Text/Hua Mo, Jiang Zuo Mei Niang
Many people in the TV series "This Life Has You" complain that the plot is old-fashioned and very old-fashioned, but because of the interpretation of acting actors Zhong Hanliang and Li Xiaoran, it also makes many people sigh that the sense of substitution is too strong, and the director plays the middle-aged pain literature too clearly.
What is Pain Literature? This is an extension of the earliest literature of adolescent pain. Du Niang's explanation: Youth pain literature is to lay out a pure and beautiful picture of youth that makes you love the pain, go straight to the deepest part of youth, and face the scars and tears of youth.
In fact, to put it bluntly, love is to hurt each other and torture each other. Whose youth does not have a man who loves and cannot love? Whose youth hasn't fed a dog?
But people will always grow, and the silly white and sweet woman will grow into a high-ranking woman after going through the world. So what are the cheats of high-ranking women that are worth referring to? You have to learn the word "torture", the more you will torture a man, the more he will be inseparable from you, don't believe it.
01. Take the initiative to show weakness and keep bothering him
In "There Is You in This Life", Tan Jing and Nie Yusheng were originally a first love couple with good feelings, but because of the unexpected death of Tan Jing's father and the opposition of Nie Yusheng's father, the two had to be separated. Years later, the two said goodbye, Tan Jing took a son with congenital heart disease to live a difficult life, and Nie Yusheng also hated Tan Jing to the bone because of the events of that year.
Because of his son's ordinary illness, a pair of old lovers who seem to have no intersection have to be entangled together. In order to pay for her son's surgery, Tan Jing put down her face and borrowed money from Nie Yusheng twice, making Nie Yusheng hate her even more. But there is no love, where there is hate, and nie Yusheng saw that Tan Jing's husband beat her because of the operation problem, and he desperately went to help her.
When Tan Jing was sick and dripped alone but fell asleep, Nie Yusheng felt sorry for her and took her to the hotel to rest, and the two kissed uncontrollably. While Tan Jing opened her mouth and said that she would exchange her body for her own needs and collect the operation fee for her son, Nie Yusheng left angrily. Why did Tan Jing do this? Because she loved him and wanted to use him, but she was afraid that he really couldn't live without her, she had to abuse him in this way.
Tan Jing actually loves Nie Yusheng in her heart and has never changed, but because her father's death is related to Nie Yusheng's father, she can only choose to break up, willing to let him hate her, rather than tell the truth of that year. But her son's illness had to make her bow to reality, and she could only keep showing her vulnerability in front of him, arousing his sympathy, constantly troubleing him, making him hate her more and love her more, so that her son could be saved.
So even if you are hated by a man again, as long as he has ever loved you, you only need to show weakness, you will win back love, trouble a person, for the lover, it is also a sweet burden, he will feel that he is needed.
In normal married life, no matter how strong a person is, don't arm yourself too tightly in front of your lover, showing weakness is not weakness, but it is not easy for the other party to see you. Men are born with a protective desire, which is why chuchu pitiful is always more popular than aggressive. Tan Jing, the girlfriend who has broken up, can make the ex-boyfriend continue to pay for her, not to mention our normal couple.
02. Proper refusal, do as you please
Someone said: "Love is a game of mutual torture, and whoever can't stand it first and wants to pity the other will lose." "Therefore, in a relationship, it is often the person who pays the feelings first, and the person who pays the feelings more will be more passive, because the cost of paying is too high!"
Some women have been circling around men all their lives, paying without any bottom line, and thinking about him everywhere. Even if he hurts you again and again, you will only endure and forgive. You think that way, men will see your giving and keep their love for you consistent. In fact, you are wrong, in two people, the more you pay the more you will cherish this relationship, both men and women, this is the cost of paying.
And the person who is paid, often either naturally becomes a habit, or "has to go in" to feel that he has not paid enough, so women must not fall into the strange circle of continuous giving, but must learn to refuse appropriately, and do it.
The high-ranking woman will certainly not let herself be in this embarrassment, and she refuses and "does" it, without ambiguity.
Men actually like this kind of woman who allows him to challenge in his bones, the more you are on top, the more you refuse, the more he will have a sense of accomplishment after hard work, and the more he can satisfy his desire to conquer.
Actor Yang Zishan has a heavy cleanliness habit. When participating in the variety show "The Man Who Does Housework 2", when the program team came to Yang Zishan's home to install equipment, Yang Zishan would wrap all the furniture in the home in advance with white cloth, and even let the camera team wear isolation clothes to go in and out of the house.
