1
Some time ago, the well-known male host Ma Zhiyu angrily rebuked his wife in the live broadcast room, which caused an uproar.
On the same day, Ma Zhiyu broadcast live on social platforms. Fans heard that he and his wife had some conflicts, so they suggested that the live broadcast room be connected to communicate and solve it.
However, contrary to their wishes, the two sides not only did not solve the problem amicably, but the quarrel intensified.
The woman accused the man of being too busy and ignoring the family in the live broadcast room, but Ma Zhiyu did not agree with his wife's statement, and even called him a "lie".
Neither side has the intention of backing down.
When the two quarreled more and more intensely, Ma Zhiyu also excitedly called his father-in-law's phone, wanting to get the support of his family, but the phone was not answered.
Towards the end of the live broadcast, the emotional two finally agreed to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau in early July to apply for divorce.
This wave of operations made fans watching the live broadcast stunned.
Many netizens who watched the live broadcast wondered: what caused the two people to quarrel fiercely was just a trivial matter in life, why it ended in "agreed divorce".
Some netizens shouted the truth, revealing that they were also like Ma Zhiyu's wife, who complained that the other half was too busy, regardless of themselves, regardless of home.
Yes, there are too many women in marriage who always unconsciously argue about small things, and eventually hurt others and hurt themselves.
But in fact, what really determines the quality of marriage is not your partner, but your attitude towards marriage and yourself.
Zhou Guoping once said:
"All interactions have insurmountable final boundaries. Between the two, the line is unclear, yet certain. All troubles and conflicts arise from the inadvertent attempt to break through this line. ”
When you base your marital security on others, when you constantly try to cross the last boundaries between husband and wife, trying to take the other person for yourself, your marriage will quickly disintegrate.
In the final analysis, it is difficult to live a good life for one person, and it is difficult to live a good life for two people.
2
I know that an anonymous netizen recorded the real life of the couple.
The subject is a well-behaved girl who has been obedient to her parents since she was a child. Before getting married, her parents told her that after marriage, she must not be weak and become the hostess of the family.
In the beginning, girls lived as their elders said. She also once believed that when her husband married her, he should hurt her and love her, and everything should be listened to.
As a result, she will arrange her husband's food, clothing, shelter and transportation, she will also check her husband's various chat software from time to time, and even sometimes call her husband's colleagues to verify whether what he says is true or false.
Since marriage, her world has been filled with her husband. She also hopes that her husband can be like her and spend the rest of his time outside of work with her.
Unfortunately, some things, the tighter they are, the more they can't hold.
Slowly, the husband who had a good personality in her eyes began to change his temperament, and he began to get angry with her and growl at her, and the two became more and more difficult to communicate.
Gradually, the girls began to wonder whether what their parents said was right or wrong.
Dai Jianye, a professor at Central China Normal University, said something like this:
"We must not 'have great ambitions' for love marriage, the greater the 'ambition', the deeper the pain, the more demanding and the less the harvest."
In the two-person world, you can 'set high standards' for yourself, but you can't be 'strict' with your partner. ”
A good marriage is a combination of two independent individuals who need intimacy, space and freedom.
Many times, marriages are unhappy, not because of a lack of love for each other, but because of a lack of space for each other.
Even the most intimate lover needs to keep their distance.
Truly long-lasting marriages are often both interdependent and self-reliant.
3
Su Xin, a self-media person, has a friend, because of the ease of work, coupled with the fact that her children have been in closed schools for a long time, she has a lot of free time every day.
Friends don't have any hobbies, and every day they just stare at their husbands and don't let him go out.
Unfortunately, the husband of a friend has a lot of socializing in the unit, and most of the socializing cannot be shirked, which naturally makes the friend unhappy.
Every time Su Xin met a friend, the friend always complained to her, saying that the man she married was useless.
One night, Su Xin's husband and a friend's husband happened to attend a dinner party together. At about 9 p.m., the friend hung up Su Xin's phone, and as soon as he answered it, the friend asked in anger:
"Did your family go back?" What time is it, still drinking, have you called? ”
Su Xin saw that his friend was angry and wanted to say a few words to forgive his friend:
"No, anyway, drinking too much he is uncomfortable, I am not uncomfortable, what does he do, maybe he still provokes a stomach, is it not fragrant to read books by himself?" You also ignore the big brother, he loves not to go back, you wash and go to bed early. ”
When the friend saw that Su Xin did not stand in the united front with her, he did not say more and hung up the phone in a hurry.
As you can imagine, her friend most likely had another quarrel with her husband that night.
Later, somehow, my friend became obsessed with calligraphy, not only practicing wildly at home, but also deliberately learning from professional teachers for a while.
Her friend's husband was very supportive of her hobby and bought a pen and paper.
When Su Xin saw her friend again, she found that her whole person had changed. In addition to talking about calligraphy, the rest is a happy marriage that is overflowing with words.
Su Xin thought about it for a long time later, and finally understood: the man is still the man, the home is still the home, but the friend himself is alive, and everything will naturally get better.
Emerson once said: "If you want to maintain an intimate relationship well, you need a proper sense of proportion, so that you don't cling to it, don't toss it, and know how to give in, naturally." ”
Literally.
When you have a bad life alone, you see the shortcomings and shortcomings of others; when you live alone, you will find that many things naturally follow you.
4
There is an enviable love in the entertainment industry, called Huang Lei and Sun Li.
The lovers who met in college have now gone through more than 20 years, but they are still envious of others.
Many people wonder what form they get along with on a daily basis.
In fact, Huang Lei has publicly given the answer:
"When we're together, we're happy;
When they are not together, two people will also have a good life and will find their own happiness.
When I was filming outside, Sun Li would arrange her life colorfully, and I was very relieved. ”
When Huang Lei went out to shoot, Sun Li did not give up her life, she would pick up her interest, sign up for dance classes, and often share videos of her dancing on Weibo.
When the two are at home, they will cook together, take a walk, and chat.
Baby Anne wrote in "Rose Island": The best love is that two people are with each other, do not bind, do not possess.
Good marriages are "each passing their own way."
Only a marriage that takes what is needed, enjoys both cares and bonds, and does not lose space and freedom can go a long way.
Song Dandan once said a sentence:
"Women marry themselves in the end, and happiness depends on you."
Don't wait for others to redeem you in marriage, the only thing that can really determine your happiness is yourself.