People always ask me questions about intergenerational parenting, and most parents assume that "it is impossible to change the elderly." I would like to say that children can think about a question: Why is it so difficult for us to change the elderly in our daily lives? Because in the inherent environment and habitual life, it is difficult for the elderly to be "lit up". If we want our mother's mother to keep up with the times, we must find a way to "light up" her first, then the contradiction of generational parenting will naturally slowly be solved.
There is also a link, that is, we always pay lip service to respecting the elders, but let the elders feel that they are "useless", because they cannot meet our requirements. Imagine if we could make the old man feel that she could also be appreciated and praised, would she want to do better, closer to our requirements. Therefore, on the way to study, my mother gained not only the praise of her teammates, but also the internal motivation to encourage her to keep up with the times and get closer to us.
The last time I traveled with my mother was many years ago, and I always wanted to travel together again, but I was delayed by the epidemic. On the occasion of my mother's birthday this year, I invited her to join our Guizhou study camp, and without any hesitation after listening to it, she immediately began to take medicines for the health of her legs and feet, prepared many beautiful clothes, and brought paint for painting and so on. Along the way, she gathered on time, backpacked herself, loved others, did not rely on the old and sold the old; seeing that I needed to work with the team at night, she always took care of herself and never caused trouble for her daughter.
▲ Mother fulfills her wish and sets foot on this homeland of Guizhou The left one is Zhang Luoyuan's little teammate
I think as a daughter, there are not many people who can give to elderly mothers, because materially she has no shortage of anything. However, if I can bring the great rivers, mountains, and cultures of various places to my mother; I can give her some special opportunities, such as the opportunity to make friends and express myself, the opportunity to show my painting expertise, and the opportunity to be praised by the juniors... Then the mother will definitely feel it, because this is a different tribute to life.
Thank you to your mother for writing a good article for the public account, and then wish my mother a happy birthday!
- Jing Jie
My Mother is the author of this article
In early July, I had the privilege of participating in the "Qianxing Parent-Child Summer Camp". Walking in the green mountains and green waters of the ancient villages around Guiyang every day, seeing the new things that continue to emerge during the journey, I was deeply encouraged by my advanced age, and also inspired my childlike heart to spend more than ten days and nights in this life.
▲ My mother painted the fan on the first day she arrived in Guiyang and gave it to a new friend
To tell you the truth, this is the first time I have participated in a parent-child study summer camp with school-age teenagers. I thought that the study was just entertainment, so that the children could rely on the summer days, and the itinerary must be safe and happy, which could also reduce the pressure of parents' care, but the dinner after the camping ceremony deeply touched me.
Before the meal, the children, led by the older sister, recited the dining etiquette and precautions, and then invited the grandparents in the team to the table. When I was still saying thank you, the parents in the team immediately persuaded me to let the children inherit the dining culture of the sages, respect the elders and orderly, civilized meals, correct the children's "self-centered" thinking habits, and make up for the lack of cultivation. Parents advocate, children are willing, I will also understand. In an instant, as an old man, I accepted a piece of respect from children and parents.
In the next trip, whenever I encounter climbing or climbing the stairs, the children will take the initiative to help me, and my satchel will be grabbed by the children to carry. I couldn't bear to let the children help me, but the parents of my teammates said to me: "Grandma, you should give the children a chance!" It is in this way that parents plant the seed of "helping the elderly and helping others for fun" in the young minds of their children, shaping the spiritual core of children's character and learning.
▲ My mother and teammate Jiang Zhi's mother (left), the two grandmothers always stride in front of the big troops, which is the pride of our research team
After a few days, I think that the study summer camp is unusual and very attractive, based on the natural scenery of Guizhou's cascading mountains and unique ethnic minority customs, but also combined with the knowledge of landscape science, taking field-style field teaching, teaching children about science and humanistic knowledge; leading children to visit museums and other places, conducting multi-faceted inspection experience, and receiving immediate educational results. With great enthusiasm, parents accompany their children to study and work together, and they also go down to the rice field to catch fish, go on the stage to act, sit in class to paint, and do carpentry work...
