In life, when you succeed, do you give credit to yourself or someone else? When you fail, do you blame others or yourself for your mistakes? Different people have different answers, but it has to be admitted that we always tend to attribute success to ourselves, and when looking for the reason for failure, we blame others for mistakes.
The protagonist of the movie "Little Hero Toto" is such a person, he blames the unfortunate encounters in life on his neighbor Alfred. Toto's life was unfortunate, when he was young, the pilot's father died unexpectedly, his sister died in the fire; when he grew up, Toto fell into a sweet love, but when they decided to elope, his girlfriend left Toto.
The first time I saw this movie, I also thought that fate was extremely unfair to Toto, and that he had suffered so many tragic things. But when I looked at it a second time, I realized that Toto's fate was caused by himself. Throughout his life, Toto lived under the influence of "self-interest deviation" and regarded himself as a victim, but when he was old, he suddenly realized that the culprit who caused his misfortune was himself.
What is "self-interest bias"? What are its manifestations? I will take Toto as an example and elaborate in the first part of the article; in the second part, I will combine "attribution theory" to talk about the deep causes of "self-interest bias"; at the end of the article, I will combine "Little Hero Toto" and psychological knowledge to talk about how we can avoid the negative effects of "self-interest bias".
Little Hero Toto movie poster
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >01, what exactly is the "self-interest bias" in Toto? This psychology will make people blame the cause of failure on the outside world and live a life with a "victim" mentality</h1>
American columnist Dave Barry once said:
No matter how different age, gender, creed, economic status, or race, there is one thing that all people have, and that is the belief in everyone's heart that we are better than ordinary people.
What Dave Barry is talking about is actually a kind of "self-interest bias", which is a self-defense mechanism for people to protect their self-esteem. People consciously or unconsciously think that they are better than ordinary people, habitually attribute the success factors to themselves, and blame the reasons for failure on others.
For example, when a child fails an exam, he might say, "The exam paper is too hard, instead of "I can't do it." Classifying the reason for not doing well in the exam as the difficulty of the exam paper can cover up the fact that you are not good enough on the one hand, and on the other hand, you can make excuses for carelessness and lack of effort.
"Self-interest bias" can be said to be an instinctive reaction of people. As long as mistakes are made and things are not done well, most people's first reaction is "not my reason", and then look for external factors that lead to this result. And after successfully accomplishing something, most people will attribute it internally and think, "I'm so good."
"Self-interest bias" is excusable, but if a person is often affected by "self-interest bias", he will be partial and comprehensive, unable to objectively look at the truth of the facts and self-ability. Over time, it is customary to excuse oneself, shirk responsibility, and in the process treat oneself as a victim and be trapped for a lifetime.
Childhood Toto and neighbor Alfred
So in "Little Hero Toto", how is Toto's "self-interest bias" reflected?
For a certain birthday, Alfred's birthday present was a toy car that could be sat and driven, while Toto's gift was a fist-sized model of the car. Toto attributed the unhappiness in his life to the fact that the two were mistakenly hugged in the hospital, and he should live Alfred's life.
Toto asked his sister Iris to burn down Alfred's supermarket to prove that her sister didn't love Alfred. Without saying a word, Iris took the gasoline barrel and went to Alfred's house, where she was killed in the fire. Toto blamed Alfred for his sister's unexpected death.
As an adult, Toto meets his beloved woman, Evelyn, and under Toto's pursuit, the two fall in love. But by chance, Toto discovers that Evelyn is married and that her husband is his former neighbor, Alfred. Toto complained again: Alfred ruined my life.
Under the influence of the "self-interest bias", Toto has been secretly fighting with his neighbor Alfred in his heart, and blames all failures and misfortunes on his neighbors, and has not found a reason in himself. Because of this, Toto has always held a grudge against the neighbor's family and lived in the shadows all his life.
In my opinion, in the face of an event, we choose to attribute the reason to ourselves or outsiders, which will affect our attitude towards handling things later. Over time, different ways of attributing affect our outlook on life and values. This is also why some people can find their own problems, correct and progress in time, while some people will only complain about others and stand still.
In real life, we encounter all kinds of things: smooth or unsatisfactory. Many people are inadvertently affected by the "self-interest bias", blame mistakes and problems on others, fall into the strange circle of thinking that they are "victims", and are depressed and panicked all day long. "Self-interest bias" has a great impact on people's lives and deserves everyone's attention.
