Others are strange, and I myself am strange: I have written so many articles recalling my teachers and friends, and I have left out Mr. Chen Yinke. Why is that? For me, there is a reason for this, and there is evidence for the investigation. I still read Mr. Chen's articles a lot to this day, and I assist in publishing his complete works. Of course, I think of Mr. YinKe from time to time. I'm a person who likes to dance pen and ink, and I want to write a reminiscence article. But my recollection of my husband, which I consider to be extraordinarily precious, extraordinaryly sacred. I hope that my article will not tarnish the sacredness of this point, so I dare not write it. Today, Peking University Publishing House wants to publish my "Nostalgia Collection", and it has reached a time when I can't write it.
If we want to talk about my relationship with Mr. Yin Ke, we should start from Tsinghua University 65 years ago. In 1930, I was admitted to the Department of Western Literature at National Tsinghua University (I don't know when it was renamed the Department of Foreign Chinese Literature). The Department of Western Literature has a complete teaching plan, and the compulsory courses are well-organized and complete. However, the time left for electives is very rich, in addition to electives, you can also observe or eavesdrop, teachers do not think that, students have their own pleasure. I have listened to the lectures of Mr. Zhu Ziqing, Yu Pingbo, Zheng Zhenduo and others, and they are all safe and sound, and thus I have established a lifelong friendship with Mr. Zheng Zhenduo. But not everything was all smooth sailing. I went with a group of students to observe Mr. Bingxin's class. She was extremely young and famous all over the world. We went there. Mr. Bingxin was full of solemnity and did not smile, seeing that the class was crowded with so many students, he knew that there was "deception", so Wei Yi suddenly issued an "eviction order": "Those who do not take this course are not allowed to come back in the next class!" We listened in horror and retreated, never daring to enter the classroom where she lectured again. More than forty years later, I was reunited with Bingxin, and she had become a kind and kind old man, from an angry-eyed Vajra to a Bodhisattva with a kind eyebrow. I talked to her about her "eviction" in the past, and she had completely forgotten that we looked at each other and laughed.
It was at this time that I sat in on Mr. Yin Ke's "Literature on the Translation of Buddhist Scriptures." The reference book uses the Six Ancestral Altar Sutras, and I once went to a big temple in the city to buy this book. In his lectures, as he wrote articles, Master Yin Ke first wrote the necessary materials on the blackboard, and then explained, examined, analyzed, and synthesized according to the materials, and paid special attention to place names and personal names. His analysis is meticulous, such as peeling banana leaves, peeling more and more fine, peeling deeper and deeper, but a spirit of seeking truth from facts, not arbitrary, not exaggerated, not distorted, constantly taking meaning, he seems to guide us to walk on the mountain vagina, circling and twisting, the mountains are heavy and the water is repeated, the willows are dark and bright, and finally suddenly enlightened, leading us to the Yangguan Avenue. Reading his articles and listening to his lectures is simply a kind of enjoyment, an incomparable enjoyment. Among the many scholars at home and abroad, the only one who can give me this kind of enjoyment is Heinrich Lüders abroad, and there is only one Chen Shi in China, who has been publicly promoted by scholars at home and abroad as a master of examination, which is completely deserved. However, in the vast forest, it is rare to understand people, and some so-called "scholars" who have confused scholars with their tongues like springs are arrogant and arrogant, and they cannot help but sigh. This style of study of Master Yin Ke has influenced my whole life. Later, when he went to Germany, he read Professor Luders' books and was taught and influenced by his disciple Professor Waldschmidt. Unfortunately, his learning is barren and limited to talent, although he cannot say that he has gained nothing, but it is like a thin stream compared to the sea, empty of the heart of admiration, in vain to increase the hatred of the qi. This is only my own fault, no one else' fault.
In short, I spent four years at Tsinghua, read all the compulsory courses in the Department of Western Literature, got a bachelor's title, and now in retrospect, I will say a word of impoliteness: I have gained little from these courses, the famous European writers, what Shakespeare, Goethe, Cervantes, Molière, Dante, etc. have read, even the now suddenly fashionable "Ulysses" and "Remembrance of The Water Age" and so on have also been read, but most of them are flashy and not in-depth, The classes that left a lasting impression on me were instead an audit class and an elective course. The former is the "Buddhist sutra translation literature" mentioned above by Yin Keshi; the latter is Mr. Zhu Guangqian's "literary and artistic psychology", that is, aesthetics. I have already talked about the latter elsewhere, and I will not dwell on them here.
