Mr. Toad went to see a psychiatrist and read it

Do you need to see a psychiatrist? After reading this book you will know.

When I first saw the title of this book, I thought it was a fairy tale, suitable for children to read, with the idea of joking, passing the time and buying it to read. The book is by British Robert. Written by Debod, the full story is depressed and unable to extricate himself because Mr. Toad is depressed, so his friends decide to help, including the wise and majestic badger, the river rat who cares about his friend but is a little chattery, and the considerate and kind mole. So several small animals took the toad to psychological counseling.

After almost 10 interviews, both the toad and the reader seemed to quietly understand something during these 10 interviews.

When I first met the counselor Heron, Mr. Toad was not very cooperative in his heart, in his opinion, he came to see a psychologist to cooperate with his friends, like many patients to see a doctor,I am a patient, you are a doctor, how to treat you, I cooperate. And psychological treatment is far from so simple, the first step is to be willing to treat from the heart, and then open your heart, psychological treatment, in the final analysis, depends on yourself.

Look for the cause of depression for the first time

As soon as the toad entered the consultation room, the consultant asked him, "How are you?" How do you feel? The toad was overwhelmed by this simple greeting, and it used to be that he had taken the initiative to say to his friends: "Hello, my friends" or "You can never guess what I've been doing lately", and no one seems to have ever asked him: How are you? How do you feel? When you are young, you are always more able to get the attention of your relatives and friends, and when you grow up, it seems that it is easier to make people lonely, perhaps, everyone thinks that you are an adult, so you don't need to care!

1-10 points of thermometer, the toad gave himself 1-2 points, and even said that he had suicidal thoughts, felt as if he had no value, did not do anything in his life, and made a mess of his life. Desperate thoughts sometimes happen in an instant, and in that moment, you can't hear any outside voices, and the traffic of the outside world has nothing to do with you, no relatives, no friends, and even, no self.

The toad describes unhappy things, including many unpleasant, frightening, and humiliating things about friends and parents, but when the toad begins to talk, his mood is already much better.

Child ego state: "natural child" - "adaptive child."

In the process of consultation, the toad found that many hours of bad emotions, feelings, still exist after growing up, over and over again.

The child's ego is built from the remnants of our childhood and contains all the emotions we experience as children. You must know that when we are born, we have only a few of the most basic emotions. At an early age, these basic emotions evolve into more subtle, complex patterns of behavior that become the core of the self, become part of ourselves, and define our lifetime behavior. Because of this, certain situations and situations stimulate our basic patterns of behavior and make us react, so we act and feel as we did as we did as children. Specific situations and scenarios vary from person to person.

1, the child's basic emotions: happiness and affection, anger, sadness, fear, all of these emotions add up, constitute the so-called "natural child" no matter how old, may be in a child state. For example, babies scream for food and attention, suck as much milk as they can, and go to sleep contentedly when they are full. From the first day of birth, these innate emotions begin to function. As the child's body grew stronger, his emotional world became richer and more energetic. But there are other factors involved in this process, the most important of which is the parents, who have an impact on the child's consciousness from the very beginning. Almost everything a baby does trigger certain reactions from the mother or father that have a profound effect on the child. In the face of crying babies, the mother's usual response is to give love and comfort. But there are also parents who will make unloving moves. The mother may be tired, even sick, and will behave harshly. Or, the father's parenting concept may be very strict, and he will deliberately ignore the baby's crying, for fear of 'spoiling' him. ”

Most parents will do their best to raise their children, and few parents want to intentionally hurt their children. But parents are also human beings and will inevitably pass on their ideas and behaviors to future generations, just as they will certainly pass on their genes to the next generation. So what children have to learn is how to cope and defend against the consequences of this. Infants and young children cannot think logically or consciously about these questions, but they will learn from experience. Such learning involves not only thinking with the mind, but also the whole self. What we learn is a survival strategy and develop a set of behaviors to deal with parents and others. If we're lucky, we'll be able to use the rest of our energy to enjoy life. This means that every baby must learn how to adjust his basic behaviors to cope with the initial situation in which he or she is in. These adjustments, like the nucleus of an atom, are formed and developed around this core in all our future behaviors. Of course, many other events later in life can also affect us, but these earliest experiences shape the prototype of personality, so we cannot deny or forget them.

