There is a poem that makes me very emotional: If life is only like the first sight, what is the autumn wind and sad painting fan.
Whether it is friendship or love, or even family affection, it is so sweet, warm and loving at the beginning;
But later, the two hearts drifted apart in the turbulent years, and the love became weaker and weaker, what happened?
- 01 -
"You don't ask, I don't say, and I'm gone."
Some people, just drift away without saying a word, and finally become each other's dispensable.
Once saw a set of "formulas":
I don't ask + you don't say = misunderstanding
I asked + you don't say = estrangement
I asked + you said = respect
You want to say + I want to ask = tacit understanding
I don't ask + you said = trust
We met without words, we were separated by two places, too little contact, once upon a time we thought we would accompany each other for a lifetime, for each other to go to the soup, in the fire, who knows, the original time and distance, can really beat everything.
The young writer Peng Pan wrote a passage in the book "When Our Youth Is Drifting Away":
"We hurried to the road, but we could not escape the loneliness and exhaustion; we were full of pride, but we could not hide the scales; we looked back and missed, and our friends had gone far.
You think that the journey of youth is the same destination, who knows its name after the indefinite. ”
Yes, the former friend, do not know how to get separated, the person I used to like, do not know how to love can not continue.
Perhaps, it is all because, when I have opinions, estrangements, and misunderstandings, I did not choose to take the initiative to ask, and you did not choose to take the initiative to explain.
You wait for me to greet, I wait for you to care, time passes little by little, we disappoint each other, and then let go of the relationship.
As a friend, you don't say your recent situation, I just ask you now, in the past, no matter how hot you were, it was also a shot or two in the morning.
As a partner, I have a heart that you don't care about, you are gambling I am not appeased, no matter how the sea vows to the mountain alliance in the past, sooner or later it will look like a god.
Our relationship, that's how it fades, you don't ask, I don't say, and then shoot two scattered.
- 02 -
"I'm leaving, you don't stay, you miss it"
You may have heard this sentence:
If you want to go, I will not stay.
In fact, you may not think so in your heart. If the man is gone, you may still look back step by step to see if he's still there.
Strong and sensible, you tell yourself that you can live well without anyone, but the person who hides in the corner and cries is also you.
But your voice is:
Please keep me, I really care about you.
You know, it is true that without anyone, you have to live well, but the loss of that moment is not because of the loss of anyone, but you find that you are not really cared for, you do not keep, they really did not stay.
Whether it is friendship or love, or family affection, one party must pay more, and one party must be more active.
It's just that long-term feelings will slowly let both parties take the initiative to pay with the initiative of one party, and the feelings that have become weaker will often be the party who takes the initiative, and the payment will not be rewarded.
Some people try to test people's hearts with "leaving", and finally find that the original human heart is cold, and the most in the world can not be looked at directly, except for the sun, is the human heart.
Some people choose to leave you, it is a long-term decision, not a temporary idea, you can't indulge in it, you have to start again.
I like a passage that pokes my heart:
"Stop regretting what you missed.
The people and things you miss, others have the opportunity to meet, others miss, you have the opportunity to have.
Everyone will miss it, everyone will miss it, and what really belongs to you will never be missed. ”
Missing, not wrong, but passing.
Sooner or later, those who do not belong to you will go, and those who do not care about you will fade sooner or later.
- 03 -
"You don't accept softness, I don't bow my head, I won't be the same again"
The famous writer Zhu Shenghao wrote a poem "Partridge Heaven" for his wife Song Qingru, and the last sentence was:
"Don't have to be accompanied by ears and sideburns, a smile and a low head have fallen."
I used to think that the meaning of this sentence was that Song Qingru looked down and smiled, which made him very moved, but if you knew their love story, you wouldn't interpret "bow your head" like this.
Song Qingru is a talented woman, independent and talented.
After meeting Zhu Shenghao, Zhu Shenghao and Song Qingru exchanged love with poetry letters, and Zhu Shenghao felt very happy as soon as he received her letter.
In the love letters he wrote to Song Qingru, he called her more than seventy kinds, such as baby, girl, silly girl, kiss, Song Er, little ghost head and so on, which showed her admiration and pampering.
He will always express to Song Qingru that he will always be good to her and do what he says.
After marriage, Song Qingru turned from a talented woman to a housewife, three meals a day, chai rice oil and salt, everything worried, while Zhu Shenghao focused on translating "Shakespeare", the knowledge of young women of that era was precious, but she was willing to make sacrifices for her lover.
A considerable part of the reason they are in love with each other is that they are willing to "bow their heads" to each other.
Zhu Shenghao is talented, but never stingy with his love, he uses his own way to coax her to be happy, willing to lower his status in the relationship, and Song Qingru, because of deep love, is willing to make concessions.
Men should be soft, and women should be able to bow their heads.
All the refusal to "admit it" is just not enough love.
For a woman, one day, she is not noisy, well-behaved and sensible, then her heart is dead.
Once upon a time, she bowed her head, you never served softly, and slowly, she did not bow her head anymore, and you could not go back to the past, and then your relationship became weaker.
All relationships, soft to each other, take turns bowing their heads, will not fall apart.
- 04 -
"Thanks for meeting, not living up to the meeting"
The person who last stays with you may not be the most emotional, but it must be the most appropriate, the most comfortable, and the most worthwhile.
In this life, few people can accompany you through the spring and autumn for decades, the vast majority of people, but with you along the way for a while, we must be ready to lose at any time, so that we will not be so sad when we lose.
An old friend who hasn't been in touch for years, are you okay?
I'm fine, thank you for walking with me for a while, thank you for meeting, live up to the encounter.
People you've loved before, are you okay?
Maybe once loved, but at the moment I just want you to be well, and then we're better off than before.
Time can not stand the waiting, take advantage of the years are not old, the evening wind is not cool, should be clear to say clear, should be retained, should be soft to serve soft, while you and I are still there.
May all the drifting away be for a long time to be reunited and happy at the next stop.
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