor your parents.
In fact, in our lifetime, it is really not easy to find a person who is sympathetic and understanding to ourselves, and now that you have met, please cherish it.
You need to stick to two things: 1) know how to be grateful and don't be ungrateful; and 2) if you have money one day, don't interpret that money becomes bad.
Perhaps, only you know how difficult it is for you to start a family.
Let's briefly talk about your wife's part:
She had suffered so much harm from her ex-husband that she was now suffering from some gains and losses.
You need to use enough warmth to let go of the mustard in her heart, and this is also a long process.
In this process, she will still keep asking you questions such as "do you love me" and so on, you must not feel that she is upset, do not feel that she does not trust you, you just need to be able to patiently give a positive answer every time, she will be particularly down-to-earth.
Although she may be superior on the material level, her spiritual home is very desolate.
I hope that you can learn from each other's strengths and make your marriage more and more beautiful.