He Suohuan, a writer of sexual affective psychology, writes love stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
Lu Xun in "Hometown", there is such a fragment description:
I was very excited at this time, but I didn't know what to say, just said: "Ah, Brother Min Tu, you are here?" ”
I then had a lot of words, wanting to gush out like beads, but I always felt as if I was blocked by something, swirling in my head, and I couldn't spit out.
He stood still, with a joyful and desolate expression on his face, moving his lips but not making a sound.
His attitude finally became respectful and he shouted, "Sir."
This clip is really timely.
The relationship between people is like this, and as time goes on, it becomes more and more strange.
When you are young, everyone has a lot of partners around them.
The feelings of the student era are also a part of the memories that cannot be erased in everyone's heart.
The older you get, the more people like to miss their student days, youth, and beauty.
Therefore, every New Year, it will be a time for some people to organize class reunions.
It's just that after attending the class reunion, you don't feel much pleasure and surprise, but are deeply tired and helpless.
You even have a thought: "In the future, I don't want to go to a class reunion again."
Such hot searches often appear on the Internet:
Why do more and more people not like class reunions?
Because at class reunions, you can see everyone's true or false side.
It is said that it is a class reunion, but also a "phase of all beings".
Show off, compare
On any occasion, showing off and comparing games is indispensable.
Those who work in large factories and those who work in small companies show off their income;
Married ladies, showing off their husbands and families with those around them;
Compare house prices and house sizes between buyers;
People with children get together and show off their children;
Only you sit silently in the corner and finally see a "fellow practitioner".
Seeing each other, you remember that he was silent in the class before.
So you approached him and wanted to talk to him, but he said to you:
"How are you doing?" Is it okay to lend me some money? ”
It turns out that everyone is the same.
Where there are people, there will be chains of contempt;
Where there is a chain of contempt, it is the game game of showing off and compareing.
In this game, everyone can release their long-suppressed desires and ambitions.
Full of creating your own persona, even if it is pretending, as long as you can get the approval of others.
"Tearing up one pair after another"
A post I saw on the Internet came to mind.
One wife said that after her husband went to a class reunion, the couple's 10-year marriage was ruined.
The reason is that the husband met his first love at the class reunion that he liked when he was a student.
First love has always been the white moonlight in her husband's heart, which makes him always worried.
She can feel that even if she is married to her husband, the person he loves most in his heart is not herself.
Although this wife loved her husband very much, she took the initiative to file for divorce.
She could not tolerate sand in her eyes, she could give in to the fact that her husband had another woman in his heart, but she could not tolerate his betrayal.
In fact, class reunions are indeed quite dangerous for some "undetermined" people.
After all, when you meet an old lover, it may be easy to "rekindle old love" if you are not careful.
I haven't seen each other for years, it's full of freshness, and I still miss each other a lot.
It only takes one chance to create each other's wrong choices.
Things are people and people, and feelings deteriorate
In fact, for people who really want to participate in class reunions, they simply do not have the idea of showing off, comparing, and ambiguous.
What they have in mind is:
Relive the relationship with classmates and look for those "lost memories" with past classmates.
In the student years, who did more childish things;
Who is on the playground, confessing to someone they like?
Who is in school, receiving one small honor after another?
Who has done something ugly on certain occasions?
They reminisced together about their student days, but they commemorated their lost youth.
The older a person is, the easier it is to be "nostalgic".
Because of the cold and complicated social interaction, the pressure of life and work has long exhausted everyone.
They need such memories, relaxation, to give them some solace in their souls.
But you will find that the class reunion has long deteriorated.
You want to simply catch up with the past, talk about the past, imagine the future, and get spiritual comfort; But others don't think so, everyone wears masks, pretends to be and plays on the scene.
You think that everyone has not changed, but after actually meeting you, you realize that there seems to be an insurmountable wall between you.
Maintaining long-term classmate relationships is inseparable from 3 factors
First: You have common interests
As a student, you participate together in soccer teams, basketball teams, various sports or hobby classes.
Even after graduation, you maintain close contact and invite each other to do joint sports every time you meet.
It is a common memory, a common emotion, carrying the last pure land in each other's hearts.
But such relationships are sometimes fragile.
After all, you will also give up your basketball dreams, football dreams, and hobbies that you have been holding on to for a long time.
The moment you give up may be the moment when your feelings disappear.
Second: You have common "interests"
There are no eternal friends, but there are eternal interests.
Only interests can keep the friendship between two people lasting;
Only interests can make two strangers who have never known each other hook up and become good partners.
In the face of interests, even if there are many problems in your relationship, it is nothing.
Third: you have the same "circle"
This is equally important for managing classmate relationships.
Similar circles are:
The two live in the same community, live in the same village, and have known each other for a long time since their parents;
You work in an industry, you work in a city, you even work not far away.
In addition to being classmates, you also have mutual friends in your circle.
By satisfying these factors, your classmate relationship can be maintained for a long time.
What do you think of the "class reunion" during the Chinese New Year?
Are you still willing to participate?
(Article with picture source network)