Written by / First Psychology Writers
Editor / Tommy
In families with multiple children, it is common to see situations like this:
Children grow up quickly, and the clothes they buy quickly become ill-fitting. At this time, it is common for parents to have the older child's clothes worn by the younger child.
This practice is very common in times of economic hardship and is an effective way to reduce spending.
However, with the rapid development of the economy and the gradual improvement of people's living standards, it has become common to wear "new clothes", and many children have begun to resist wearing old clothes left by their siblings.
In this case, many parents will educate their children because they are "not saving", and some parents not only let them, but even add the old clothes of relatives and friends to their children's wardrobes.
Although thrift is a traditional virtue of the Chinese nation, parents should also pay attention to their children's reactions.
Psychologists believe that if the economic conditions allow, if the child strongly discourages the wearing of old clothes, then there is no need to force them.
This practice can adversely affect a child's development, mainly in three ways.
1. Loss of a sense of control over one's own destiny
A sense of control is a basic psychological need within each of us.
Abraham Maslow, an important exponent of humanistic psychology, pointed out that
The sense of control is an important embodiment of human subjective initiative, and people with a "sense of control" will feel that their fate and life trajectory are controllable and changeable, and at the same time, they will have a stronger sense of security than those who lack a sense of control.
A person's sense of control is mainly reflected in the control of one's own destiny, others, and the surrounding environment.
If children can't even decide what to wear, they will feel hopeless and helpless, and over time, they may become submissive, lack assertiveness, and have a great lack of self-confidence and fear to show themselves.
2. Accepting "gifts" for a long time and damaging the sense of self-worth
If the child is more submissive and quickly accepts the behavior of wearing old clothes with your education or reward,
This is not the case.
By rewarding their children for wearing old clothes, parents are actually motivating their children to continue this behavior, making them pay less and less attention to their appearance, and accept this behavior inwardly (thinking that wearing old clothes is not harmful to their self-esteem) and take it for granted.
Over time, the child may develop a compromised, casual personality.
As a result of their long-term acceptance of things that have been used by others, they may subconsciously see themselves as a "gifted" character, not only willing to be given to them by others who no longer need them, but also willing to accept the situation themselves.
In nature, in the social structure of animals, individuals with high status always have priority access to resources, while individuals with low status can only be relegated.
Although many people are reluctant to accept it, this is also a universal rule in human society.
Therefore, long-term use of items that have already been used by others may make a person subconsciously feel inferior to others, feel like a casual makeshift person, unable to get the real attention of those around him.
This feeling can weaken a person's desire to pursue good things, which can damage the sense of self-worth and unconsciously lose the ability to be aggressive.
3. Excessive inferiority complex, triggering overcompensatory psychology
In psychology, "compensatory psychology" refers to:
If a person perceives a defect in his body and mind, he will try to make up for it, and if he cannot achieve it in time, he will try to get rid of what he thinks is a "defect" in other ways in the future, even if the defect no longer exists.
Therefore, we can observe that many people who were severely restricted in their childhood develop a great passion for dressing up in adulthood.
In their subconscious, they think that only by dressing up well can they be recognized by others.
Some people even spend most of their income on clothing, spending far more than they actually need, which is a sign of overcompensation.
The Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler once proposed that
Everyone has an inferiority complex hidden in their hearts, and it is this inferiority complex that inspires people's motivation to strive for excellence.
Therefore, if we have felt particularly inferior in a certain aspect, once the conditions and strength allow, we tend to put forward higher requirements in this aspect.
By the same token, children who are limited in their family's financial situation in the early stages of their growth will show a tendency to be extremely extravagant in their clothing expenses in adulthood.
The End -
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
Key words in this article: self-worth, psychology
The picture comes from the Internet, please contact for infringement
WeChat public account: First Psychology