He Suohuan, a writer of gender-emotional psychology, writes sentient stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
Leo Tolstoy wrote this sentence:
"If you love him, then love him as a whole, and love him realistically as he is, rather than loving him in a fantasy out of reality."
In the relationship, many people can't figure out this logic:
Do you love each other, or do you love the way you imagine each other to look?
Do you enjoy the feeling of being with the other person or enjoy his kindness to you?
It is precisely because we often confuse love and affection, do not know why we are with each other, and do not understand what attracts us to the other party.
So, when the relationship comes to an end, we are also hindsight.
But in fact, the end of any relationship is not sudden, but a long-term process.
But on the other hand, some couples love each other in a way that can go to the end at a glance.
Because their love is to love each other from the heart, including each other's strengths and weaknesses.
-01
Worship each other
Zhang Ailing said: "A woman's love for men is adorable. ”
In other words: how do you get girls to like you and then fall in love with you little by little?
The best thing to do is to gradually show your strengths when you get along with girls, let girls appreciate you, and then worship you.
It's like when I was a student, girls liked these two extreme boys.
One is the type of bully, they have strong learning ability, high IQ, can do problems that others will not, and can always surprise girls.
There is also a kind of "bad" boy, although he is naughty and playful, but he has a unique charm that attracts girls.
In the feelings of adults, if you want a girl to love a boy from the bottom of her heart, you must be inseparable from worship.
A woman's nature is to long to find someone who can make her feel safe, trusted, and able to shield her from the wind and rain.
For boys, they will also fall in love with a girl because of "appreciation and attraction".
If the first impression determines whether the boy will pursue the girl, then the charm of the girl determines how long the boy will love her.
When couples get along, only by maintaining a long-term sense of attraction and admiration can the relationship be stable and happy.
Worshipping each other, recognizing each other, and not skimping on their own praise and appreciation, this is the best way for couples to get along.
-02
Pay is synchronous
We often say that feelings are never a thing, and it depends on two people working together.
in other words:
The people who approach you when you succeed are not necessarily reliable, but the people who are still with you when you are down are the people who deserve your cherishing.
Couples who can enter marriage and live a good life have this characteristic.
They never take each other's efforts for granted, let alone force each other to do something embarrassing in the name of love.
Emotional giving, including material giving and emotional giving.
In the process of their love, they will spontaneously and tacitly pay for each other.
Like what:
Birthdays, Valentine's Day, anniversaries and other special holidays will quietly prepare a surprise for each other; perhaps the gift is not expensive, but it can make the other party see that their intentions are good.
In addition to this, there is emotional giving.
You care about me, understand me, comfort me, help me get rid of negative emotions; likewise, I will hurt you, spoil you, and be good to you.
A good relationship must be: pay together, empathetic thinking.
-03
Understanding, coexistence, abandonment and gratitude
understand:
The understanding between couples is not only an empathic ability, but also a heartfelt consideration for each other.
You can understand my thoughts, your stress and emotions, and likewise, I will be aware of your mood changes in time.
coexistence:
We love each other as one; in everything I do, I consider your pros and cons.
Moreover, when couples do everything, they consider the future of two people.
Set a common goal and both work towards that goal.
For example:
Two people plan to save money to buy a house and get married, so they are very tacitly agreeing to reduce their expenses, in order to go further away from marriage.
Abandonment and Gratitude:
How to understand these two words?
For example, couples after marriage.
One person chooses to temporarily give up his career and take care of the children at home full-time, taking on everything in the family; while the other person is outside trying to earn money to support the family, and then help each other share the family's tasks on the rest day.
This is renunciation.
Give up what you love, but make efforts to make the family business better.
Healthy intimate relationships must be willing to make concessions and sacrifices for each other.
What is the state of truly loving someone?
As long as we love each other and can go in a better direction, I am willing to give up what I love.
Gratitude is to keep the other party's efforts and sacrifices in mind.
Whether you have achieved fame or a small career, you will not be proud and complacent, and you will not look at no one.
Because you know that everything you have today is the credit of the silent support of your lover behind your back.
Today's Topic:
What kind of couple do you think will get better and better?
(Article with picture source network)