In reality, the reason why many people's marriages are unhappy comes from the inaccurate perception of people when they were young.
Didn't see through each other's nature, didn't see through each other's parents, and so on.
It's a pity to regret it, it's already too late.
As a parent, remind your children to see through some of the most important things.
This is crucial to the quality of life after marriage.
01 What is the other party's motivation for marrying you?
In reality, some people get married for love, and some people get married for money. There are also some people who get married purely for the sake of living together.
The difference in these motives determines how well life can be achieved after marriage.
Husband and wife, they must be real and take what they need, otherwise it will be very difficult to live.
Here's an example.
watched a film and television drama before, and the heroine pursued the male protagonist hard, and then successfully got married.
But in fact, the man only values her, can do housework, and can take care of the old mother, so he got married. For her, in fact, there is not much love.
As a result, after marriage, everything seems to be very happy, but under the calm, there is a surge of uneasiness and loneliness of the hostess.
Life was very boring, and finally turned into misery.
This is the motivation of both parties before marriage, without an accurate estimate.
The woman didn't know about the man, and only married her for the value of housework.
If people's motives for marriage are different, then the way of life after marriage will naturally be different.
If the motive of two people is to live together, then they can get by.
Otherwise, once the motives of both parties are not matched, it is easy to go wrong.
Therefore, it is very important to examine the other party's motivation for marriage before marriage, and whether they take what they need from themselves.
02 What is the essence of the problems that erupt when getting along?
In reality, before the children get married, the problems they get along with cannot be easily ignored.
When getting along, the biggest problem may be the most uncomfortable thing after marriage.
Even the breakdown of feelings, it is concentrated there.
Therefore, before marriage, don't be too tolerant, but see through the essence.
For example, when there is a conflict between a man and a woman, the man goes out and ignores the woman for a few days.
This kind of cold violence, after marriage, may continue to hurt the woman.
In the end, the woman was unable to bear it, which led to the breakdown of the marriage.
Another example is that when a man and a woman get along, one party is too flattering to the other.
Then after marriage, the party who pleases may have been very depressed. On the other hand, it is very ruthless.
It's all a problem.
When people are in love, the problems that erupt can be big or small.
But no matter how big or small, this represents a place where the two sides are incompatible.
This kind of thing, we should see the essence behind it, and don't let it go hastily.
03 The state of being with the elderly
In reality, there are too many people who, at some stage after marriage, want to live with the elderly.
For example, an elderly person is sick in his old age and needs to be cared for. This kind of moral pressure is something that everyone has to deal with.
Therefore, you need to pay great attention to how well you get along with each other's elderly people before marriage.
For example, some young people get along with each other's old people before marriage, and they are uncomfortable.
I feel that the old man is too much in charge, and all kinds of picking.
Then after marriage, you lose your pre-marital scruples, and this situation may become more and more intense.
Before getting married, you should carefully understand each other's parents, their style of conduct, and what is the real thing.
If you can't get along, you don't have to get along, and you don't have to force it.
It's that simple.