<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right">01</h1>
Wu Xieyu's life has overlapping AB faces.
His A-side is a genius who was admitted early to Peking University, won the "Liao Kaiyuan Scholarship", and scored as much as the top 5% of the world's English GRE.
His B-side is a murderer who buys bone knives, kitchen knives, saw blades, activated charcoal, infrared alarms, arranges the room where the body is hidden, cheats relatives of huge sums of money, and falls in love with sex workers.
A highly intelligent son who plotted to brutally murder a single biological mother.
In court, he dissected himself and blamed his change on his father's death.
"Daddy's absence is not a complete home. My mother didn't talk to me about many things and didn't let me worry about it. ”
When the pillar of the family fell on his taciturn mother, Wu Xieyu lamented that he was lonely inside, became world-weary, and decided to kill his mother after repeated suicide attempts.
"Mom is like Lin Daiyu, who is about to die in 'Dream of the Red Chamber', I killed her to make her free."
He excused himself, seeing killing his mother as "extreme love": we died together so we could be with Dad.
He even said, "The killing of the mother is like completing a mathematical model, and how to prepare, arrange, and implement each step is under control", "At that time, I thought this method was the greatest."
Therefore, he chose his mother's "death date" on July 10, 2015, as opposed to his birthday on October 7.
You give me life, I give you death.
When human nature slowly collapses, it must be accompanied by a deep reason.
It is not difficult to see Wu Xieyu's words of confessing his sins while blaming his parents for his actions, and it is not difficult to find that he has a very contradictory psychological structure, and the defects of human nature have been extremely alienated.
As the writer Tang Yinghong said: "He talked about being affected by his father's illness, talking about inner uneasiness and fear, and talking about not being able to bear his mother to live alone."
He confessed to the prosecution's accusations, wept bitterly and repented, but he never mentioned the crime plot of the step-by-step camp, and he was using layer after layer of 'stories' to package the core criminal motives and criminal psychology. ”
He tried to make "rational" arguments for his crimes in order to alleviate his guilt.
In fact, he didn't realize at all that there was anything wrong with killing his mother.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right">02</h1>
After tracking Wu Xieyu's trial, I tried to find the reason why Wu Xieyu was so character.
Until I saw a sentence from Professor Li Meijin:
Some of Wu Xieyu's confessions did not truthfully explain the real motive process, which is a delicate egoist and a highly intelligent criminal.
His cleverness gives him more than enough to cope with reality and all kinds of people, but his heart is empty, empty to the point of no soul. ”
I remembered what Wu Xieyu said in court, "I only studied to meet my parents' expectations, not myself." ”
From childhood to adulthood, he played the "perfect child" that his parents needed, and even the process of killing his mother became a "perfect crime under control".
He has a "perfect" appearance, but inside he is a hollow man.
Therefore, he could not seriously examine his own behavior before the mother-killing action, and he could not openly look at his own heart after being arrested.
Kevin Xu, deputy director of the Center for Mental Health Education and Counseling at Peking University, was the first to propose the concept of "hollow heart disease."
"Our children are sick and have psychological disorders caused by value deficits."
They have a strong sense of loneliness and meaninglessness that happens to very good children, or "good kids" in people's eyes. I try to live, study, and work hard to get a sense of accomplishment, but when I find that all those things are available, my heart is still empty.
They care very much about what others think of themselves and maintain a good self-image in the eyes of others, but because they do it all for others, they do it very hard and tired.
They have strong suicidal ideation, may have been confused since junior high school, high school or even earlier, and have already attempted suicide.
He is a genius in test-taking education and a fool in his kinship relationship.
To put it more seriously.
Maybe the children around you and me have not yet developed into such an extreme point as Wu Xieyu, Huang Mouyang, Xiao Yao, and Li Moumou. However, the contradiction between parents and children, the contradiction between the individual and the family, still exists in every door.
They no longer come home and call out "Mommy and Daddy" affectionately.
They are no longer keen to share bits and pieces of school with you at the dinner table.
They no longer began to share their little secrets, the silence of facial expressions and the tightly closed doors, and all kinds of problems began to breed in the darkness.
How many parents are irritable because of their children's relationship, and at the same time, they are often in trouble.
What is wrong with our education?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right">03</h1>
Why do our children have so many psychological problems?
