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What is the most beautiful love in the world? Love, please love deeply, please love hard, even if you don't see in the next life, just want to stay together in this life, only to die, no longer born and depart. This is the true meaning of love that Yang Dai and Qian Zhongshu interpreted with their lifelong love for each other.
The most beautiful encounter
March is the season of romance and the season of chance encounters and falls in love. On a beautiful night, the wisteria in front of the Ancient Moon Hall of Tsinghua University was in full bloom and the fragrance of flowers was striking.
Yang Dai, 22, walked out of the door and saw Qian Zhongshu wearing a pair of old-fashioned glasses, a patched coat, stepping on woolen shoes, and full of elegance. Four eyes facing each other, no need for language, no need for confession, love from bud to tree in an instant.
The "deep but deep beauty" between his eyebrows touched her deeply; her frowns seemed to envelop his heart. At the moment when the eyes looked at each other, a wave of emotion instantly spread out in the hearts of the two people, as if they had known each other for a long time, forgetting time and the existence of the world.
Many years later, her daughter Qian Yuan once asked Qian Zhongshu curiously, how did her mother attract him? Qian Zhongshu replied, "I think your mother is different." ”
Qian Yuan asked: "What kind of 'different'?" Qian Zhongshu laughed and said nothing. When love comes, who can express in words the unforgettable love that comes from the bone marrow?
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The best marriage
Since then, the two people have opened up love mode. Since Qian Zhongshu had already left Tsinghua university and gone to the research institute of Tsinghua University when Yang Dai went to Tsinghua University, the two could not see each other all the time. As a result, a touching and hot love letter became a souvenir of Qian Zhongshu's deep love for Yang Dai.
Qian Zhongshu's poem "Yuquan Mountain Tongdi", the title of the poem is very direct, and the word "绛" indicates everything:
If you want to breathe, you are all sinking into the car.
The wind chimes whispered, and the noon tower was idle.
Sitting for a long time, the olive is warm, and he forgets to turn around.
The Ming Dynasty is the long road, and it is a pity to take this time.
In those years when there was no phone and no mobile phone, Qian Zhongshu wrote a poem to Yang Dai almost a day, a fanatical lovesickness.
The feelings of two people are thick with you and me, and the love is deep, and the marriage proposal will come naturally. In the summer of 1933, they held an engagement ceremony at the hotel in Suzhou under the auspices of the parents of both sides. Since then, these two great talents and prominent superstars in the contemporary literary world have been closely linked. They really met the right person at the right time, and then they achieved each other, and the true pearls were united.
In 1935, Qian Zhongshu got the notice of studying abroad, he told Yang Dai for the first time, hoping that the two people could study abroad together, in order to be with Qian Zhongshu, take care of his life and accompany his future development, Yang Dai went through the formalities of suspension. In 1935, the two men held Western and Chinese marriage ceremonies at the Yang and Qian families. Since then, the two have become a couple, "dead and alive, and the son is said; the hand of the son is old with the son"
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Warmest companionship
The best married life may be: I meet him and know that he is the person I want to marry; I marry her, and I know that she is the person I want to spend my life with. Yang Dai and Qian Zhongshu's marriage is like this.
After marriage, the two left their parents and boarded an ocean-going ship to study in Britain. In the middle of the boat and car labor, Yang Dai found that Qian Zhongshu could hardly take care of himself, he was not skilled in using chopsticks, he could not distinguish the shoes of his left and right feet, and he could not tie the shoelaces well, which was not related to the great talent who "did learning" and wrote poetry.
Out of her deep love for Qian Zhongshu, she began to be glad to study abroad with Qian Zhongshu, so that she could take good care of him, let him study and do learning with peace of mind, and not be entangled in the trivialities of life.
Love a person, even if the other party has shortcomings and difficulties in self-care, you will be glad to have him and give yourself the opportunity to take care of each other. People who possess these qualities will eventually reap true love! Because only in this way can you follow all the way without complaint or regret!
