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Text | Fish Daddy
Source | Raising Boys (ID: breedboy)
1
Some mothers said that if you go out to walk your baby, especially if you walk a little boy, you must not go out without the three chapters of the law.
I couldn't agree more with that.
Because I took my son downstairs for a walk at night, it often turned into running.
If you chase me, ignore him and poke you a few times, and if you don't play with him, you won't let you go.
I reminded him to slow down, it didn't work.
I said don't make a fuss, don't make a fuss, make a lot more of a fuss.
Image source: TV series "Big Little Lies"
This little guy born with a "Y" sex chromosome will bring endless educational confusion to his parents since birth.
The great greek philosopher Plato wrote more than 2300 years ago:
"Of all the animals, boys are the most difficult to control."
They are adventurous, climbing high, climbing trees, and are often scarred by their "adventurous" moves.
And they are born with a stubborn temper, the parents say that the east is biased to the west, the more the parents say that they can't, the more he wants to try, the more his parents want to control, the more he resists.
They grin widely and look careless, but they often have a sensitive heart, and the disrespect and understanding of their parents often make them sad for a long time.
In the face of active boys, parents should understand and encourage them to try.
Instead of prohibiting it, because that would hurt them.
Once, I met a mother walking her baby in the playground of the community, and I felt sorry for the little boy.
The boy should be around 3 years old.
As he excitedly ran toward a bunch of kids, his mother immediately grabbed him and said, "Run slowly!" Don't fall. ”
When he was only playing for a while, his mother stood next to him again and said, "Don't fight!" Mom is here watching you. ”
When he came down the slide, Mom said, "This is so dirty!" Do not put your hands on the ground. ”
When he ran around excitedly, his mother said, "Don't run, you'll sweat!" ”
It's a "don't" mom.
Although he was fully cared for, the boy was always disturbed.
We need to take care of the safety of our children, but this is not the same as keeping them firmly tied.
When my son played with his friends, I wanted to be a watchman quietly.
Stay away from your child and don't look at your phone, because you should pay close attention to the dangers that appear in the blink of an eye.
Look at him, but do not interfere with him, and when danger arises, avoid it in time.
Image credit: Little Naughty Nicholas' Holiday
There is a passage in "The Catcher of the Rye":
"I'm going to be a watchman in the wheat fields." There was a group of children playing in a big wheat field. Thousands of children, not a single adult nearby, were on the edge of the cliff of the. My duty is to watch over there. If any child comes to the edge of the cliff, I will catch him. ”
When the child is playing, the parents just watch quietly and do not interfere too much.
Otherwise, he will find you for a while in the future, and he will not be able to leave you and be independent.
2
Some jokes don't play with boys
If you make some jokes with a girl, you tend to laugh it off and think you're lying or you mean it.
But when it comes to boys, that's not the case.
They talked about the cosmic starry sky, talked about the ancient giant beasts can talk endlessly, it looks very cattle and very powerful!
Don't think so.
Maybe a single sentence can make them burst into tears in an instant.
Image source: Movie "Heartbeat"
For example, some mothers like to joke with boys: "I prefer my sister!" "Or rather: I really don't like a son like this."
He burst into tears, and then his mother joyfully took him into her arms and comforted him.
Contented to feel the child's attachment to himself, but without considering the blow the joke hits the boy.
Boys mature later than girls, and this consensus is increasingly recognized by everyone.
So you're talking about invisible love! Rules!
It was as if the signal had been blocked by something, and they didn't accept it very well.
Instead, I prefer to put one block together or explore all the cabinets in your house.
What they can see is more interesting to them and to do better.
Girls will also be better than boys in the expression and feeling of emotions.
There's a movie I really like, "Thrilling," a film critic said
"A girl's thrill can often be determined by just one shot, while a boy's thrill requires the length of a film."
In the face of this somewhat "silly" boy, parents often need more patience.
Help them learn to express their emotions and learn to understand their emotional language.
