01
Interacting with people is like walking a tightrope, and if we are not careful, we will fall off the tightrope and the relationship will break down.
The relationship between people should be particularly strong, but why is it so fragile? In fact, any relationship is like a fragile mirror, broken, it can not be reunited.
A writer once said that the best relationship should be more inclusive and less calculating.
Of course, a little more tolerance, then many people can do it. But if you don't think about it, it's hard to do it. When the relationship involves personal interests, the relationship does not last long.
The hustle and bustle of the world is all profit, and the world is all profitable.
The interests under the heavens are the driving force of all relations. And the feelings we value often become vulnerable in the face of interests.
To put it nicely, romance can never withstand the shock of reality. To put it mildly, all romance is a pipe dream, and all reality is the truth of the world.
We can't be too naïve about "relationships," but we need to draw a line for ourselves. At the very least, we must not be too blind and naïve, but need to recognize reality.
When interacting with people, even if the relationship is good, you can't say these two words, which will hurt you.
02
In your opinion, what is the most terrible thing in this world?
Are hypocritical feelings terrible? Is the brutal pursuit of profit terrible? Is the dark nature of human nature terrible? Looking at a certain point alone, it is actually not very scary. And on the whole, the "terrible" comes out.
Hypocritical feelings, combined with the pursuit of human interests, are simply the "poison" of interpersonal relations, which is enough to make one party suffer extreme harm.
We can get a formula - false feelings, human greed, the pursuit of interests = human feelings.
In Chinese society, we are often exposed to such a word, human feelings. And this so-called "human feeling" seems to be particularly common, but what we don't know is that it is a combination of human nature and interests.
A sociologist once said that the human condition of a small peasant society is like a rope that binds the freedom of certain people.
For example, if someone else does you a favor, how will you "reciprocate" others? That's hard to do.
You choose to help someone at some point in the future. And others think that I have helped you so much, and you have helped me back these little favors, proving that you have no gratitude. But as a party, you can't reason.
Slowly, the relationship broke down. Friends may turn against each other and become strangers.
It is this simple human feeling that will involve countless human debt, or this so-called love-hate relationship, which will be painful.
03
No matter how good the relationship between people is, it is not easy to talk about "human feelings".
In the folk, there is such a slang saying: "Human feelings belong to human feelings, and the number should be clearly distinguished." ”
When dealing with people, we must explain the principles to others, and at the same time, in the matter of interests, try to be fair and clear, and must not occupy more or less.
More than a decade ago, there were two cousins in the village who did business. They feel that when relatives do business together, they can definitely cooperate with tacit understanding and make a lot of money.
At the beginning of the cooperation, the cousin came out with a piece of land to open a shop, and the cousin came out with 300,000 yuan to decorate and buy equipment, anyway, it was a rich money, no money out of the resources or out of the land.
However, these two people encountered a problem - after making money, how to divide the money?
In order to develop better, they first shelved controversies and contradictions, and made money first. However, after they earned 500,000, they still need to face this problem.
My cousin feels that his land is more valuable and the location is very good, so he should account for 70%. The cousin felt that his 300,000 resources and equipment were the key to the operation of the store, so he had to take the lead.
So the two men quarreled. The result is obvious, that is, the store has closed down, the two sides have shot and scattered, each is fine, and the old and dead do not interact with each other.
In fact, this is the failure of doing business with "human feelings". Human feelings, that is unreliable. Because it is a combination of interests and human nature, it is particularly contradictory.
04
When interacting with people, avoid involving "human feelings".
In the interaction between people, we need to adhere to such a principle, talk about money when we should talk about money, and talk about feelings when we should talk about feelings. If we talk about money and feelings, but about human feelings, this is the choice of self-inflicted suffering.
For example, if you help a relative, and he deals with you at will, I believe that you will resent him in particular.
why? Because he owes you a debt of gratitude, and he can't make you happy. At this time, even if you are close to him, you will choose to keep your distance from him.
When others talk to you about human feelings, you are afraid that you will suffer losses. And if you talk to others about human feelings, others will also be afraid of losing their own losses. In the end, you and he will turn against each other and face each other tit-for-tat.
In this regard, an emotional counselor once said that the best way to maintain a relationship is to deepen it at a certain point.
I have met a pair of good brothers and have been friends for 20 years. According to them, when they interact, they will avoid directly talking about money, but choose to intersect with "affection", anyway, you cherish me, I also cherish you, that is enough.
I like a saying that if the rice is too clear, the rice will not be fragrant; if the meat is washed too clean, the meat will be tasteless.
When people interact with each other, be confused, don't think too much, maybe you and his feelings can be maintained for a longer time.
That's all.
Wen/Shushan has deer