Recently, the #Li Yundi prostitution #incident once again turned over Wu Yifan's scandal, netizens joked that the Chaoyang District Public Security Bureau was lively, singing, playing the piano.
But instead of accusing these male celebrities of misconduct, netizens are more willing to incarnate as Sherlock Holmes and explore the reasons behind it.
The following is the growth experience of the male stars who have lost their morality deeply pickpocketed by netizens, have you found anything in common?
In order to let her son learn piano well, Li Yundi's mother once staged a live-action version of "Meng Mu Three Moves" for Li Yundi. The mother declared to the outside world, "I regard practicing with my son as my career and my pursuit." ”
After Wu Yifan's parents divorced, he lived with his mother Wu Xiuqin. After the divorce, Wu's mother realized that she only had a son, so she quickly ended most of the domestic business and took Wu Yifan to immigrate to Canada, just to create a better growth environment for Wu Yifan.
The former "prince of ancient style" Huo Zun also came from a divorced family, and her mother Zhong Xiaoping devoted all her energy to her son, and Huo Zun became the only focus of her life. Huo Zun said that if you use a song to express the feelings between yourself and your mother, it is "I Only Care About You".
……
The word "mother" is full of eye-catching, summed up, netizens found that these "collapsed" male stars almost all come from divorced families or mothers with excessive control of the original family.
There is no doubt that after eating melons, some good netizens threw the pot of the artist's immorality to their mothers.
It seems that no matter what these male artists do, their mothers are the source of all evil.
Regardless of these people's adolescence, weren't they an adult male who was conscious and capable of behaving when they committed the event of immorality? Why do you have to throw the pot to your mother when something goes wrong?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="24" > missing father</h1>
In these years, the role of the mother is too bad, and strict discipline of the child will be described as "too much control"; if there is a slight negligence in the care of the child, it will be said to be "unworthy of being a mother"; if you give up your child, you will be said to be a "tiger mother"; as soon as the child is wrong, the mother will be accused of "look at the good son you teach".
Including this Incident of Li Yundi, the experience of Li Yundi's childhood to adulthood has been cleaned up in the past, and we even know that Li Yundi's mother is called Zhang Xiaolu, but in these articles, his father's name has never appeared.
Looking back, the Wu Yifan incident is also like this, if Huo Zun is not because his father is too famous, it is estimated that he will be like Li Yundi's father in the public's verbal criticism and penmanship.
We often say that children's problems are parents' problems, and then the public often assumes that parents' problems are mother's problems.
But is this really the case?
Not!
These acquiescences and the invisibility of fathers are actually the real problems.
William Pollack, a psychologist at Harvard University, after studying the relationship between fatherlessness and boy crime, has pointed out that in the absence of fathers, boys will lack discipline education and behavioral supervision, and lack the opportunity to understand how to be a responsible man. When they grow up, they are more violent and more confused in the relationship between men and women. The growing phenomenon of the entertainment industry seems to support this view.
In fact, the impact of the absence of a father's role is not only reflected in the child's adulthood, but also when the child is younger, they will be more insecure, look tough and actually more vulnerable, and it is easy to form a flattering personality.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="100" > the effect of "missing paternal roles" on children</h1>
We often hear the word "widowed parenting" refers to the family parenting model with a missing father's role, and now this phenomenon has become more and more common, and more and more children suffer from "paternal love deficiency".
So what exactly can the role of a father bring to the child?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="101" >01, help children form their own gender roles</h1>
Imitation is the nature of children, and for boys, they are able to understand the male position of human behavior through their fathers, imitate their own fathers, and thus learn to deal with frustration, tension and anxiety, more like little men.
For girls, through contact and communication with their fathers, they learn to communicate with the opposite sex correctly, eliminate the mystery and shyness of the opposite sex, and realize their unique gender role characteristics that are different from men, form a female consciousness, and grow up to know how to interact with the opposite sex.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="102" >02, promote the cultivation of children's social communication skills and independence</h1>
In the child's daily activities, the mother is generally a caregiver, from time to time to remind the child "do not fall", "be careful", which makes the child have no opportunity to explore alone, over time, the child is easy to form a character trait of dependence on others.
Fathers will give their children more surprises, play more "crazy" with their children, let go of their children to explore the world autonomously, and cultivate their independence.
Father and Son, which has been written into textbooks, tells us that dads have a special connection with children, and it is more fun to be with dads.
A while ago, Qi Wei's daughter "Lucky" can be said to be countless fans, but many people may not know that this eccentric little girl was brought out by Li Chengxuan, a former full-time grandfather!
Lee Seung-hyun once said in an interview that during that time, he often read parenting books to learn how to become a better father and how to better educate his children. But sometimes in the face of lucky's crying, sometimes I can't control my temper and anger, and then I often feel regret, every day in the emotional collapse, and there is a period of depression.
In real life, many people rightfully believe that raising children is a woman's due obligation, and that taking care of children is a simple matter.
But Lee Seung-hyun's experience allows the audience to see the difficulty of every child's growth process, and bringing children is a matter of parenthood, not something a wife should do, but a responsibility that both people should shoulder.
As a wife, Qi Wei, when talking about her husband's full-time baby, always upholds a grateful attitude, she said: "Thank you very much to your husband, so that she can pursue her dreams with peace of mind." ”
Fathers due to extroversion and sociality, they have more self-confidence, bravery, strength, decisiveness, independent character, then in interpersonal communication will be more open and harmonious, endowed with a spirit of adventure and enterprising spirit, will bring different ways and effects for children's education than mothers, with father-based children, often have stronger resistance and independence.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="103" >03, help children establish a sense of rules and boundaries</h1>
Fathers, in the child's consciousness, represent social rules and unspoken rules. Children will identify with society from identifying with their fathers.
Children in this period are full of curiosity about society, he will test the first time in life, carefully test the bottom line, test the boundary, at this time, the father must come to tell him what to do and what not to do, especially after the child makes a mistake, to immediately point out, in a way that the child is more acceptable to give the corresponding punishment, which will erect a sense of boundaries and rules in the child's growth, which is conducive to his compliance with school rules in school, after entering the society to abide by the law.
In the fifth season of the parent-child variety show "Where Did Daddy Go", Du Jiang and Huo Siyan's son Hum liked Liu Genghong's daughter Xiao Puff, out of love, once, Hum kissed Xiao Puff in front of his father. Immediately, Du Jiang began to communicate with his son seriously——
"Before you go to your relative's home, ask for their consent."
"Don't kiss someone like this next time"
Tell the child in a serious tone that some behaviors are not allowed, and some behaviors are to seek the opinions of others first, which is respect. As a father, Du Jiang, in addition to showing his attitude to his son at the first time, also took the initiative to explain the reason and apologize to the father of the little puff. Teach by your own words and deeds to build a sense of boundaries and rules for your children.
We can see that if both parents participate in their children's education, the children they cultivate tend to have a stronger sense of security and are more positive and optimistic in the face of life. After all, the family is the source of the child, and the parent is the mirror of the child.
We often hear the saying that companionship is the best education.
No amount of material and money can replace the company of parents. It is hoped that in the process of growing up, the role of father will no longer be absent.
Part of the information comes from: Focus on Meow Attention | The lack of fatherhood in the family, how busy can you have the prime minister busy?