The essence of crush is actually just a psychological phenomenon. The feeling of secretly liking someone is like a piece of window paper, and I don't dare or want to break it.
Under this self-motivation of "yes, I actually really love you", the crush sometimes has the spirit of finding true love, so they try harder to make themselves better; and sometimes, it seems to fall into a pink trap that cannot be escaped, and there is nothing they can do, but they are suffering. Some people will even sacrifice everything with a martyr's determination for a love that has never begun.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > a one-man binge</h1>
Countless romance novels, film and television works have described the greatness of the crush in a colorful way. Because they don't ask for anything in return and give silently. But is this really the case?
Although, crush is also a way of love, unfortunately, it is only a carnival of one person, not an interaction of two people's feelings. The crush party finds the shadow of "love" through his own fantasy of "love", thus obtaining psychological self-balance.
Unfortunately, the object of the crush is unaware. The happiness of the crush party is also impossible to share with the person being crushed.
When someone is secretly in love with another person, when facing each other, they dare not confess, regardless of whether the other party already knows that they are loved. This kind of behavior is actually a kind of "platonic love" that the crush loves for the spirit.
For example, in the TV series "The Gate of the Big Mansion", the story of Bai Yuting and Wan Xiaoju is a good example. Everyone fell in love with Wan Xiaoju, the famous corner of Pear Garden, but because of her identity, she could not get close to Wan Xiaoju. When Wan Xiaoju hid in Bai Yuting's home because she was hiding from the Japanese army, she knew that Bai Yuting had a deep affection for herself and was inexplicably moved.
When everyone was looking forward to the talented beauty finally becoming a family member, Bai Yuting told Wan Xiaoju that she had been married to Wan Xiaoju's photo for many years and left with her sleeves folded. It is difficult to say, is she in love with Wan Xiaoju or the ideal love in her heart?
In fact, for the crush, the reason for their crush may be because the object of affection already has a good person to accompany, but can not give up the feelings in their hearts; it may also be because of shyness and timidity and miss the opportunity; or because of the age, background gap or moral constraints, dare not pursue. For whatever reason, a crush is a wordless love – because if it is not revealed, it will naturally not be rejected or accepted.
However, because of personal considerations, let the object of the crush lose the opportunity to enjoy happiness, this kind of love, can it really be called "great"?
Shouldn't the purpose of loving someone be to make the other person happy?
Isn't it greater to be able to make your loved one feel appreciated and recognized even if you are rejected?
Besides, if you haven't pursued it, how do you know if you can start a romantic and happy love journey?
In fact, the crush is not as great as described in the romance novels. Truly great love is precisely to make the loved one happy and happy at the same time, but also to harvest their own happiness.
Although sometimes, the crush is a choice made out of necessity, but the crush really pays a lot of price. Because of this, for the object of the crush, this becomes a spiritual burden, which can only be disrespectful. As a result, the crush will hold the idea of "I still hope you are good" and continue to pay silently.
So, what is so great about this kind of "you don't want, I still want to give" love?
Moreover, when a person is obsessed with an impossible love, it means that other people's love for that person is also rejected. This way of loving is obviously not the true meaning of love.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > not as beautiful as expected</h1>
Everyone may find someone they like or like in the process of interacting with the opposite sex at the age of their love sinus. At this time, the feeling of crush will arise spontaneously.
Although a short crush can become a beautiful scenery in life, many people will indulge in it for a long time, and eventually become a serious psychological obstacle.
According to psychologists, if a person invests too much affection and energy in the process of crush, the content of phenylethylamine in the body will gradually decrease, resulting in an increase in painful emotions, and then the spirit will gradually decadence. In this state, in addition to being prone to various physical discomforts, it will also make the psychology twist in long-term pain.
Because of the long-term torment of pain, they will intellectually tell themselves that they should not continue to indulge in an impossible relationship, but they cannot get rid of it. Eventually, it is likely to suffer from anxiety disorders, allowing yourself to be tormented by the contradiction between reason and emotion, which has a huge negative impact on life, study and work.
In addition, there is a situation of a crush. This situation is related to the bad information that the crush receives.
If a person has been sexually assaulted or harassed by a mature opposite sex during adolescence, or has learned a lot of information about this type. Then in adulthood, the person is likely to have a sense of fear of the opposite sex.
This is because in adolescence, everyone will have a lot of delusions, and the object will often be their own close elders. Disturbed by the external environment and information, some people will regard the care of their parents as "temptation" and the care of teachers as "admiration".
This is actually the result of the delusion of "incest complex" in normal adolescence, which is guided by cognitive bias after being disturbed by a bad environment or bad information. Due to cognitive biases, the person concerned will have a sense of fear of the object of the delusion.
Psychology believes that if a person's fear of a certain opposite sex persists for too long, eventually the fear of a certain opposite sex will be projected onto all the opposite sex.
All in all, while a crush isn't that good, it's not without benefit, at least it can satisfy, to some extent, our regret that we can't get it.
Because, a life without love is a long night without dawn!
Above, I am @Psycho Counselor NEMO and hope my article can help you.
#Crush ##Crush This Little Thing##Emotion#Just One Person ##恋爱 #