Wen | Wen'er
Generally speaking, the age at home and abroad is set at eighteen years old when children can be independent. That is, after the age of eighteen, your children can soar alone in the sky outside, but are all children having independent capital at this time? Actually, not quite. If you are a person with a heart, you will find that there are many "giant babies" around you. Not to mention eighteen, some people reach the age of twenty-eight or even thirty-eight, and they are still under the shadow of their parents.
Petite mother is a very careful person, since marrying into the in-laws' family, she found her father-in-law very "ridiculous", how ridiculous? This fifty or sixty-year-old man relies on his mother-in-law for everything, not only that, the father-in-law sometimes does not match his age, to put it bluntly, like a child, once, even put the delicate lollipop into his mouth, the petite mother told the husband what he observed, but the husband said disapprovingly: "So what?" We have long found that the father is a person who is not mature in psychological development, so many years, no matter how big or small things in the family, are solved by the mother, saying that they have raised two of our children, it is better to say that my mother brought three children. ”
This father-in-law is actually a typical "giant baby", don't look at the age of a lot, but in the mentality but not the transition is good. It is said that the mother-in-law of this family is usually relatively strong. However, when encountering such a husband, the woman can no longer do it, and the family will perish. Their marriage was created in that relatively ancient era, and if it is now, I am afraid that it will be difficult for a character like the father-in-law to find a daughter-in-law.
▲Parental cognition
Any child who has reached the age of independence and does not have a piece of his own sky has no doubt that there is a father or mother with cognitive problems behind him. Just like Xiao Ling, all twenty-seven or eight, and often give her mother a spoil, it is reasonable to say that this age has been very mature, but Xiao Ling is still very naïve in her mentality, and her mother, always treats her as a child, always spoiled, not let her bear any small things, once the family store let Xiao Ling watch alone, something happened, Xiao Ling's mother did not look for reasons in her, but said to others: "Alas, do not complain about Xiao Ling, she is still a child!" Hearing this, everyone else was stunned. Twenty-seven or eight, not only can not take care of their own affairs, but also by their parents as children.
▲ Too much concern for children
All such families have one thing in common, that is, the parents are too concerned about their children and care too much, even if he reaches a certain age. Parents do not realize that the child is just a continuation of their own life, he came into this world through you, at home is just a process, sooner or later will come to society. Parents who can really think about their children should not only provide materials for their children when they are young, but also spiritually encourage their children to be independent earlier. Because, parents should think that when the child will leave your wings sooner or later, if, you care too much about the child, let the child reach a certain age, there is no independent space. Then, if this continues, sooner or later it will become a "giant baby".
Such a statement is not alarmist. In fact, even the parents of those "giant babies" do not want their children to become like this. As parents, who doesn't want their children to make a difference? Who doesn't want their children to stand tall? Who doesn't want their children to be praised by others? It is precisely because of some inappropriate practices of parents that this phenomenon has occurred. How can this be avoided? See:
(1) When it is time to let go, let go
When a child is young, parents should regard him as an independent individual. Yes, children are young, but even so, they have their own consciousness and cognition. As a parent, you should understand this, so everything should be cultivated from a young age, and when the child is a child, you must slowly teach him the ability to fight the wind and waves, perhaps, you are reluctant to let the child suffer. However, you must know that if you do not let your child suffer the hardships of life now, in the future, you will fall on the way forward, and you will not be able to handle your child for a lifetime, so that your child will become an independent "waste" in your subconscious in the future. So if you're a wise parent and don't tie your child firmly to the waistband of your pants, let it go!
(2) Firmly guide the child
When your child is older, he will be out of your arms. When he is eighteen, you will have to cut off his dependence on you to a certain extent. Of course, mother and child are connected, not that you have nothing to do with your children. Instead, let you firmly put your child outside. Perhaps, the child leaves your arms, at the beginning of the moment, will not adapt, you can point out the direction of the child's struggle in the mind, or teach the child your understanding of this society. But only to point out, not to still hold him in your arms. In fact, every child is very potential, perhaps, you are not at ease with the fledgling child, but as long as you bravely let the child be refined, I believe that the child will give you a satisfactory answer.
This topic is actually a cliché, no one complains, only complains that our parents love us too much, poor parents in the world! But excessive love is actually harmful, in order to stay away from this special "harm", I hope that parents in the world will really think about their children and support their children to truly find themselves!
Senior nursery teacher, psychological counselor, author of original parenting comic articles, welcome to pay attention to [Little Fart Baby], you want to know about family education, mental health, child development, fashion education, you can find the answer here!