*Title source: Question 4 of this issue of Micro-Q&A
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Question 1
Keywords: pregnancy out of wedlock
Hello doll! I'm experiencing some emotional things now, I can't get out by myself, I don't know what to do, can you give me some advice?
I talked to my boyfriend who was 7 years younger than me, and then he said he wanted to have a baby, we wanted it because I loved him, but then when the child was about three months pregnant, because of intercourse, the child miscarried, and after I miscarried for more than a month, my boyfriend broke up, these two things crushed me, I now have YY anxiety disorder, and I haven't slept well since the child miscarried.
Now you say how do I get out?
answer
Before answering your question, you can think about some questions like this:
Why are you different from most people and looking for a boyfriend who is not only younger than you, but also a full 7 years younger than you?
Such a boy who is 7 years younger than you, do you think he is someone who can give you a future?
Why are you not married yet, and your boyfriend said he wanted to have children, and you agreed?
Why should I have sex when I am three months pregnant? Won't your body be uncomfortable, why didn't you refuse?
Even if your child is born, do you think you will get married, and your boyfriend will always stay with you and raise the child like you?
Brush down this series of questions, in fact, the answer is obvious. As long as it is explained by Gao Pan, everything makes sense.
Because Gao Pan entered a short-term relationship, you were given the opportunity to be with your boyfriend who was 7 years younger;
Because of Gao Pan, you are afraid of losing him, so when you are together, you dare not refuse any of his requests, not only willing to risk an unmarried pregnancy to give him a baby, but also agree to have sex with him when the first trimester of pregnancy is still unstable;
Because of Gao Pan, you are reluctant to lose the relationship and are depressed and anxious after being broken up.
However, have you ever thought that if you had not climbed high, not become pregnant out of wedlock, but were with a matching partner, you would still experience all this, and would you still be as miserable as you are now? Surely not.
Because of your serious climb, your relationship is doomed to be a short-term choice from the beginning. Since it is a short-term choice, then your loss of this boy is a sure thing, it is only a matter of time.
Your boyfriend may marry you after giving birth to a child, which is never possible. If he really wants to choose you, why not get you pregnant after getting a license? He wants to have children, so why don't you go to get a license with you after you are successfully pregnant?
Therefore, even if the child is successfully born, it is difficult for this boy to be responsible, I think he will not marry you, nor will he raise the child with you, sooner or later he will leave you.
The end result is that you become a single mom and drag your children up alone.
I'm sorry, maybe I'm a little cruel when I say this, but I'm sure you're not here for comfort, but for help to solve your current dilemma, so it's necessary for me to tell you the truth, even if the truth may be very cruel.
When this happens, people outside the circle will generally comfort you, saying that you met a scumbag, and blame this boy scumbag balabala. It is true that this boy is indeed scumbag, but no matter how much we scold him here, he can't hear it, let alone solve any problem, what is the point. Only by identifying the root cause of this can we avoid falling into similar difficulties in the future.
What you have to do now is to adjust your mentality and think about the good.
Because this boy you came to Gao Pan originally had no future with you, so it's actually a good thing that he left you early. He didn't continue to drag you and delay your mate selection period, and you didn't really become a single mother, and now it's the best you can get in this relationship. In the future, as long as you practice well, you will have the opportunity to choose a new mate.
Imagine if he dragged you all the time, didn't marry you for five years and ten years, and broke up with you when you were 35 or 40? Or what do you do if he suddenly walks away after you give birth and makes you a single mother who is pregnant out of wedlock? At that time, you will only be more depressed and more miserable, won't you?
Everything was best arranged. Only by breaking up early can you turn the page early, so that you can recognize the facts earlier, start cultivating earlier, choose a new mate earlier, and have more opportunities earlier.
Think through all this, and you should be able to get out of this wrong relationship.
PS: Not long ago, the school had the honor to invite Professor David Bass (a famous American psychology professor, an authoritative scholar and leader in the field of evolutionary psychology) to give a lecture again.
Here, I would like to share with the subject and all the fans who saw this question a view that Professor Bass shared privately when he came to China before:
"The most important lesson for a woman is to distinguish between strengths and weaknesses and find a partner who is also equal to her partner's value in the future."
I hope that every girl in the mate selection period can remember and understand this sentence. Especially the keyword "in the future".
Old fans advanced
Question 2
Keywords: scissor man
Hello baby sister, I came on the recommendation of a friend, bought your book, will read micro-questions and answers regularly every day, benefited a lot, there is a question I want to ask, whether I win or not, thank you.
I 1992/163/50/year 100,000, boyfriend 1994/186/70/year 100,000, we have been together for a year, he should be scissors, rich in past emotional experience, very good at providing emotional value, very clean love, very good at housework to take care of people, although occasionally a little temper but most of the time to me obedient, money is spent on me, in addition to work is to play games at home, mobile phone casual look. I also coaxed and hugged him, making him very happy, and he often said that I was a sycophant with a sweet mouth.