When Yang Zishan's husband Wu Zhongtian was mopping the floor at home, she hated him for not dragging well, thinking that he was not careful enough, and she was angry and had to drag it again. Many netizens said: As for? It's just dragging the floor, too good at doing, getting tired. Wu Zhongtian, on the other hand, kept following Yang Zishan and said with a good temper: "Come, you go to rest, the living room I will help you drag." ”
Yang Zishan ignored him, and Wu Zhongtian still squatted next to Yang Zishan to make her not angry, and took the initiative to admit her mistakes, indicating that everything was his fault and had always made her happy. Wu Zhongtian's attitude towards Li Zishan, many netizens have expressed envy, and now such a patient man is indeed rare. But if Yang Zishan didn't "do" this often, would Wu Zhongtian develop such a good-tempered personality?
Cheng Lisha also made a fierce move in the program recording of "Mother-in-law and Mother". When recording the program, Cheng Lisha's mobile phone crashed, it was a normal crash, just reopen, but she shouted for her husband Guo Xiaodong to come and see, to buy a new mobile phone for her, even Huang Shengyi next to her could not see it.
And the mother-in-law is also the strongest assist of Cheng Lisha's "jingjing", the couple quarrel, no matter whose fault, the mother-in-law is the first time to stand on the side of the daughter-in-law unconditionally support her, which also makes her moved. Of course, occasionally, Cheng Lisha is a very small woman in front of Guo Xiaodong, so Guo Xiaodong will tolerate her infinitely.
In fact, when many people say that others do it, their hearts are envious and jealous, and at the same time, there are ten thousand helplessness: Why don't I have a man who can also let me do it?
In fact, if a man really loves you, what you do, he will think that you are cute, as long as it is not too outrageous, your work, he can tolerate, and his bottom line can really continue to retreat for you, so choose a man who loves you, and then do as much as possible to expand his patience with you, he will love you more.
Love has a shelf life, women do not blindly cater to men, feel that if they love a person, they must pay everything for him, and everything is for his sake. Properly refuse his request, let him feel that you are not indispensable to him: do a proper job, let him feel the incomprehensible you, and the shelf life of your love will be extended.
"What you get is always fearless, and what you don't get is always in turmoil." You have to let him not get it often!"
03. Want to get away with it
In the relationship, many people like to use the trick of "wanting to get away with it", which I also mentioned in the last article when I analyzed the movie "Best Bid". Today I would like to mention the most used example: the peach dream in "Yulou Spring".
Tao Yao met Sun Shijie for the first time, Sun Shijie's carriage hit her, broke her dress, and the beard was sold miserably next to her, but she showed great understanding, said that she would not get in the way, showed her generosity and made Sun Shijie feel pity.
Sun Shijie gave the jade pendant to Tao Yao as a gift, but Tao Yao later took the initiative to return it to him. Sun Shijie came to apologize, and she pretended to be Qinggao, did not accept his money, and performed music for him. After the performance, he talked about his feelings again and made him feel sorry for her. After Sun Shijie took the bait, she began to alienate him again, and he came to her many times, and she behaved lightly.
This trick wants to make Sun Shijie completely fall, so that Sun Shijie even for her, to break with the original match.
Of course, a woman with a green tea physique like Tao Yao, although she got it temporarily with a plan, but in the end she only had a plan, and she did not really fall in love with a person, nor did she want to grow old with people, so the final outcome was of course failure.
And what we call "wanting to get away with it" is only a seasoning agent of the love process, not a staple food, and the root of all techniques must be your love and kindness, if there are no two things, the so-called techniques will be exposed sooner or later.
Because there is love and kindness, so naturally will pinch this degree, will not abuse, because the art of this thing, used well, will make the feelings of the two people to a higher level, too strong, the original intention is not right, and finally will be eaten back, whether men or women are the same.
For the essence of indulgence, you can refer to my last article.
04. Mei Niang said
The interaction between men and women is a game, betting on who will fall in love with each other first and who will love each other a little more than each other. First of all, people who are emotional or love more will be led by the nose of the other party, and women who want to dominate in love must learn some "means".
You must have some purity, but you must also send some signals to the other party, let him take the initiative to pursue you, and cater to your preferences. Have some enthusiasm, but not be enthusiastic about anyone, let him feel that he is the most special one, let him willingly give to you.
And the love that has not experienced mutual torture, too plain is not called love, it can only be called life. Therefore, the so-called "torture" in feelings is not pain, but eroticism, a spice, and a preservative of love.
In "Like a Shadow", it is said:
"Torture yourself, or torture the other person, otherwise it is not love."
And the high-ranking woman's cheats on men are, of course: torture him. Love arises in "torture", and happiness seeps out bit by bit in "torture".
Showing weakness and trouble to him; rejecting him and doing to him; wanting to get away with it are all just a process of torturing him, and the ultimate goal is to have him happily, so pay attention to grasp the degree well.
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