Pay attention to "hear the blue say" and accompany you to grow better for yourself.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="3">01.</h1>
Looking at Dr. Hailan's writings, I learned that she also had five years of dark depression when she was young.
When she was in college, she liked a sunny boy in her class and plucked up the courage to confess to him, but she was rejected.
Since then, she has indulged in unrequited feelings, indulged in the grief and worthlessness of rejection, and it is better to live than to die. In her own words:
"I was immersed in pain, unable to extricate myself for a long time, gave up myself, gave up all interest in the outside world, and rejected all those who wanted to love me, thinking that in this life and this life, there is no longer love, and I almost lost my life." 」
When I read this passage, I think Dr. Hailan's depression was quite serious at that time. Because the thought of closing oneself, closing the door of the heart, and having a self-ending is a manifestation of severe symptoms.
However, Dr. Hailan has long since bid farewell to those painful years. After graduating, she used to work as an ophthalmologist in a hospital, and her prospects were bright.
But later, due to a strong interest in psychology, she quit her job in the hospital and took her family to the United States to study. The 38-year-old has given up all social resources and upside to start from scratch.
See the light at the end of the tunnel. Now, she has fulfilled her mission and vision in life and has become an influential psychologist of communication happiness in China.
Dr. Hailan's life experience can give us an important enlightenment, that is, no matter how painful the abyss you have been or are now, you will always have the opportunity and ability to jump out of this abyss and pursue a better life.
The question is, are you brave enough? Is your desire to survive strong enough? Do you have a big vision in mind?
If you have been unable to get out of depression, then the above questions need to be seriously thought out by yourself. Because happiness is never within everyone's reach, it belongs to those who really have courage and dreams.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="83">02.</h1>
In the past, during the period when I was depressed, I also thought that life was hopeless, how to go was a dead end, why should I continue to suffer?
But now, I'm doing well. Not only did I come out of the haze, but I also used my spare energy to help those in need. I began to feel what was the true essence of life, what really mattered, and that was the wisdom that came with a serious illness.
Depression is actually not so terrible, many people get sick to search the Internet randomly, and the results are scared to death. In fact, no matter what kind of disease, we must look at and understand it scientifically and rationally, so as not to be overly affected by the outside world.
Why does a person suffer from depression? In my opinion, it is nothing more than what you want, which does not match your own ability, but you can't accept it; you have embarked on the road of conforming to the external value orientation, but ignoring your real needs... Well, depression can occur.
As Dr. Hailan said, "Those overwhelmed stresses are the ones that God used to tell you in her unique way that you have strayed from the track of happiness... It is not the pressure itself that makes us feel stressed, but what we do that goes against our true desires and real needs. ”
Therefore, the emergence of depression is a signal, and its essence is also a signal. It is a reminder that your life has gone astray.
When you understand that depression is just a signal, what are you going to do? Instead of hiding in a corner in pain, not being pessimistic and whimsical all day, take the signal seriously.
Whether you can heal or not, the key point is hidden in the "signal".
Let me give you an example. Dr. Hailan fell into depression at that time, and the cause of her illness seemed to be that her beloved boy rejected her, but the essential reason was that she could not accept that the boy rejected her behind her, and she considered her "low value".
Because at that time, in the eyes of the young her, the beloved person rejected herself, which meant that she was not good enough and low value. She handed over her own value judgment to the boy, using the boy's love for her to measure how much "value" she really had.
When rejected, in her eyes, it is equivalent to her own worthlessness. And such a blow is extremely fatal to a young girl.
In fact, whether a person receives your love or not has nothing to do with how much you are worth. Because your value is defined by yourself, not by others. If there is a problem with cognition, then you will measure your own value by the attitude of others.
So, what are the signals of Dr. Aquamarine's depression? I want to tell her that your cognition is flawed and you need to correct it, otherwise you will have to suffer all the time.
And later, she did.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="85">03.</h1>
Everyone who survives depression and happiness is a hero in their own life.
Because this road is not easy to walk, but someone has done it. And beyond his original life limits, he came to a wider world.
If you can endure pain and tears to live, to explore, to persevere, you also have the opportunity to get out of the predicament of life and meet a better self. Because people who come out of depression are like having lived again, becoming energetic and full of wisdom.
The most important thing is that in the dark days, don't close your heart, don't refuse to communicate with others, don't refuse the kindness and love of others, you have to be bold to accept kindness, and boldly go out and connect with others and the world.
Don't care so much about whether you are perfect, whether you are right to talk and do things, you are just too concerned about yourself, so you do not have the ability to see so many interesting people and things in the outside world. You miss out on a lot of things that are really worth cherishing because you care so much about yourself.
What kind of people are the cutest and most popular? Real people, not perfect people.
Real people mean you have merits and small problems. It's no big deal. Dare to expose the true self to the eyes of others, rather than hiding it, real people can live freely and happily.
Others don't evaluate you very well, have some views on you, it doesn't matter at all, don't feel that others don't approve of you, the sky will fall.
Maybe you lack the support and love of interpersonal relationships, you feel weak heart, low self-esteem, then is this where you need to work hard? As long as you heal yourself first, build up your own value, and feel good about yourself, then you go out and others are willing to link with you and make friends with you.
Dr. Hailan said that in her most painful days, it was the girlfriends around her who accompanied her and helped her, so that she did not do stupid things. It can be seen that if a person wants to get out of the psychological predicament, it is absolutely indispensable to the support and nourishment of love.
The most important thing in life is love, and the answer to all problems is also love. I hope that you can recover from love, and also use your own love to warm the people around you, and be a person who transmits positive energy.
Originality is not easy, plagiarism must be investigated. Author: Blue Blue Sect Leader, a psychotherapist with temperature and depth, emotional reading blogger. Chopping wood to feed horses, writing and practicing, a lifetime on the road of exploring mental perfection. I want to be a fellow traveler with you.
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