There is practice, there is companionship, there is strength
Hailan Happy Home 2022 45th practice story
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This year, my son's third year of high school, coupled with the epidemic, so the possibility of returning to his hometown in Shandong is almost impossible.
Usually, when I go back to Shandong, my husband drives, so I will carry a few bags of rice for my mother and mother-in-law.
Although Shandong is mainly based on pasta, there is now more rice to eat.
My mother liked it and was used to me coming home and bringing her some rice, which may mean that for her daughter has her in her heart and remembers her.
The other day, my mother wanted me to deliver two bags of rice to her.
I inquired about it, the courier fee is 12 yuan per kilogram, and if you send it down, the basic courier fee exceeds the rice money (75 yuan for a bag of rice).
So I asked her: Is it okay to buy two bags of rice at the supermarket yourself?
She was a little upset and reluctantly said okay.
I have been working overtime in recent days, and this morning I sent her a red envelope of 200 yuan between busy work, thinking: Two bags of rice 150, I give her 200, she should be happy.
As a result, my mother's voice quickly replied, saying that receiving the red envelope felt wrong, as if she could not afford to buy rice, just like I wanted.
I was on the road at the time, and suddenly I was a little angry: I was so busy that I was still hanging on my feet to the sky, and you still picked and chose to dislike?!
Aware of my emotions, I quickly took a few deep breaths, turned my eyeballs, and adjusted my emotions back to a calm state.
I saw mom longing to be respected, loved, and she craved to connect with me.
I also saw my love for my mother, thinking of fulfilling my promise to her between such busy work, how I love my mother and love my work.
First of all, I exaggerated myself fiercely, and boasted to the point that my heart was full of flowers.
I give her money to buy rice, and my goal is to let her know that I love her and that I remember her.
I also saw my mother's loneliness, so I told her in my voice that I missed her very much, remembered her very much, and thanked her for all the love and care she had given to me and my son.
Sure enough, the one who loves to come out loves to return. Mom's voice came back with love, warmth, and gratitude.
She also happily accepted the red envelope and said that she went to buy delicious rice.
We exchanged a few more words, and I went to work.
But my heart is warm, I can feel thousands of miles away, my mother's heart is also warm.
Communication in the green light district makes love flow.
Here to explain, the green light communication method is a communication method introduced by the Sea Blue Happiness Family, that is, to first assess the emotional state of both parties to the communication, if they are in the green light area (in a good state of mood), and then communicate.
Today I used the green light area communication method, and the effect was great.
harvest:
When we have emotions in communication with ourselves or the other party, we must first return to the emotions, soothe our emotions, and then return to the handling of things;
In communication, being aware of whether we are in the green light area, judging whether the other party is in the green light area, and doing this requires a lot of meditation, awareness, and awareness.
Be sure to keep an eye on the goal of communication and not be carried away by your own emotions and those of the other person.
Author: Elizebeth (Sea Blue Happy Family Practitioner)
Editor: Wang Li