Leaving Mizuki Qinghua, I had a long-term separation from Mr. Yin Ke. I taught Chinese in Jinan for a year before going to the University of Göttingen in Germany. Only then did I start learning Sanskrit, Pali and Tocharian. This was a crucial turning point in my life's path. I said goodbye to Goethe and Shakespeare and dealt with Shakyamuni and Maitreya Buddha. Needless to say, this transformation came from the influence of Mr. Yin Ke. It is no coincidence that my German teacher, Professor Waldschmitt, and Mr. Yinke are classmates at the University of Berlin, and they are also students of Professor Luders. In this way, my two Chinese and German teachers were under the same teacher. Someone said, "Famous teachers make high disciples." "My teachers and teachers are not "famous", but my disciple is too "high". Lining the door wall, it is humiliating. But in any case, this is a good story in the Sino-German academic circle.
My ten years in Göttingen coincided with world war II, the most spiritually painful of my life but the most academically rewarding. The country was invaded by foreigners, the family had no news for many years, there were aircraft bombing, and there was no food to eat. However, reading without any interference. Professors and students were often conscripted into the army. The two great institutes, the Institute of Indology and the Institute of Sinology, are under my sole control. Tens of thousands of precious books are on the shelves for me to flip through. In the deep courtyard of the Institute of Sinology, in the tall and gloomy library, in the ancient research room of the Institute of Sanskrit Studies, there is no one. The hum of the plane in the sky corresponds to the sound of hunger in my belly, and when I close my eyes, I think of it, and I see my country, I see my home, and I see my country, and I have many difficult problems that need to be repeated. I am in a trance at this time, independent, bitter? Le Chuang? I can't answer that myself.
After a bombed purgatory, and after starvation, in 1945, ten years after I came to Göttingen, I finally looked forward to the light, and the fascists of the East and the West collapsed. Americans captured Göttingen first, then the British took over. At this time, I learned that Mr. Yin Ke was ill in England, and I quickly wrote a long letter to him to report to him on my ten years of study, and sent some papers that I had published in the journal of the Academy of Sciences in Göttingen and other journals. Unexpectedly quickly, I received a reply from my husband, also a long letter, telling me about his recent situation and saying that I would return to China soon. The most important thing in the letter is to say that he wants to introduce me to Hu Shi, the president of Peking University, Fu Sinian, the acting president, and Tang Yongtong, the dean of literature, to teach at Peking University. I immediately wrote back, agreeing and thanking you.
In the late autumn of that year, I finally bid farewell to Göttingen, where I had lived for ten years, and with the mood of "looking back at the guest tree to become my hometown", I went back to Switzerland step by step. Stayed in this beautiful world park for a few months. In the spring of 1946, after passing through Saigon in France and Vietnam, and then through Hong Kong, he returned to Shanghai. Stayed on the tatami mats of the Ke family for a while. From Shanghai to Nanjing, and slept on Changzhi's desk, at this time, Mr. Yin Ke had returned to Nanjing from England. I once met Mr. Yu Dawei in his official residence. After talking about the details of the more than ten years of separation, Mr. Fu was very happy, and told me to go to the Central Research Institute under Jiming Temple to meet Mr. Fu Sinian, the acting president of Peking University, and specially instructed me to bring my papers written in German, which shows the depth of my love and care for me and the meticulousness of his heart.
In the late autumn of that year, I returned to Shanghai from Nanjing, took a ship to Qinhuangdao, and then took a train from Qinhuangdao to Beijing (then called Beiping) after a 12-year absence.
I don't remember when, Master Yin Ke also came to Beijing and still lives in Tsinghua Garden. I immediately went to Tsinghua to meet him. At that time, it took some twists and turns to get from Beijing to Tsinghua, like a short trip. The road is full of farmland for dozens of miles. In the autumn, there are really green forest people blocking the road and robbing, and it is difficult for young people to imagine now. However, with Mr. YinKe present, I would never be afraid of such a trip. In three years, I have been to Tsinghua Garden many times, I know that My husband is old and frail, and I like the fence red wine made by the Catholic foreign priests who lived in Beijing the most, and I have gone to the basement of the priests' ashram where the Party School of the Municipal Party Committee is located today to buy fence red wine several times, and then traveled a long way to Tsinghua Garden and delivered it to Mr. Li's hands, and I felt quite comforted in my heart. A few bottles of wine are nothing now, but at a time when inflation had reached a time when the daily addition of zero to the banknotes could not keep up with the rapid increase in prices, a few bottles of wine were no small feat.