Two people in Oxford University full of poetry, eager to study, although life is hard, accompanied by love, there are books to read, this is the paradise on earth.
Soon after, the crystallization of their love arrived as promised, and Yang Dai gave birth to their only child in this life in the hospital. Qian Zhongshu looked at the little baby carefully and repeatedly and said triumphantly, "This is my daughter, and I like it." ”
During the time when Yang Dai was giving birth in the hospital, Qian Zhongshu lived alone.
One day, as usual, he visited the maternity hospital and said with a bitter face, "I have done something bad." After inquiry, Yang Dai learned that he had overturned the ink bottle at home and dyed the tablecloth of the landlord's house. Yang Dai couldn't help but smile, "It doesn't matter, I will wash." Qian Zhongshu went back with confidence.
The next day, Qian Zhongshu said that he had smashed the lamp. Yang Dai comforted and said, "It doesn't matter, I will repair." Qian Zhongshu went back with confidence.
When Qian Zhongshu came back, he was still sad and said that he had broken the door shaft again. Yang Dai still said, "It doesn't matter, I will repair." He went back with confidence.
A talented child who is like a big child, when his beloved wife gives birth to a child and is hospitalized, he frequently breaks things in the family, and he comes to see his beloved wife for help. If you change to someone else, I am afraid that you will have already jumped like a thunderbolt. The greatness of Yang Dai lies in being tolerant and willing to bear. Smart and virtuous, she used love, tolerance, and wisdom to hold up a sky of love for Qian Zhongshu in marriage. A woman full of wisdom is a special thing in the world.
To love a person is to tolerate the shortcomings of the other party, Yang Dai is like this, she keeps her troubles and troubles to herself, because she knows deeply; only by sharing sweetness can you get double sweetness, sharing troubles will get more troubles, and will increase unnecessary anxiety and endless disputes.
Men and women in the world can't see through this, and they have moved from fairy tales to resentment. Only learn to manage love and life, do not pin hope on eternal happiness, avoid resentment and abandon disputes. In order to avoid the marriage to a broken end.
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Self-growth
When her daughter was a hundred days old, Qian Zhongshu, who had already obtained a Bachelor of Arts diploma in Oxford, left London with his wife and children, and went all the way to the University of Paris to continue his studies.
At the University of Paris, which has a longer history and a more relaxed academic style, Yang Dai feels that she can no longer be as lax as an auditor in Oxford, and if she does not seize two years, I am afraid that she will not be able to get a diploma. Especially with children, unlike others, only by working harder than others.
While taking care of the family, Yang Dai did not forget to enrich herself for a moment. Together with her husband, she eagerly studied literature and learned languages from social customs, and returned to the apartment in the evening to take her children to study. During her year of further study in Paris, Yang Dai already knew how to deeply understand the customs, linguistic characteristics, and cultural customs of Europe from outside the books, which were very beneficial to her future growth, providing practical, reference, and flexible guidance and help for her to master a variety of European languages.
Under the influence of her parents, her daughter Ah Yuan also fell in love with reading at a young age. When more and more parents find their children difficult to discipline, have they ever thought of what the ancients said? Qian Zhongshu and his wife did this to the extreme, and only then did they cultivate a daughter who was different.
As the old saying goes, "If you read a book in ten thousand volumes, you will write like a god." Yang Dai began to write in a happy atmosphere and wrote a lot of beautiful articles. When life and school are gradually enriched, the homesickness slowly dissipates.
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Self-honing
When the second world war broke out and the Japanese army began to invade China, at the call of the motherland, Yang Dai and her husband Qian Zhongshu decided to give up their studies and return home with their children.
Shortly after returning to China, Shanghai fell, and the Zhenhua branch school, of which Yang Dai was the principal, was forced to disband. In order to get three buckets of rice from the authorities every month to support the family, she became a tutor, substituted for primary school, and wrote dramas in her spare time. Yang Dai did not give up self-improvement in addition to class, she is still working hard, no matter what kind of situation life falls into, she always puts her spiritual needs first.