From the time we land on the ground, we have only two people in our lives, sometimes even only one person. They are so powerful compared to us, and we rely on them completely. Because there is nowhere to escape, the only thing we can do is to adapt to their moodiness every time.

2. Adaptive children's behavior:

Obedience/Pleasing Behavior: If the person really does not have the power, he must learn to obey the oppressor, otherwise he may not be able to live, and if you are forced to obey someone, it means that you do not argue with him. You do what they say and agree with them.

Apologies: I apologize almost everything I do to appease others.

Dependence: Acts of obedience may lead to some people learning to think of dependence as a way of life, in other words, these people never really grow up.

Manifestations of anger: If anger meets absolute power, you will learn how to be angry without aggression, and the way to do this is to release anger in a easing way, such as sprinkling, anger, willfulness, depression, procrastination, boredom, etc. When adults exhibit these behaviors, we wonder if they are misbehaving or if they are unconsciously or uncontrollably repeating childhood.

Parent status

Parenthood encompasses all the values and morals we learn from our parents since birth, as well as the criteria by which we can judge right from wrong. These values come from our parents, so parents are the ones who can most influence our behavior. Their words and deeds shaped our childhood lives and inevitably had an impact on our lives later in life.

Critical parents: love to criticize, angry, harsh;

Everyone has a "parental ego state," and we think of the "parenthood" as a judge who is constantly accusing people, convicting them, and then being able to punish them logically. And no criticism is stronger than self-criticism, and no judge is harsher than ourselves.

Adulthood: Refers to the fact that we act rationally rather than emotionally. It allows us to respond to the realities that are happening here and now, where we can plan, consider, decide, act, and act rationally and rationally. In this state, all our knowledge and skills can be put to our own use, and we are no longer driven by the voices of our parents in our heads or surrounded by childhood emotions. Instead, we can think about the current situation and decide what to do based on facts.

Life coordinates and mental games

1, I am good; you are also good;

2) I'm good; you're not; people with this psychological coordinate often occupy the commanding heights of power and authority so they can play their game. It's a game that people often play in the workplace. First of all, there are individuals who make mistakes, and as you can imagine, this is very common. Then the boss found out, called the wrong subordinate in for a good reprimand, made a big fuss, and yelled at the subordinate. People in this state are usually in a "parental state" and are in a "picky parent state".

3, I am not good; hello; this represents the behavior of a person, this type of person thinks that he is very bad, others are better than him. "Almost in any way. People with low self-esteem usually feel that life is not good for them, but are more kind to others. In a nutshell, people at this coordinate think they are victims of life, so they play games that will turn them into victims. In more severe cases, some people will do their best to choose to remember those sad and unhappy events and forget or ignore the good times. "People who play this game do get depressed. They think that their lives are affected by bad forces and they can't control them, which makes them anxious and feel that they are not good enough.

4) I'm not good; neither am you good

Once we decide which attitudes and perspectives to use in childhood, we will stick with our choices for the rest of our lives. These attitudes and opinions become the underlying architecture of our existence. Since then, we have built a world that is constantly recognized and supported. These beliefs and expectations. In other words, we turn our lives into a 'self-fulfilling prophecy.' If you think that life makes you unhappy and unkind to you, then getting drunk today is a method you use, which can confirm the expectation that tomorrow you will feel miserable. In other words, you created a 'self-fulfilling prophecy'.

postscript

Understand your own psychological state, in order to better understand yourself, understand others, but also be able to fully play their adult state, let themselves better cope with the people and things around them, live out the most real, happy self.

I have heard many examples of choosing to end my life due to depression, and I am very sorry, I hope that there will be no more sadness and depression in heaven, and I hope that the living people can continue to cheer and enjoy the beauty of life.