One spring, the vines in Zhongshan Park were full of purple flowers, hanging down and full of purple gas, attracting many tourists and bees. A group of our disciples, remembering that there were Monday Liang, Wang Yongxing, Wang Qi, etc., knew that Mr. Zhou loved flowers. Although he is now suffering from eye disease and is close to blindness, according to his own words, some things can still be seen in the shadows. The purple light of a large number of vines and roses, sir, may still be visible. Moreover, in the case of chaos, soaring prices, dangerous lives, and no worries, we would like to ask Mr. To relax and ask for his opinion, and he will happily agree. We were really overjoyed, and in the depths of the Yuxuan vine, we found a tea table where Mr. Waiter could watch the wisteria. The gentleman was obviously in high spirits. We laughed and laughed and dispersed. I think this was perhaps the most enjoyable moment in his years of that kind.
Mr. Chen Yinke, who suffered from eye diseases in his later years
Another thing that also left me with memories that I will never forget. On the eve of liberation, the government economy had completely collapsed. From legal tender to silver dollar coupons, and from silver dollar coupons to gold dollar coupons, the more chaotic it became, and later, when I went to the grain store to buy a few pounds of grain, the weight of the money and the coupons I carried sometimes exceeded the grain itself. Mr. Chen Yinke, a titan of academia, who is highly respected and called "professor of professors" by the famous historian Mr. Zheng Tianting, is no exception. In the winter, he didn't even have the money to buy coal for heating, so I told Mr. Hu Shizhi, the president of Peking University, who had already returned to China. Mr. Hu most respects and cherishes the intellectuals who have achieved success. At that time, he introduced Mr. Wang Jing'an to teach at the Tsinghua Institute of Chinese Studies, which was a good story for a while. Mr. Yin Ke has a few poems in the "Elegy of Mr. Wang Guantang": "Lu Lian Huang Harrier Ji Xi Hu, alone for the Shenzhou Pity Daru." The college has heard that the industry is out of business, and the garden is almost happy to live in seclusion", which is about this one thing. Now it was Mr. Shizhi's turn to once again "cherish the Great Confucian for the Divine State", and this "Great Confucian" was no one else, but Mr. Yin Ke himself. Mr. Shizhi wanted to give Mr. Yin Ke a considerable amount of dollars. However, Mr. Yin Ke refused to accept it. In the end, Mr. Yin Ke decided to sell the books to get Mr. Shizhi's dollars, so Mr. Shizhi sent his own car—by the way, at that time, Beijing cars were extremely rare, and Peking University only had one for the president—and asked me to go to Mr. Chen's house at Tsinghua to load a cart of extremely precious books on Buddhism and ancient Central Asian languages in Western Languages. Mr. Chen only received $2,000. Although this number was not small at the time, it was still insignificant compared with the book. In this batch of books, the market price of only one "St. Petersburg Van Der Grand Dictionary" far exceeds this number. This batch of books actually has the nature of a donation. And Yin Keshi's unworthy personality of money can also be seen.
During these three years, I had a lot of contacts with Yin Keshi. I wrote a paper, "The Floating Tu and the Buddha," which I first read to him and wanted to hear his criticism. Unexpectedly, I was appreciated by him. He introduced this article to the "Collection of History and Languages of the Academia Sinica" for publication. This publication was the most authoritative publication at that time, and it was simply a bit of a "once you board the dragon gate, the price is ten times as high". Naturally, I felt flattered. Fortunately, my conclusions were not blind, and a few decades later, I wrote another article entitled "Revisiting the Floating Tu and the Buddha", using a large number of new materials to reiterate the previous statement, which was quite praised by my peers in the academic circles.
In the years that I have been dealing with my husband, we have certainly talked about many topics. Politics is not the least discussed, but it is rare. Mr. Yin Ke is by no means a nerd who "reads only the books of the sages behind closed doors", he has inherited the fine tradition of the Chinese "scholars": the world rises and falls, and the pi fu has the responsibility. As can also be seen from his writings, he was very concerned about politics. When he studied the history of the Sui and Tang Dynasties, on the surface it seemed to be full of research, and in his bones he talked about political issues of success or failure, but it was a pity that it was difficult to understand people. When we talk about contemporary scholarship, he certainly has his own opinion on every scholar. But he didn't say something disparaging to anyone except to one Ming historian. For young scholars, it is really awe-inspiring to talk only about their merits and to love young scholars. Even the scholar who specifically attacked him because of a misunderstanding, and even said something ugly, Master Chen never said half a word of praise or criticism. Sir's virtue can be seen from this. Mr. Lu Xun never attacked young people, and the difference was comparable.