Toto told Alfred that the two had been mediated in the hospital
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >02, why does Toto fall into "self-interest bias"? Through "attribution theory" and "attribution bias", understand the deep causes of this psychology</h1>
When most people fail, they tend to look for reasons from the outside. This is because the subconscious of man is to serve himself. Attributing the cause of failure to external factors can cover up your own lack of ability and, to a certain extent, maintain self-esteem and self-confidence.
When Toto saw that his family was in average condition, his father died unexpectedly, while his neighbor Alfred was well-off and wanted something. He has a sense of imbalance in his heart, but he is not able to change the status quo, so he attributes the reason for his unsatisfactory life to "being held wrong in the hospital at birth".
When her sister Iris accidentally loses her life because of Toto's unreasonable request, Toto is unable to rescue her sister and blames Alfred.
Toto has an affair with Alfred's wife Evelyn, and toto is helpless to say goodbye to Evelyn, and can only complain again that his life has been ruined by Alfred.
To put it bluntly, Toto will fall into "self-interest bias", mainly because he is unable to improve his unsatisfactory life, but if you look for reasons from yourself, you are admitting your incompetence. So, in order to cover up his incompetence, he attributed the blame to Alfred. Inadvertently, Toto distorts the truth and remains immersed in the illusion of his own creation, unwilling to come out.
Toto asks her sister to prove that she doesn't love Alfred
In fact, the problems that arise in Toto are mainly affected by the way he attributes them. The social psychologist Hyde proposed the theory of attribution in 1958, arguing that:
There are no more than two causes of events: one is internal factors, such as emotions, attitudes, personality, abilities, etc.; the other is external factors, such as external pressure, weather, situations, etc. The average person tends to attribute personality when explaining the behavior of others; when explaining their own behavior, they tend to attribute situational attribution.
For example, a person who is late for work tends to attribute situations when explaining, such as traffic jams and not being able to get a car on a rainy day, rather than finding the reason from themselves. Conversely, if someone is late for a date with him, he tends to attribute personality, such as the other person's lack of respect for himself, the lack of attention to this date, and so on.
From Hyde's theory of attribution, we can see that for our own bad behavior, we often like to find reasons from the outside world. This is also the reason why Toto fell into the "self-interest bias". In addition, psychologists have put forward a deeper point of view on the basis of Hyde: the attribution bias between actors and observers.
The actor's attribution of himself is different from the attribution of others to this behavior. Although both sides recognize the same behavior, actors tend to attribute success to individuals and failures to situations; observers attribute successes more to situations and failures to personal traits.
Again, if we are late, then as actors, we attribute the cause of failure to the situation (rain, traffic jam, etc.); if others are late, as observers, we tend to attribute the cause of failure to personal traits (disrespect, lack of attention, procrastination, etc.).
For another example, taking a good exam as an example, when explaining that we have done well in the exam, as an actor, we will attribute the cause to ourselves (study hard, be serious and smart, etc.); if others do well, as observers, we will classify the cause as a situation (good luck). This is mainly because actors and observers view events from different perspectives and attitudes.
Like Toto in "Little Hero Toto", when he faces the failure he encounters, as an actor, he tends to attribute the cause to the external situation, believing that Alfred ruined his life.
In life, we are prone to fall into "attribution bias", so when we encounter something and evaluate an event, we must look at it comprehensively from different angles. Avoid situations where generalizations are partial because of "attribution bias". Only by standing in a different perspective can we look at others and ourselves more objectively.
Toto and sister Iris
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >03, how can we avoid the negative effects of "self-interest bias"? Combining Little Hero Toto with real-life examples, three approaches are shared</h1>
"Self-interest bias" can have a lot of adverse effects on our lives. What can we do to avoid falling into "self-interest bias"? Here, I combine toto and psychology to provide you with three methods:
1. Jump out of the "confirmation bias" and break the self-assumptions
Confirmation bias refers to:
Once people have formed a priori beliefs, they consciously seek out evidence that supports or is conducive to confirming their beliefs, and sometimes even artificially distorts new evidence. In this case, not only do people avoid the pain of regret, but the support of these evidences for their beliefs adds to their "overconfidence."
