Marriage is not only a union of two people, but also a combination of two families and two families.
And this may give rise to some family problems, because the husband and wife have known each other for a long time, but the family may not be.
Therefore, it is inevitable that there will be various bumps and bumps in life, which will lead to various misunderstandings, unhappiness, and even quarrels or physical conflicts between family members.
A "new" type of married life is emerging
In many people's traditional understanding, when a new family is successfully formed, the heroine of the family must "wife as husband", and in front of the elderly of both parties, she must also "serve in place", which is a traditional family concept.
However, due to the different times now, young people's thinking is more advanced, and the cognitive gap between them and the elderly is getting wider and wider.
Therefore, there may be a lot of misunderstandings and contradictions in life, which also means that the traditional married life is probably not suitable for the modern society.
As a simple example, during the Chinese New Year, Xiao Qi and his wife, who were working hard in other places, wanted to go home for the Spring Festival, but when it came to whose house to go back to for the Spring Festival, the two people had different opinions, because one of the two people's homes was in the south and one was in the north, and it was impossible for the two people to be separated for the New Year.
Xiao Qi thinks that going home for the New Year must be to go back to the man's house, which is a long-standing tradition, if you don't go back during the New Year, maybe the neighbors will chew the root of their tongues.
But Xiao Qi's wife felt that she had to go back to her parents' house for the New Year, because she had gone to her mother-in-law's house during the New Year before, and she couldn't see her parents every year.
Such a situation is actually very common in life, and because two people disagree, there are many examples of unhappy breakups in the end, and some families even have a relatively large conflict because of this.
But under the "new" lifestyle of couples, this kind of family conflict is difficult to occur:
Husband and wife will negotiate the best plan, such as going to the man's house this year, going to the woman's house next year, such as taking the elderly on both sides to celebrate the New Year together, such as traveling for the New Year, etc., according to their different situations, choose different ways to solve the problem, which can not only maintain the relationship between husband and wife, but also will not make the people in both families misunderstand.
Therefore, in the new era, people are more suitable to adopt a "new" couple's life, which may make our lives happier and our family atmosphere more harmonious.
The purpose of the "new" husband and wife life: the daughter-in-law is not aggrieved, the husband is not embarrassed, and the mother-in-law is not angry
If we want to achieve a "new type of married life", we need to pay attention to these three purposes, that is, "the daughter-in-law is not aggrieved", "the husband is not embarrassed", and "the mother-in-law is not angry".
✔ The daughter-in-law is not aggrieved
The daughter-in-law is not aggrieved, which means that after the daughter-in-law gets married, if she encounters a misunderstanding among the elders in the family, she must clarify the misunderstanding in time with a correct attitude to avoid being wronged for a long time, which will lead to a backlog of negative emotions, and eventually explode and affect the entire family life.
Many times, daughters-in-law still respect the elders in the family, so many daughters-in-law always think that the other party is an old man after suffering from the misunderstanding of their mother-in-law, so they will say a few words, so they will "calm down" with silence or obedience.
However, although the original intention of this practice is good, it will bring bad consequences, making the mother-in-law think that the daughter-in-law always makes mistakes, and eventually she will continue to accumulate resentment, leading to the deterioration of family relations.
Therefore, if the daughter-in-law is misunderstood in her married life, she must clarify it in an appropriate way so as not to be wronged.
✔ My husband is not embarrassed
In the family life after marriage, the husband is a very important "balancing role", if there is a misunderstanding or dispute between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, then the husband's approach will directly guide the direction of the family relationship.
When faced with the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, many husbands often behave in a "dilemma", not helping their wives, not helping their mothers, and not knowing what to do, which is definitely not possible.
But if the husband has behaviors such as "harmony", "no matter what he asks" or "partiality", it will lead to the gradual deterioration of the family relationship, and it will be difficult to calm down in the future.
When facing conflicts within the family, the husband must take his own responsibility, not be embarrassed by "what should I do", but to deal with the matter and reconcile the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in an appropriate way.
It is important to note here that when reconciling relationships, it is not possible to do so in the same way.
For example, the husband and daughter-in-law have their own way of communication, and the husband and mother have a different way of communication, and we want a fair result, not a fair process.
Therefore, if you want the relationship between family members to be harmonious and happy, then the husband needs to take responsibility and not be in a dilemma and hesitate.
✔ The mother-in-law is not angry
The elderly are at home, don't get angry at every turn, even if they usually have the habit of "hating love" (knife mouth tofu heart), they need to change it at this time.
Because the son may understand your love, but the daughter-in-law may not understand, she will take the old man's anger as anger, thus triggering all kinds of family conflicts.
For example, when eating, the elders want the younger ones to eat more, so that the body is healthier. Some elders will say, "Eat more, your health will be better", so that the younger generation can intuitively understand the love from the elders.
However, some elders will say with a reprimanding tone: "Eat that little bit when you eat, you see how much XXX can eat ......" Such words will feel like a kind of reprimand and scolding, which will produce a certain amount of resentment, thinking that the elders are unreasonable, after all, they eat a small amount, which is also a fact that is difficult to change immediately.
In fact, no matter which way of expression, the elders are all for the good of the younger generations, and they want the younger generations to eat more, not to be hungry, and not to get sick in good health.
Therefore, when the younger generation gets married, the elders need to pay attention to their language habits, and don't be "angry" at every turn, even if it is because of love.
Write at the end
The lifestyle between husband and wife is not static, we need to follow the trend of the times and constantly adjust, so as to make our family more harmonious and have a better and happier future.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been the most difficult relationship to deal with since ancient times, so how do you usually deal with family relationships? Welcome to leave a message to share.
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