Chen Yinke in his later years
Time is like electricity, personnel vicissitudes, and in the blink of an eye, it is the end of 1948. The People's Liberation Army surrounded the city of Beijing, and President Hu Shi sent a special plane from Nanjing to pick up a few professors to Nanjing, and there was a list. Most of the famous people on the list did not leave, and Mr. Chen Yinke left, which has become the topic of discussion and research for some people: Does Mr. Chen have an opinion on the Communist Party? Is he nostalgic for the Kuomintang? According to the diary of Mr. Pu Jiangqing, which was later published, Mr. Yin Ke was not opposed to communism, he was only opposed to Soviet communism. At the time, this was perhaps a strange idea, or even a rebellious one. However, today, the truth has been revealed to the world, shouldn't we express our admiration for his wisdom? As for his attitude toward the Kuomintang, it was most obviously manifested in his attitude toward Chiang Kai-shek. In 1940, he wrote in the poem "Gengchen Late Spring Chongqing Night Feast Guizuo": "The clam that eats the world knows the affairs of the world, and the flowers are worried about the highest building." Mr. Wu Mi commented on this poem: "Yin Ke went to Chongqing to attend the meeting of the Academia Sinica, and Yu Dawei's sister Zhang's house. Jiang Gong invited the Academia Sinica to the meeting. Yin Ke saw Jiang Gong for the first time in the middle of the seat, and deeply felt that he was not enough to be a person, and he had a negative position, so he had the sixth sentence of this poem. Press the sentence "Look at the flowers near the highest building". Yin Keshi's attitude toward Chiang Kai-shek and, it can also be said, toward the Kuomintang could not have been clearly expressed. However, a few years ago, a Taiwanese scholar sought an excerpt from the chapter and said that Mr. Yin Ke had long intended to go to Taiwan. This is really a big strange thing in the world.
In 1951, I was instructed to accompany a Chinese cultural delegation to India and Burma. I stayed in Guangzhou for quite a long time, preparing to translate all the important speeches into English. Of course, I will not let go of this opportunity, I went to the home of Mr. Yin Ke of Lingnan University to pay respects, and I was very happy to see each other, and Master Chen was also attentive to hospitality. Although Master Chen's eyes were getting worse and worse at this time, he could still see the white things in front of him. The relevant leaders, it is said that Chen Yi and Tao Zhu, ordered people to pave a white road on the grass in front of Mr. Lou's building, and the road was full of green grass, and the turquoise and snow white reflected each other for Mr. Chen's walk. From this small incident, we can also see the sincerity of our country's respect for Master Chen. Chen Shi is a person with great feelings, can he feel nothing about it?
Chen Yinke and his family
However, the world is like a white cloud and a dog, unpredictable. Soon after liberation, just when many old intellectuals were elated and their passion was not extinguished, canopy luck came to the head. One movement after another, all aimed at intellectuals. After approving the "Biography of Martial Arts", approving Yu Pingbo, approving Yu Pingbo, approving Hu Shi, all the way batch, batch, batch, dou, dou, dou, and finally approved to Chen Yinke's head. At this time, the extremely large-scale anti-Rightist struggle throughout the country had not yet begun. On reflection in old age, I am a fool in politics, and I am satisfied with this series of criticisms and fights, and I do not feel that there is anything wrong with it. Although I did not explicitly realize that in the depths of my soul, I really thought that the old Chinese intellectuals were the embodiment of "original sin", and criticism was taken for granted. However, once it was approved on the head of Mr. Chen Yinke, I felt that it was not a taste in my heart. Despite repeated mobilizations, I never participated in this farcical chorus. I didn't want to be thick-skinned and act as zhuge liang after the fact, and my understanding at that time was also very vague, but after all, I didn't act. Now times have passed, and after 40 years, I think that I have not betrayed my conscience, and I am almost able to masturbate, and I can be worthy of the spirit of the teacher in heaven.
However, from then until the teacher was tortured to death in 1969 in an unprecedented catastrophe, I did not see him again for nearly 20 years. Now that I am five years older than he was alive, I am considered a shouden elderly. Now I often read my husband's poems. Every time I read it, I feel that there is a new harvest. I was clearly aware that I had not yet been able to ascend to his throne. Philosophers withered and wrote in vain. But I was enterprising and enterprising, please benefit no one, so I increased my nostalgia for him. Although we are not relatives, I sometimes have the sorrow of wind and wood. This is probably also very natural.