Creation originates from life, higher than life, these activities are nothing less than the best living teaching materials, which not only opens up the wisdom of children's brains, but also enriches social cognition, strengthens humanistic communication, and adds more energy to growth.
▲ Mother glanced at the landscape of Guizhou and looked into the distance
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<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="48" > was born in Duyun, Guizhou, in a dream</h1>
I have a special affection for Guizhou, after the outbreak of the War of Resistance Against Japanese Aggression in the 1930s, my father went to the front line with the Chinese Expeditionary Force to resist the Japanese in Anshun (Note: a city under the jurisdiction of Guizhou Province, located in the central and western part of Guizhou Province). My mother had to cope with childbirth alone, delivering births for herself, and was born in a bungalow in a sloping bungalow next to a highway in Duyun (Note: Qiannan Prefecture, Guizhou Province, located in the eastern part of the south of Guizhou Province). After that, I lived in Guiyang for another five years, but I hardly remembered anything from my childhood, so I always had a wish to visit my birthplace again in my lifetime, to see the scenery of Guizhou, and to thank the landscape here for giving birth to my life and childhood.
When I set foot on this homeland, the rich aroma of grass and trees immediately entered my lungs, making me fascinated. "Yunfeng Eight Villages" is located in the south of Anshun City, consisting of eight Tunbao villages such as Yunshan Tun, Lei Tun, Ben Zhai, Xiao Shan Zhai and Wu Tun, of which Yun Shan Tun, hidden deep in the yun vulture mountain gorge, is the key point of the ancient post road of Yunnan, and is also one of the best preserved "Tun Bao Cultural Villages" today.
The natural and quaint Yunshan Tun fort
▲ Mother stood in the 600-year-old Ming Dynasty left an ancient village, and after returning to the hotel, she immediately hand-painted a landscape painting of Yunshan Tunbao
In the village, through the streets and alleys, close to tuen Mun, city towers, wall, stepping on the ancient bluestone slab since the Ming and Qing dynasties, climbing the opera platform, the temple of wealth, touching the brick carving, stone carving, wood carving of the door tower window room, stepping into the shop house, I appreciated the most natural and simple ecological environment, personally felt the wisdom and culture of the ancestors. These objects are like living fossils, which confirm the long history and customs of the ancient town of Guizhou that my mother described to me before she died.
And today's development of urban construction in Guizhou also makes me applaud! Next to my residence " Dacheng Jingshe" is Guiyang Huaxi National Urban Wetland Park, which is known as a natural "big air conditioner". Natural landscapes, Ten Mile River Beach Wetland, wooden fence bridges along the river, we walk in the lotus beach and lush woods, enjoy the picturesque scenery. You can see the lotus flowers blooming, the lotus leaves are emerald green, the lotus flowers stand tall, and their roots are rooted under the water; the fish swim and forage, and the smart jumping is impressive. The sun is shining, the weather is good, the tourists are young and old, the couples are together, the lingering is unforgettable to choose the best scenery, and the photography is beautiful.
▲ Pleasant Huaxi Wetland Park, children and parents are lingering
Walk around the surrounding towns at night to fight the tooth festival, board the restaurant's dining room landscape room, inexpensive dishes, a variety of dishes, enough to make you dizzy, but often high eyes, low mouth, limited amount of food, each delicacy can only be tasted to satisfy the happiness. It's also a good idea to walk home. Night tour of the wetland, unique style, quiet road, watching the moon counting the stars, listening to the footsteps of frogs, smelling the aroma of rice flowers, facing the leaves fluttering, the night scene is vivid and sweet. A rare experience, a difficult mood.
