Never forget why you started because you went too far, and I mean never forget why you were together because you've been together for a long time. And never because you know each other too well, and then stab each other's knives with sharp knives.
Everyone pursues happiness, but have you ever thought about a key question, whether we ourselves have the ability to control happiness.
So you might as well calm your heart first, and then try to find a balance between unlimited needs and limited gains.
In fact, when there is a problem in marriage, it is often our own problem, and a person who does not know how to review and reflect on himself, no matter who he marries, will have a difficult road on this road. Their own problems include mentality, emotions, thoughts, and attachments.
For example, I like a sentence:
"Our attachment to marriage often becomes a weapon to hurt ourselves, because when you are desperate to do something, it must be irrational." 」
Therefore, staying sober has also become the most important thing in marriage, and there are so many wrong people, but they are just brought into a dead end by their own paranoia.
What are the secrets to a happy marriage? Some time ago, I listened to a big sister talk about her marriage, she said, I used thirteen years of marriage, summed up a point, that is, to stay sober, stay sober, stay sober, including she also asked herself for thirteen years with these four words.
Let's talk about what she means by staying awake?
1. Stay sober and have a correct understanding of marriage.
At any time, you can't bring the ideal into reality, otherwise there will be only one result, which will squeeze real life into pieces and pieces of slag.
Therefore, we must stay sober and never be too idealistic and artistic in married life.
As the saying goes:
"Today's young people don't understand marriage, and when they fall in love, they will advance to the point of marriage prematurely, and after marriage, they will treat marriage as love." Yes, this misconception about married life, and overly idealistic expectations, can only lead to a big disappointment after you get married.
Because marriage is a change of way of life, but also the most realistic life in the world, romance and passion are not its norm, at most it can be an occasional snack.
The norm of married life is that there is no end to the trivialities that cannot be handled, and there is an endless heart, there is chai rice oil and salt, there is a pension and a small child, there is a family family, there is also a family expenditure, everyone after marriage, the focus of life will shift.
This means that it is impossible to be as centered on you everywhere as it was when you were in love, and you only need to talk about love well with you.
2, stay sober, do not have too much demand or greed.
People can't be greedy, when you want everything, all your needs will certainly not be fully satisfied, this is beyond doubt, but you still want everything, then what you get can only be anger, loss, frustration, unwillingness and other negative emotions.
When you have these emotions, will it bring a great burden to your life? Naturally, too, yes.
And it will lead to the fact that you will no longer cherish what you have already received and be satisfied with the advantages of your partner, and then you will only think about how to transform your partner into a perfect person.
Therefore, people should have a clear need for marriage, and they should also have a clear desire for their partners.
However, after getting it, after being satisfied, there are no other requirements, such as just trying to take care of the partner's family at the beginning, and as a result, you still want him to be romantic, able to earn money, and able to be single-minded.
If you want everything, then in the end you will get nothing.
Don't let yourself become an insatiable person, in fact, everyone's marriage is the same, there is no perfection, we can only hold on to what we have, and the advantages of our partner.
3, stay sober, do not compare at the same time to define happiness.
Do not compare your marriage, family, partner and life with anyone, know that life is your own, others live well, have nothing to do with themselves, no matter how bad they are, no one can bear for themselves.
So we can only be content and happy in our own lives.
Li Yinhe said:
"Don't compare your life to other people's, you don't know what their life is like. Everyone ends up living their own lives, whether you think someone else's life is better than yours or worse than yours. ”
Once you compare, you can only produce a sense of gap, so that such a sense of gap affects your mentality, and you can no longer calm down. In addition, the comparison is still very unfair, often taking the shortcomings and shortcomings of the partner to compare the advantages and strengths of outsiders.
The same is true of comparisons in life, often comparing the bad parts of one's own life to the good parts of other people's lives.
Everyone's life cannot be perfect, see where he is good, but it may be that his children are not as obedient and sensible as your children, so the good things in the world cannot be occupied by any one person.
Happiness is a feeling of the mind, and it is also a self-perceived thing, which can only be defined by yourself, not living in other people's standards.
The above are the three points of summary, the meaning of staying sober.
In fact, there is also a very important point, to stay awake is not to fight each other's intimate relationship, but to become arrogant, casual, willful, otherwise once an irrational intimate relationship is formed, two people fall into each other's eyes, it will only be incomprehensible, but also impossible to communicate.
Love is not a reason to do whatever you want, and it is precisely because of love that we must be sober, rational, tolerant, supportive, understanding, and loving.
Two people together, not as long as the feelings are good, even if the feelings are very good, but the feelings are not once and for all, there is no correct attitude, there is no clear mind, and in the end it is in vain.
Often this is also the most regrettable, so when you can love, you must love well and love rationally.
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