I have reached the ninth year of Wang, although it seems that there will be a long way to go before I leave to draw the end of my life, and I cannot summarize it now, but after all, I have reached a time when my life is getting thin and my life is in danger, and it is impossible not to think about this. I have been through several dynasties and endured countless hardships. Now I only feel that the road behind me is long and boundless, but the road in front of me is getting shorter and shorter, and it is already very limited. I didn't rely on the old and sell the old, but I clearly realized that I had become a "tragic" figure. My tragedy is not that I don't want to "not have to whip myself up", I don't want to "old Ji Futuo, ambition is in a thousand miles", but in "Old Ji Futuo, ambition is in ten thousand miles". The work that I am now undertaking or being forced to undertake is varied, varied, complicated, and sometimes contradictory, and has long exceeded my own load and exceeded my age. There are external causes, but mainly internal causes. Qing Ye asked himself: Are you crazy when you are old? Do you still have a hundred years of life in front of you? However, as soon as it comes to daytime, as soon as you come into contact with reality, you want to push everything away, but you can't push everything away, it's like a sentence in Peking Opera: "The horse line is in the middle of the road, and it is difficult to return to the horse." "The taste of this, only I can understand, it is not enough for outsiders."
In such situations, I sometimes can't help but think back on my life. How should I evaluate my life? Although I have suffered disasters large and small, disasters as Chinese people as unprecedentedly stupid as the "Ten Years of Catastrophe", and I am unfortunate — or "fortunate" to have taken my own life, I still feel fortunate that I have caught up with many unexpected opportunities. Let me give you just one small example. Since Pangu opened the world, a kamikaze has blown from nowhere, blowing out the special race of intellectuals. Intellectuals have many characteristics. Economically and materially, it is a word of "poverty", which has been strong since ancient times and is strong in the present. In terms of spirit, there are many exams. Here, too, it has been since ancient times, and it is fierce today. Examples are everywhere, and there is no need to dwell on them. I have taken the exam myself for a lifetime, from primary school, middle school, university, all the way to studying abroad, monthly exams, quarterly exams, and what national exams, the exam is a mess. However, in hundreds of examinations at home and abroad, I have never been left behind. Can you say this is not an opportunity well?
But, as the saying goes, "One fence three piles, one good man three gangs." "If no one helps, one will get nothing done. I also had a very fortunate opportunity. The people who have helped me in my life have no worries about hundreds. If I were to name a person, I would like to mention two people abroad, one is my doctoral dissertation supervisor, Professor Waldschmitt, and the other is Professor Sieck, a teacher who teaches Tocharian language. There are four people in China: one is Mr. Feng Youlan, and without him signing a German Tsinghua exchange graduate school with Germany, I would not have been able to go to Germany at all. One is Mr. Hu Shizhi, the other is Mr. Tang Yongtong, if it were not for their support, I would not have come to Peking University at all. Last but not least, is Mr. Chen Yinke. Without his influence, I would not have embarked on the path of governance that I am taking now, and I would not have been able to come to Peking University. As for why he didn't introduce me to my alma mater, Tsinghua, but to Peking University, I never asked him, and I'm afraid it will always be a mystery, and we won't talk about it.
I am not an ungrateful person. I have always believed that gratitude is one of the fundamental principles of being a human being. But how do I "repay" the four of them, and the many mentors who have helped me? As far as Master Yin Ke is concerned, I can only study his works hard, try to publicize his academic achievements, and try to help the publishing house to complete and do a good job in his entire collection. I am deeply grateful to the school leaders and the leaders of the Department of History of Sun Yat-sen University in Guangzhou, who have repeatedly held Mr. Yin Ke's academic seminars, including foreign scholars. CUHK also specially established the Chen Yinke Memorial Hall. All this, my disciple of Mr. Yin Ke, saw in his eyes, felt it in his heart, and felt great comfort. There is no problem in the increasing number of scholars studying Mr. Chen Yinke at home and abroad, and Mr. Chen's moral articles will surely be carried forward day by day. It was the greatest pleasure I could have in my twilight years.
However, I still have my personal thought problems and emotional problems. I am now a "person who has seen the comers", but I have "never seen the ancients before", and I will never see Mr. Yin Ke again. I felt an infinite loneliness in my heart, an emptiness that could not be filled in any way. Throwing a long sigh, I can't help but burst into tears.
[Article source: "How far can the truth go" by Ji Xianlin]