Writing this, many people may have the same feelings as their ears.
In our time, parents and teachers did not pay attention to any way or method at all, and it was common to be beaten and scolded, but in the blink of an eye, they forgot about it when they went crazy in the field with their partners, and they didn't care at all.
However, why do children now suffer from various mental illnesses "easily"?
Chen Mo, secretary general of the Shanghai Psychological Association, spent 20 years studying more than 8,000 family cases and finally concluded:
Today's children are a complex of contradictions between the times and society. They have long since changed, and parents and teachers are still obsessed.
At the age of two or three, he began to memorize Tang poems, at the age of four or five, he rushed to learn English, he found a tutor in primary school, and then he seamlessly connected the tutoring class when he was older...
They are born with unprecedented academic pressures and a heavy emotional burden.
In this era under the feet, the channels for obtaining information are within reach, and the children have accumulated too many emotions, but the family does not allow them to vent, and no one helps them dredge the psychological garbage.
They can use the Internet to continuously broaden themselves, and they have high requirements for discourse, but they rarely get equal dialogue and tie their hands and feet in family relations.
They have no outlet to release the pressure, so they do not erupt in silence, they go crazy in silence.
Station B has a depression interview short film "Under the Lights" produced by three post-00s high school students, which won the third prize of CTB (Harvard University's international level high school students' interdisciplinary innovative academic activities).
An 18-year-old girl named Junko confided in her heart.
For a while, academic pressures, relationships, and not-so-good family atmospheres stacked up on top of each other, trapping her.
She began to be in a daze and had insomnia all night, causing her to have trouble concentrating in class, and all of a sudden the world began to regress and everything became a mess.
She said: "At the beginning, it was just a bad mood in life, and later, a bad mood is the whole of life. ”
Today's children are pushed away by countless pairs of hands, but none of them hold them and make them stop and rest for a while.
When society measures a person's value by scores, rankings, prestigious schools, and certificates, utilitarianism is magnified, and the anxiety of parents directly empties the child's heart.
It is the child who is hurt the most, and it will only be the child.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >04 See yourself, see heaven and earth, see all beings</h1>
Yu Dan once said that the essence of education is to complete people.
Unfortunately, many parents have been forced by society to rewrite the meaning of "education".
We tell our children that when they are students, they must fight for grades, and they must work hard to go to society, but they forget to save their children's hearts.
Forgot to tell them how people are going to fulfill themselves.
When "A Generation of Grandmasters" was released, Zhang Ziyi's sentence "People who practice martial arts have three stages, seeing themselves, seeing heaven and earth, and seeing sentient beings" became one of the most widely praised lines.
This is also one of the most important life concepts that parents should teach their children in my mind.
To see oneself is to shape oneself.
You must help your child learn to know himself correctly, face himself, accept himself, and not be arrogant or impatient.
Seeing heaven and earth means social status.
You have to take your children to the world.
Only when we have seen the vast land can we know our own smallness; only when we have seen the vast ocean can we know our own superficiality; only when we know the high people can we know our own shortcomings.
To see sentient beings is to re-examine the world after putting oneself in the right position.
You have to teach your child to love, to embrace the world with a sharp heart, to embrace the world tenderly, to reconcile with all imperfections.
Tell him to boldly walk far away, even if you fail, don't be afraid, just look back and you can see you waving and saying "it's okay".
In a speech, Professor Kevin Tsui said:
"In this era of buying and returning pearls, I feel like we've thrown away a lot of things.
When we put all our time and energy into earning money and don't give our children the best love and companionship, it's not strange that the children don't have problems.
We want to give them the best thing in the world, not scores, not money, but love, wisdom, creativity and happiness. ”
The most extreme education is to find a balance between punishment and forgiveness, and to teach children values, social skills, and life skills in a kind and firm atmosphere.
When the child's heart is uncertain, you have to be the needle of the sea god.
Parents and children are one, and we are all each other's practice.
Tension is relaxed, run into each other, four or two strokes, let the words return to the table, let the door of the heart open again.
Never push your child too tightly, and don't make yourself an "imaginary enemy" of your child.
-END-
Hello everyone, I am the king's ear, I don't know astronomy, I don't know geography, and I know a little bit of life in the middle. Pay attention to [Wang Ear], a middle-aged boy who can't help but roar when the road is uneven.