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What comes to mind when you think of "vassals"? Is it subconsciously that this is a derogatory term, and feels that how can you "attach" others? If you go to vassalage others, isn't it a disguised admission that you are inferior to others?
However, in real life, we will involuntarily follow people who are stronger than us, for example, in a party, we will subconsciously hope that there is a person who is good at socializing around, or look more at the person who is good at socializing in the party, and may not even realize that this is a manifestation of a "vassal" strong, because the attachment is strong and is human nature.
Why are people reluctant to admit that they are vassals of the powerful? I think the question can be traced back to what is the source of life. Why does life exist? What is the purpose of life? What is the meaning of life?
I think that life exists for "survival," and that existence includes the survival of living organisms and spiritual bodies. If the spirit of a living being breaks through the existence of the living organism and produces other meanings beyond the existence of the living organism, then it is what we usually call a "sense of existence."
Survival is human nature. The strong will have a certain degree of influence on our organisms and spiritual bodies, so in a sense, the strong is the inevitable pursuit of every life, which can be answered to a certain extent from Darwin's evolutionary theory of "survival of the fittest", the life that actively goes to extinction is getting weaker and weaker, and most of the remaining life is not for the sake of extinction.
Whether they do it or not, every living being wants to be strong first of all, and everyone will think that they are the best person from the beginning of consciousness, and it is difficult to admit that others are better than themselves.
This kind of strength and weakness exists in the comparison of each other, take the student period as an example, in the examination, there will always be a high or low test score, and according to the gap presented on this score, the students will naturally be divided into three levels of academic performance, and for students with superior academic performance, they will compete with each other.
We usually think that this is a contest between the strong, for students with slightly inferior grades, they will strive to improve their grades and make themselves strong, while for students with poor academic performance, they will subconsciously develop hostility towards students with good grades.
This is when an individual begins to recognize that others are better than themselves, and the first feeling is to resist, not to follow. And when the gap between the two has not been reduced for a long time, we accept that we are not strong, and thus change our consciousness: follow the strong.
In the workplace, too, we will obey the bosses and managers of the company, not just because of the company system, but because we set the label in our hearts that they are better than ourselves, and this label will make us follow them.
When we think that the leader has nothing to follow or that the label of the strong person is no longer suitable for him, we will choose the next strong person who can follow, whether it is where we work or achieve achievements that others think are good, we will subconsciously follow people who are stronger than ourselves.
Companies will set high requirements in the expectation of reaching the height of the benchmark company, and individuals will choose stronger stronger people as their goal of struggle, or rely on them, which is due to human nature.
Being attached to the strong is not a manifestation of my own incompetence or lack of self-confidence, on the contrary, I prefer to call it the goal of striving forward, following the strong, moving closer to the strong, and making myself better. Of course, vassalship here is not the same as flattery, flattery, but thoughtful to follow.
By observing, imitating, and learning the way of thinking, handling things, and conduct of the strong, we will remove their dross and take their essence. Learn from excellent people, learn their shining points from them, and at the same time enhance the personal value of individuals and create more social value.
Learn from others with an open mind, recognize your own shortcomings, and tap your own shining points by learning from the strong. The vassals and strong people do not have to be jealous or hostile, their past is also the present you, and your future is now them, do not have to complain about their ordinariness, but calmly accept the imperfect self now, believe that there is no perfect person and things.
After all, the world can not find two of the same leaves, so why embarrass yourself, admit the excellence of others is actually not difficult at all, accept their own ordinariness is also a very great thing, vassals are the common feelings of people, but also human nature.
Learn to recognize their own ordinariness, in this world, not everyone can become the leader of other people, admit that they are also an ordinary person, to appreciate the excellence of others. Every ordinary ordinary day deserves to be taken seriously, and every subtle scenery deserves to be appreciated. It is human nature that vassals are strong.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Deer feathers
The First Psychological Writer Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：[1]Staff, T. (2020). 15 Logical Fallacies You Should Know Before Getting Into a Debate. The best schools.