Now in the relationship, he plans to visit my parents during the New Year to give gifts, but also said that his family will not help too much when he gets married, because he is not a local, this year for me to come to my city to work, in the future may need my family to provide a marriage room, I know in my heart that I climb his appearance, I think I should provide it, but I haven't told my parents yet
Question 1: How to persuade parents to pay more so that our marriage can be successfully completed?
Question two, when I was dating for half a year, I had a large-scale chat with a male friend from outside the country was found, and then he deleted the repentance and said that he only loved him, he forgave me, so far I have been trembling, very careful about the distance from men, mobile phones can also be checked casually, and strive to reduce PU to perform well, now the emotional concentration is high, I don't know what to do in the follow-up to make the relationship stable
Chat history and photos attached, please give advice, thank you very much!
(Swipe left and right to see more)
answer
Your boyfriend has a skinny face, a very narrow jaw, shaved hair above both ears, long hair on the top of his head, and hairspray (in your photo). In the selfie, wearing stud earrings, looking down at the camera obliquely, and crooked mouth. Whether it is his appearance or expression, it can be seen that he is completely in the state of a pair of scissors.
You did climb his looks.
If you want to enter into a long-term choice with such a scissor man, you have to play the role of a "man" in the relationship, and then "marry" him into the door.
What you said "my family may need to provide a marriage room in the future, I know in my heart that I am high up to his appearance, and I feel that I should provide it" This idea is correct, since you have chosen such a relationship between men and women, then you must be willing to pay for your covetousness for men and the value of covetous emotions.
You can tell your parents that if you don't marry him, if you don't marry, you will become a monk, and your parents will definitely have to compromise.
As for the matter of "I was found to have a large-scale chat with a foreign male friend when I was dating for half a year", fortunately, your boyfriend is strong in cutting sex, is not sensitive to high PU, and he is also very confident in himself, so he did not grasp this matter, so that your relationship can continue.
In general, scissors only look at the future and not at the past, he does not remember much revenge, but correspondingly, he does not remember grace. For example, you have always been good to him, but if one day he finds a better person than you, he may not remember the old relationship and slip away to live a better life.
For you, if you want to stabilize the relationship, you must first continue to maintain your current state of "always trembling, paying great attention to the distance from men, and checking your mobile phone casually, trying to reduce PU and perform well". Even if the other party is not sensitive to high PU, it does not mean that you can always jump in the minefield. If you want to wait until the scissors are long-term and go well with them, you still need a low PU.
Secondly, keep your MV always online, whether it is good looks or figure, you must strive to improve and maintain as much as possible. Finally, and most importantly, you should work hard to make money, be a good economic pillar in the relationship, and don't expect him to compete, because scissors' male competition is generally social, but he goes out to socialize, and your relationship is more likely to encounter third-party challenges.
Of course, even if you do all this, your relationship will not be completely stable. After all, being with the scissor man is like getting on a ship sailing in a storm, it is good to be able to ensure a relatively smooth move as much as possible, it is impossible to guarantee that it is absolutely safe, and there are always risks in going to sea. But you can't stay on the really safe land (you can't look at the stone man who matches you), so you can only ride the wind and waves as a crew member. Since you have chosen to be a crew member, be a good crew member.
You can't be both handsome, you want people to provide emotional value, and people must always be dedicated to you, unless you can elevate both MV and Xiongjing to the point where you can crush not only him, but also all the opposite sex that can be touched around him.
If you can't, don't be greedy.
Finally, although your boyfriend said that you are "sweet and sycophant", judging from the chat records, your ability to provide emotional value is not passing, and the sweet words you say are relatively superficial, like children playing around with each other, and they are not distracted.
Besides, for a scissor man, your mouth is sweet and provides a price, "coaxing and holding him and making him very happy", just like an additional question in the exam, doing it right is the icing on the cake, but if you really want to pass the exam, you have to rely on the points mentioned earlier.
Come on, you need to improve, a little much.
Question 3
Keywords: boyfriend parents
The doll and the little assistant are good, pay attention to the existing problems of the doll for many years, and want to ask my sister for advice:
Male 32 years old, 178,170 pounds, medium looking, small leader in the small city system, undergraduate, has a car and a house, both parents have just retired in the system, the father is a G member, and the only son.
Female 29 years old, 160.92 pounds, middle and upper looks, working in the small city system, undergraduate, has a car and a house, parents are in business, assets are about 3kw, only child, short-term marriage without children, no banquet, no wedding photos, and did not buy three gold.
We met through the introduction of friends, have been together for more than a year, high emotional concentration, mutual tolerance of personalities, usually a lot of gifts, generous money, very in love, but the boy's parents very mindful of my second marriage, feel high on them, plus small city people are terrible, feel ashamed, very mindful of my emotional experience, have called many times to threaten me to leave, I have also tried to communicate, ineffective
The boy has been resisting at home, once threatened his parents with his own s, but also ineffective, the two sides have been deadlocked for a year, as they get older, I don't know if to continue?
