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<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > introduction</h1>
The film "Blue Valentine", directed by Derek Sian Frans, tells the story of Dean and Cindy are a couple in love, after quickly entering the palace of marriage, the sixth year of marriage has a rift in the relationship, they want to awaken love through "new stimulation", but they fail, without breaking the "seven-year itch" spell.
The atmosphere of the whole film is extremely depressing, giving people a strong sense of suffocation. "Love" is a seemingly beautiful word, as if it has the power to overcome everything. But life is "bloody", does not give anyone a chance to breathe, it constantly throws out one difficulty after another, and eventually love is easy to become a "victim" of life.
Arthur Schopenhauer said that people are born lonely. So many things still have to learn to take care of themselves.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > can love solve the problems in life? </h1>
Dean and Cindy's two people with vastly different educational backgrounds. Dean dropped out of high school, came from a poor background, had no stable job, and could only earn a living through manual labor, with little ideal ambition. Cindy is a college student, full of thirst for knowledge, a good family condition, and a desire to become a life-saving doctor.
Two people who are very different, but have some of the same experience, then the family is not happy. Dean's mother divorced his father when he was 10 years old and left them, and Cindy's parents quarreled over emotional discord.
The painful experience did not break the two people's beautiful expectations for love, but evolved into a deeper desire. They are all waiting for a pure love, and they all look forward to a happy marriage. So after a chance encounter, the two people felt that the soul was so compatible and they hurriedly married, but it lasted only six years.
Due to the influence of their original families, their views on love are not sound, but they simply hope to be saved in love, which is too one-sided and too idealistic.
The deformity of the growth environment makes it difficult for people to grow up healthily surrounded by love, but it has evolved into many hidden extreme thoughts. It may be their good fortune not to be deeply involved in the questioning and denial of love, but they have also fallen into the abyss of another extreme understanding.
They imagined love too full, without mutilation, and regarded this idealism of love as faith. And when love comes, hold on tightly, afraid of missing it, so it ushers in the tragic result of a hasty decision.
Su holmeslin once said in "Parental Pedagogy" that I can recognize such a child at a glance, and his parents are deeply, passionately, loyally, and dependent on each other. Vice versa, the two people can not see a little shadow of family happiness, growth gives them sensitive and suspicious, easy to give up the character.
The problem of the original family is a problem that always exists in life, just like the male and female protagonists in the movie, the personality problems brought about by the growth environment are deeply rooted. Dean's casual and negative attitude towards life, and Cindy's desperate desire to escape and break away from the marriage in the face of emotional problems, rather than solving and facing. The original "true love first" theory eventually deformed and deviated.
The beauty of love should not be completely denied, but it is not omnipotent, and it cannot solve the countless problems in life. When life is wrapped in difficulties, love cannot resist everything. It is necessary to establish a correct concept of love, grow in love, stimulate their expectations for life, cultivate responsibility in the face of problems, and support and achieve each other in order to make life better.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > how to face marriage and life? </h1>
After getting married, Cindy is too hard to work in the hospital to balance family and work, and Dean is very lazy about life. This makes Cindy's resentment towards him slowly accumulate, and she hopes to improve at work and live a better life, but Dean is not her ideal husband, he is a person who is extremely easy to settle for the status quo. Endless endurance and constant boredom have clouded the relationship.
Cindy ignores that Dean came into her life with such a character at the beginning, but in the accumulation of time, she is more concerned about life and her husband not becoming the way she longs for, and forgets the original intention. And Dean is also confined to his own loose attitude to life, not thinking about his hard wife.
After entering the palace of marriage, love changes from simple to complex, and the trivialities of life will break some or even all of the beauty. To make a relationship last, love is not enough.
As Wilde said: Love begins with self-deception and ends with deceiving others.
The harm of deceiving each other is far less profound than self-deception, which is a huge subversion of beliefs. Because I believe in the beauty of love for a long time, I think that life will become a flower that will never wither and wither. Later, this relationship made the quarrel tear open a small hole, and finally day after day was torn by life, beyond recognition.
Making progress together in a relationship is a good relationship. If you want stability and longevity, you must know how to pay attention to each other's changes in life and find problems in time. And learn to understand, identify, communicate, encourage, and seek the same pace in order to extend the shelf life of the marriage.
These efforts, in the final analysis, are self-improvement and deep understanding. Many moments have to jump out of the illusion of relationship creation, and how "I" is the fundamental way to make feelings and life develop. When you encounter problems, don't rush to complain about life and point out the faults of the other party, learn to self-reflect first. Only by discovering problems in one's own life and solving them in a timely manner can we meet a better life.
< h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > concluding remarks</h1>
The end of the movie does not explain the final ending of the two, leaving it to the audience to imagine. We don't know if Dean and Cindy can find the recognition that it is not enough to just have love, but also how to manage and tolerate. Just as the male and female protagonists in "Marriage Story" love each other deeply but still can't support each other to peacefully solve the problems given by life, people are sighing.
This film made me realize more deeply that life alone is not enough to rely on love. The expectations that love itself can bear are limited, and we should not desire the endless sacrifices of the other party or the problems that the other party can help us solve. Expectations should not be placed on anyone, and the steering wheel of life must be mastered by oneself to find the right direction.
The heaviness of life is not borne by love, and no attempt is labeled on love. I hope that we can all continue to improve ourselves, become more courageous and responsible people, and harvest the most sincere love and the best of ourselves.