▲ Mother walks among the green mountains and rivers, enjoying the picturesque scenery
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<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="131" > endless learning, more thinking and improving oneself</h1>
The villages of ethnic minorities such as Dongzhai and Miaozhai have a long history and culture and unique customs and customs. Such as the Miao paintings of Pingpo, the "batik" craft of Zhaoxing, the "divine doctors" of Zhanli Township, the terraces of the Tang'an Dong Ecological Museum, etc., embody the intelligent talents of the working people and deserve our pride. I also opened my eyes and enriched the cultural life of my later years, and the memories are endless!
▲ My mother watched the Hmong painters draw wax liquid with copper sharp knives and admired the exquisite skills
In Pingpo Miaozhai, I and a group of children "huddled" in a batik-making workshop, watching intently at a Miao painter holding a heated copper viscera knife, drunk ink and melted in wax liquid, drawing very fine lines on white blanks.
I was curious about this special drawing knife, I picked it up, and the "hot" feeling was immediately transmitted to the fingers, wow! I thought that I had taught myself to paint oil with a scraper, and the operation was quite unsatisfactory, and I felt that I could not control it as easily as a paintbrush.
I lamented that the Painter of Pingpo Miaozhai was so skilled in using knives and pencils, and the paintings created were beautiful. Especially when I knew that they had no professional training and that their inspiration was completely absorbed from the essence of nature, I was even more impressed.
Female painters paint mountains and water, paint people to paint the heavens and the earth, the contrast between cold and warm colors is strong, the creativity is exquisite, and they are fascinating; they also use fish and water patterns to form a face, which has a profound connotation, similar to the Picasso of the West, who wants to praise a sentence "It's amazing"!
I "greedily" collected exquisite paintings and brought them back to Shanghai to slowly copy them, enriching the joy of life, which was also one of the biggest gains of my trip.
▲ My mother was in Miaozhai Pingpo Village, and I couldn't stop seeing the paintings of Miaozhai's aunts
▲ Her mother was concentrating on batik, she made a batik bag, and returned to Shanghai to give to sean, the little grandson of the chicken
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<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="133" > share happiness and thank the younger generations for bringing me blessings</h1>
Summer camp is nearing the end, and everyone is busy preparing their luggage to say goodbye to each other. Interestingly, at this time, the fellow Teacher Rega brought me a birthday cake, but I did not hear which of the group members' birthdays. When I hurried to the hall of the "Dacheng Jingsha", I saw some of our teammates and children painting on the tables and chairs in the side hall. The assistant on the team said to me, "Grandma, you can paint too!" ”
Then the little girl came over and looked at me expectantly. I think that I am only the painting level of the old university, the basic skills are not solid, and there is no bottom with people who give paintings. But the assistant had prepared the pen and paint, really rushing the ducks to the shelves, I adjusted the color, and drew a blooming pink peony flower on the small round umbrella surface, and gave it to the cute tuantuan!
▲ Mother painted a large pink peony flower in full bloom and gave it to the lovely tuantuan
At this time, I learned that it was the birthday of the girl Luo Yuan, and I rushed to cardboard and Chinese painting paint, painted a national color Tianxiang peony flower, and wished Luo Yuan a happy birthday and a bright future!
▲ The mother painted a bright national color Tianxiang peony flower and wished Luoyuan children a happy birthday
It was the first time to paint a friend on the way to travel, and I was quite happy. I think that a chance encounter is fate, the gift of paintings is a good memory, and I can share happiness and thank the younger generations for their blessings.
With this article, thank you for the care and help of all the friends who accompanied the journey. In the support of everyone's unity and friendship, I feel that I am getting younger and younger; the little friends in the team are full of vitality, which also gives me the courage to persevere in walking, and I feel that the journey is not hard. I am so grateful to everyone for bringing me the strength and bringing me the greatest joy in my life!
▲ After returning to Shanghai, my mother drew a fan herself (below) in the style of Pingpo Miao's painting (above).