In the war years, there is no better thing than living, in order to live, Yang Dai forced herself into a female man, her tender shoulders are getting stronger and stronger, and she must also be strong.
On October 1, 1949, on the day of the founding of the People's Republic of China, Tsinghua University issued a letter of appointment to Yang Dai and Qian Zhongshu to return to the university to teach. After coming to Tsinghua, Qian Zhongshu taught graduate students in the Department of Foreign Languages, and Yang Dai taught English literature. At this time, although Yang Dai has entered the age of confusion, she is still elegant and beautiful, with the unique confidence of mature women.
In the late 1950s and early 1960s, Yang wrote many papers and translated many works. She translates books, doesn't care what other people think, is willing to sit on the cold bench, and only adds bricks and tiles to her own scholarship. She said: "People's dignity and inferiority do not depend on status, do not rely on birth, but only look at their own achievements." If it is a radish, try to make a good radish with water and succulent crunch; if it is a cabbage, try to make a porcelain cabbage. If a person does not want to climb high, he is not afraid of falling, nor does he have to be squeezed out, he can keep his innocence, become his nature, and concentrate on completing what he can do. ”
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There is only death, no more birth
When Yang Dai was 86 years old, her daughter Qian Yuan, who was in her 60s, came to an end due to cancer. At the time of separation, Yang Dai held her daughter's hand, took her into her arms like a child, forced back tears, and said softly: "Sleep in peace, I and your father wish you a good sleep." ”
Qian Yuan listened to her mother's words, smiled, fell asleep quietly, and never woke up again. Birth, the mother brought her into the world; death, the mother took her hand and gently bid her farewell. She was as serene as a baby, as serene as an angel... What a strong, great mother!
After sending her daughter away, Yang Dai returned to the hospital to take care of her unsuspecting husband who was sick. Although the hospital organization experts used various methods, they could not control Qian Zhongshu's love, and his life came to an end on December 19, 1998, less than a year after his daughter's death.
On this day, Yang Dai stood in front of Qian Zhongshu's bed, constantly speaking his hometown dialect in his ear, telling him not to be afraid. Yang Dai said, "You're tired, close your eyes and go to sleep!" Qian Zhongshu said: "Dai, good (that is, 'good birth'). Yang Dai gently kissed him on the forehead. This kiss is the goodbye of past lives and this life; this kiss, kissing the beautiful years of being with him for 63 years; this kiss is only her, and from then on a kiss is a disaster.
Yang Dai and Qian Zhongshu, the two literary giants, interpreted the most beautiful love in the world and the purest marriage in the world in their own way. "Love, please love deeply, love hard, even if you don't see it in the next life, just want to stay together in this life, only to die, no longer born and depart."
Yang Dai, who had lost her daughter and husband, began to sort out Qian Zhongshu's reading notes, and she knew that this was a precious wealth left by her husband to the world. It is Precisely because of Yang Dai's tireless collation that this work on the study of Western literature and culture can shine and shine.
Then she began to translate Plato's "Phaedo", and at the age of 92, Yang Dai completed the writing of "The Two of Us", realizing her daughter's unfulfilled wish for this work.
Four years later, the 96-year-old Yang Dai spent two and a half years writing a collection of essays, "Walking to the Edge of Life", in which Yang Dai began to explore the value of life and the whereabouts of the soul. She said: "Life is full of suffering, old age, and death... The sorrows and joys of the past, the hopes, the sorrows, the trance dreams, are all in the past. "This is the greatest realization of life, no matter how much love and pain, in the end only ashes are left and scattered with the wind." But how many people can understand?
In the early morning of May 25, 2016, 105-year-old Yang Dai walked toward eternity in her sleep. She stopped staying on earth and was reunited with her beloved daughter and her beloved husband.
"The world is its own, it has nothing to do with others," she said. ”
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