For example, if Bob thinks that his tablemates hate him, he will deliberately look for evidence to support his point of view. The fact that Xiaoming left first without waiting for Xiaoming to leave school at the same table, and encountering Xiaoming in the corridor without taking the initiative to greet him, may become evidence that Xiaoming supports his own views. But in fact, no matter how much relevant evidence Xiaoming looks for, it cannot support the assumption that the table hates Xiaoming.
Like Toto in Little Hero Toto, from childhood, he assumed that he and Alfred had exchanged lives, and felt that his life had been ruined by Alfred. In the years that followed, Toto was looking for something to support his hypothesis. "Confirmation bias" exacerbates the negative effects of "self-interest bias" to a certain extent, and people caught up in self-assumptions are often unable to realize their problems.
Therefore, in order to be unaffected by the "self-interest bias", we must first jump out of the "confirmation bias". In life, don't distort the facts, don't support a senseless hypothesis. Only by breaking the self-assumptions will we not look for one-sided evidence, and will we not find excuses for our pain and failure.
Toto speaks with Alfred
2. Adjust your emotions and break the "Mustang Ending"
The Wild Horse ending refers to the fact that if you are angry and irritable because of small things, you will eventually hurt yourself. The Mustang ending tells us that what happens in the outside world does not actually hurt us, and what really hurts us is our own attitude and emotions towards these events.
In "Little Hero Toto", Alfred's family is well-off or poor, these are external events that have nothing to do with Toto himself, and they cannot cause harm to Toto. However, in the face of Alfred, Toto's jealousy is at work, and he blames Alfred for his bad life. Because of some unwarranted small things, he made a big fuss and eventually ruined his life.
In life, we inevitably encounter unhappy and unsatisfactory things, and if we calculate everywhere, our emotions will definitely become irritable. Under the emotional instability, most of the statements we make and the decisions we make are not objective and unreasonable.
Therefore, in order not to be affected by the "self-interest bias", we must adjust our mentality when facing dissatisfaction. Avoid being too emotionally agitated, and do not analyze the cause of the event in the case of emotional instability, because at this time, we are often prone to blame others, or blindly deny ourselves, which is not advisable.
As a child, Toto sat alone on the couch
3. Skillfully use the "sour grape" psychology and the "sweet lemon" psychology to balance reality and expectations
The "sour grape" mentality refers to the self-consolation of what we cannot get, and we will say that it is "sour". The "sweet lemon" psychology is the opposite of the "sour grape" psychology, which means that for things that we can't get rid of, we tend to say that it is "sweet".
At first glance, both of these psychologies are self-deception, but they are not. If you combine the two and achieve a clever conversion, there will be a magical effect. Let us neither indulge in envy of others nor live in blindly optimistic self-consolation.
Toto has always been envious of the life of his neighbors, but to Toto's surprise, Alfred says he envies Toto's life. Because Toto has always been free and can do whatever he wants. If Toto can adjust his mentality, skillfully use the "sour grape" psychology, and regard Alfred's family, wealth, and social status as "sour grapes", he can overcome his unreasonable expectations. Similarly, if Toto can use the "sweet lemon" mentality skillfully and look more optimistically at what he has, he may be able to accept himself and change his life. If reality and expectations could be balanced, Toto might not fall into "self-interest bias."
Everyone is born differently and has a very different kind of thing. If we blindly envy others and turn a deaf ear to what we have, our happiness will decrease. Therefore, you may wish to try to use the "sour grape" psychology to see those things that are unattainable, and appropriately reduce psychological expectations; use the "sweet lemon" psychology to see what we already have, so as to obtain self-satisfaction. If we can balance reality and expectation, we will not blindly blame others and take the credit.
Toto, his sister, and his brother were watching TV
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > written at the end:</h1>
In life, we encounter all sorts of things, good or bad, success or failure. It is important that we jump out of the surface of the event and deeply and objectively analyze the internal and external factors that occur in the event. Only by rationally looking at one's own shortcomings and maintaining a clear understanding of oneself can one be protected from the influence of "self-interest bias".
In order to let everyone avoid the adverse effects of "self-interest bias", I combine the cases around me and psychological knowledge to provide three methods: jump out of the "confirmation bias" and break the self-assumptions; adjust the emotions and break the "wild horse ending"; and skillfully use the "sour grape" psychology and the "sweet lemon" psychology to balance reality and expectations. Hope that helps.