And in the process of their maturity, don't feel a big grin on their strong endurance, you can casually look at the joke.
This is a misunderstanding.
Don't feel that girls should be rich and caring.
We should also be careful in caring for boys, and when they are young, they even need to pour more love and warmth.
3
Don't label the boys
To understand a boy, it is more important to respect them than to label them casually.
There was a boy in my son's little fish class, arguably one of his best friends, because they both visited each other's homes, so I paid more attention to this boy.
He was a little bigger than the boys in the class, and his arms and palms were much stronger than those of a small fish.
When I took his hand, I felt completely different, and I thought this boy was really strong!
But when I picked up my child the other day, another mother said, "He may be the most crying boy in the class!" ”
I thought I had heard it wrong.
The teacher also said: "I remember when the kindergarten started, he cried all day. ”
On the way I asked Little Fish, and he said that once he cried because another boy didn't play with him.
It seems that he really likes to cry!
What a strong boy on the outside and sensitive on the inside!
Therefore, waiting for his inner growth, he needs his parents to infuse more love and give him strong strength.
Of course, none of us should label him a "crying ghost".
Because every boy has different psychological characteristics.
These have a lot to do with his growing environment and individual physique.
We need to embrace our children's diversity with a more inclusive mindset and wait for them to mature.
4
In the face of this little boy, you must have enough confidence that he will become a good boy.
Because you believe that in the end the child will really become what you believe.
Even if they are not excellent at present, they still cry with red eyes and even lose their temper.
Lack of concentration, procrastination, always being criticized by the teacher.
……
Don't keep counting because I want you to see more of the good in children.
Of course, these shortcomings that you feel have become a problem that interferes with your child's life.
That can not be ignored, we will break one by one, guide the child to grow.
It is true that boys are inferior to girls in language.
So when this year's opening ceremony, Xiaoyu did a 5-minute picture book sharing on the stage, the teacher told me that it was a miracle, to know that in the past few years, girls had done such sharing on stage.
When I knew that the teacher had found the little fish and talked about this task, I knew that he would definitely do it.
Because this is the accumulation of reading that he has been reading since a few months, he has enough ability to share.
But a year ago, even with the foundation of reading, it was still difficult to do it, and he spoke nervously on stage.
But over the past year, I've encouraged him to repeat stories for me and encouraged him to participate in some of the school's recitations.
Starting from simple short poems, to long poems such as Guan Ju and Ge Qin, to the enlightenment of sound rhythm, and then to today's picture book sharing.
Step by step, although he was cautious and afraid that he would make a mistake, he still made progress little by little.
I told him that it was okay to make mistakes, let him find self-confidence, and with hard work, he could finally cope with it.
So, don't think how stupid boys are, not as sharp as girls, encourage and train, they can also do well.
Admittedly, boys are indeed inferior to girls in emotional management.
But if you give your children enough respect and love, they will slowly learn to respect and love, and no longer punch and kick people because of their temper.
I will also begin to learn to care for the little grass and flowers, and I will tell my parents that I love you and express my inner feelings.
Don't hurt us, and don't deliberately get used to boys.
When you find out that he deliberately disrupts discipline in class and affects other children.
It was time to tell him about the rules, and if he didn't follow them, he could punish them.
Don't be afraid that punishment will hurt your child, and don't be afraid that criticism will hit your child.
On the basis of love, within a reasonable range, you can do whatever you want.
Love and rules never contradict each other.
I'm not used to you, isn't it a deeper love!
"Dear ones, remember to like oh ~" at the end of the article
Author's profile: Author: Fish Dad, a child at home, determined to be a qualified post-80s dad, children's book editor, reading promoter. Public account: raising boys (ID: breedboy) (a most loving public account, for parent groups, every day to share parenting common sense, parent-child reading promotion, family relationship construction knowledge, the new book "Growing up with children, is the best parenting" when the network is on sale. ）
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