Written by / First Psychology Writers
Editor / Tommy
We often say that parents are their children's first teachers, and their words and actions often have a profound impact on their children's future development.
In turn, the child can also reflect the life status of the parents.
For example, a woman's quality of life can be assessed from a child's daily routine alone.
From a psychological perspective, the relationship between parents and children in the family can indirectly indicate the role and status of parents in family life.
If a child attaches great importance to his mother and shows respect and filial piety to her, it usually means that the mother enjoys a high status in the family and occupies a special and irreplaceable place in the child's mind.
The mother-child relationship determines the child's attachment pattern
Child psychologists believe that during their early years, children develop a special emotional dependence on the person who raised them, which is known as toddler attachment.
This attachment is usually easier to form with the mother and is accompanied by a relationship called symbiosis, which is often referred to as "mother-child heart-to-heart" as a manifestation of this pattern.
This early mother-child attachment relationship can have an important impact on a person's life.
Mothers give their children much more than life itself, but also meticulous love and protection. As a result, mothers often become the baby's initial attachment and provide them with the necessary sense of security.
The educator Sukhomlinsky once said:
"Every moment, when you see your child, you see yourself, and when you educate your child, you are also educating yourself and testing your own personality. ”
The character of the mother can be inferred from the character of the child, and this inference is rarely wrong.
Since the mother is the first contact object of the child when he comes into this world and usually accompanies the child throughout his childhood, it can be said that the mother's personality determines the fate of the child.
This stage of growth is also a critical period for the formation of a child's character, and the mother's words and actions will have a lasting impact on the child.
Psychologist Wu Zhihong mentioned:
"The child is the receiver of the parent's emotions, when the parent is upset, the child is immediately alert, and when the parent is relaxed, the child immediately feels happy. ”
Children are naturally good at imitation, and they are more sensitive to the behavior of those around them than mechanical education, and can quickly capture and imitate the behavior of adults, internalizing it into their own behavior.
That's why we often say that teaching by example is better than teaching.
Let's tell you an interesting little story from everyday life.
There is a couple who insist on drinking a latte every day, never stopping. This phenomenon is analyzed by financial expert David L. Bach, who calculated that the cost of two lattes a day is 70 yuan, for a total of 25,550 yuan over the course of a year. Over the past 30 years, the cost of a latte per day has reached 760,000 yuan.
Bach pointed out that many small expenses in daily life may seem insignificant, but they can add up to a considerable expense over time.
This is the "latte effect" that is widely referred to in psychology, and it is also an important concept in economics.
This is precisely the reason why many people are confused about their consumption in the year-end consumption report. They ask themselves, "When did I spend all this money?"
In the same way, if the "latte effect" is applied to family education, its impact is equally significant.
In daily family life, the mother who shares the small details of her life with you every day has a significant impact on the formation of her children's behavior and habits through her daily behaviors and habits.
Separation anxiety caused by separation from parents
As children grow older, they need to gradually integrate into society, and the contact with their parents will naturally decrease, and they will gradually move into independent life.
In the process, they often encounter life's first challenge – anxiety due to separation from their parents. Psychologically, separation anxiety is a common psychological state because children have lived with their parents since childhood and are accustomed to communicating only with people close to them.
When a child needs to adjust to a new environment and be with strangers, he or she may experience a fear similar to that of being separated from his mother.
This emotion does not manifest itself only in adulthood, for example, children in kindergarten may cry en masse when they see their mother leave, which is actually a manifestation of separation anxiety.
Some children may not take this seriously and even prefer to play with their peers.
These different reactions of children are often closely related to the mother's parenting style.
If the mother is able to give the child enough security, the child will not feel overly anxious about the brief separation and will be able to adapt better to society.
This secure attachment relationship allows the child not to feel too upset even if he needs to be separated from his mother temporarily. They are able to regulate their emotions quickly and maintain a relatively calm state.
Most of the children who experience separation anxiety often live in a harmonious family environment. Although their parents give a lot of security, this security is often accompanied by excessive coddling.
Parents are usually highly attentive to their children and often meet their small, unreasonable demands.
Separation anxiety is an emotional state that often occurs when stepping into an unfamiliar environment.
This emotion is not persistent, but rather a temporary emotion that recurs in different environments.
Children who often experience separation anxiety in their early years may have a weaker ability to cope with stress and are prone to fragile emotions in adulthood.
Even with very simple problems, these children are used to asking for help from those around them.
And those who grew up with grandparents or other relatives may not have as much affection for their mothers and may behave colder when separated.
By observing the behavior of the child when separated from the mother, we can roughly judge the emotional relationship between mother and child.
It also reminds us that we must be good at raising our children, and we must neither neglect their growth nor overspoil them.
Side-by-side mapping of the mother's family status
A child's attitude towards his mother not only reflects the mother's education style, but also reflects the mother's position in the family.
If children grow up in a loving and harmonious family, they will be proud to have a wonderful family.
In their interactions with their parents, they learn how to express and feel love. Because children have limited judgment in their early years, they tend to directly believe that their parents' actions are correct.
Therefore, if family members can respect the mother enough, the child will treat the mother in the same way.
By observing the child's words and deeds, we can assess a woman's place in the family and whether she is happy in life.
The End -
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Key words in this article: mother-child relationship, psychology
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