Accept it no matter what the result is, hope to be drawn by the doll sister, thank you.
answer
This boy's father may have been raised as a stone boy since he was a child. And you, if it is really as you say, "serious injuries in appearance", plus "short marriage and no children", it is a high MV and high PU cutter woman. The cloth cutter meets the cloth stone man, which happens to be the nemesis of the father-in-law, and the father-in-law is not used to you, so it is naturally difficult to smoothly enter the long choice.
If you are a good friend of mine, I may privately give you support and use some tips, but on this public platform, it is not convenient to say more publicly. But there is a way you can try, generally this kind of family male parents are more trusted, you know.
In addition, you said that your boyfriend "has been resisting at home, and has threatened his parents with self-s, which is also invalid", whether he resisted at home, what is the real situation of resistance, in fact, you don't know, even if he is really resisting, but his parents should know him better, know how he resists, and can't resist any tricks, so he is not afraid that he resists or even makes trouble with S, insisting that you two separate.
In short, if you want to enter marriage with this boy, it is impossible to pay nothing, you better take advantage of your family situation, on the one hand, be prepared, if this boy really fights with the family, give up the family property and be with you, then after marriage you will come out of the house to pay; On the other hand, you can also spend more money to think of other options.
Before our sisters' tea party, we did a call for questions on the topic of "what if you don't like your boyfriend/husband's parents":
"This kind of girl, the most pleasing to in-laws"
, you can refer to it. Best wishes!
Question 4
Keywords: Murder
Hello, I would like to consult if I want to climb my boyfriend
He is more than 184.130 jin 21 years old, a suite in Hangzhou, has a car of more than 300,000 yuan, and earns about 10,000 yuan a month
I am 20 years old.165.104 pounds In third-tier cities, a house earns about 10,000 a month
He was very good to me, living together, but the cost of living was shared, and after knowing each other for two months, he hurriedly pushed forward to meet his parents for the New Year, and I was caught hanging out with a male friend in the middle of being together, but he didn't propose to break up, and I was confused why he was like this
I want to ask Sister Wa to help me see
answer
You are very beautiful, and your figure is good, enough to enter the threshold of Internet celebrity, plus you are only 20 years old, "a monthly income of about 10,000 in a house in third-tier cities", and you can also bear the living expenses with your boyfriend, so although your boyfriend is tall and handsome, it is not easy for him to find a girl with similar conditions to you in all aspects, who has a house and is willing to bear the cost of living. In other words, a girl as young and beautiful as you is not willing to spend money on him, and needs him to pay more; And the girls who are willing to spend money on him are not as old as you.
As for your statement that "I once went out with a male friend in the middle of being together and was caught, but he didn't propose to break up", it's not hard to understand.
For boys like your boyfriend who are more shearable, as long as the woman does not make a substantial mistake, their tolerance will be higher, plus you are now giving him more (young, beautiful, money) than he should have received, so he is naturally reluctant to break up.
If you can stay young and beautiful all the time, and don't mind sharing your wealth with your boyfriend, you can get married smoothly, and the relationship will not have much problem for the next ten to fifteen years. But the problem is who can always be young and beautiful, so a high-MV and high-PU cutter like you, generally after the age of 35, old age and decay, the crisis may come. (Source of the title of this issue)
If you want to avoid retaliation in the future (such as your husband cheating to make amends), in addition to working hard and paying for each other's scissors, you should also try to maintain PU at a relatively low level, and don't have anything to do in the future when you go out with your male friends to play this kind of explosive PU.
Still that sentence, usually save more money in the emotional account (keep PU low), save more, and when you need to use it, you won't use it quickly. But if you keep squandering (bursting PU) and overdrawing your emotional account, then in the future, you will only have to pay back with profits (swallowing needles).
In the comment area, you may wish to talk about what happened to the beautiful women around you who committed murder when they were young, especially the elders.
Question 5
Keywords: industry direction
Hello sister, I am a member of Big Planet, and in 2021, I was fortunate to listen to your class and began to work hard to climb out from the men's and women's cloth industry, and I have not succeeded in getting out of the pit.
At present, it has shifted from medical sales (non-epidemic products) to medical product training (teaching sales staff to use surgical tools), and has taken the certificate of online training, so most of the time is spent working online from home, and needs to travel offline to give lectures about 10 times a year.
Although there are benefits such as working from home most of the time, in the final analysis, it is still in the industry of men's cutting women's cloth, and I feel uneasy.
I would like to ask you if I need to change careers, if so, I would like to ask you to help see which of these two directions is more suitable, thank you for your time and effort
answer
Medical product training is no problem.
Anyway, just remember a purpose, as long as it is a stone work, it is meaningful, and it will be better.
Every time on the top is robbed, backstage a water praise, every day to return!
The group price is so cost-effective that I don't feel distressed for my own use, and my mother and mother-in-law want to rush when I see it
This annual "super worth buying" item