Haruki Murakami: When others "look down on you," the best thing to do is this

He Suohuan, a writer of gender-emotional psychology, writes sentient stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.

Sooner or later you will understand:

Whether you do it well or badly, you can't satisfy everyone; some people like you, and some people hate you.

People who like you aren't necessarily because of how good you are; people who hate you don't have to because of how bad you are.

Conversely, in relationships, likes and dislikes are relative.

Whether you like or hate a person, you don't need much reason, it is a spontaneous emotion and inner need.

When others look down on you, no matter how hard you try, it is difficult to change the other person's mind.

Living in the opinions of others every day, and caring too much about the eyes and opinions of others will make you cringe and shrink, falling into a state of entanglement and pain.

There is a story:

A man is the typical "good old man" in the village.

The thing he was most proud of was not that he had two excellent children, but that he was called "sir" by the people in the village.

Why do you call him Sir?

Because he is really self-sacrificing, he will do whatever others say.

Others lacked money to spend, so he returned home and gave the money he had saved all year round to the other party, just to listen to the other party say: "Thank you sir, I will definitely return it to you as soon as possible." ”

But he didn't think that his children's college tuition should be paid soon, nor did he think that his wife hadn't bought new clothes for years.

If someone else has something to do at home, he must rush to the front; after a long time, everyone will act in a tacit understanding.

Good things don't call him, bad things put him at the forefront.

He began to flutter, thinking that he was the most powerful, respected by everyone.

But the people in the village only maintained politeness to him on the surface, and behind his back they all called him a "fool".

Of the hundreds of thousands that have been lent out over the years, not a single one has returned it to him.

His family was in a mess, but he was immersed in this "false and nihilistic praise" and could not extricate himself.

What's the point of caring too much about what other people think?

It doesn't make any sense and only adds an invisible shackle to your mind.

Bind you, shackle you, and eventually push you into the abyss.

Even if you please others and show kindness, respect, and kindness to everyone, there are still people who look down on you.

In life, we can't make everyone like themselves.

It's normal to be hated, isolated, or even looked down upon.

But none of this matters, what matters is that you have a firm heart.

If a person's mind is not firm, then he is easily influenced by those around him; what others say, he does, and he has no opinion.

What if you are being looked down upon by others at this moment?

-01

Unmoved, silent

I often hear someone say something like this:

"When others look down on me, I try to live a good life, try to get better and better, and finally make those who look down on me look down on me."

In fact, from the moment you have this idea, you have fallen into the misunderstanding of "I am living for others".

For example:

Do other people have a good life, do they have a dime relationship with you?

Even if the other party is your relative and friend, his life is getting better and better, is he really willing to pull you along without reservation?

On the other hand, when you are at the best stage of your life, will you still want to help the people around you?

Even if you want to help, how many can you help?

It's all the same.

When people are good, most of them will only think about themselves;

When people have a bad time, they will covet what others have.

What is a person's greatest sorrow?

Live for others and try to prove it to others.

Like what:

A boy who has been in love with his girlfriend for many years and finally kicked by his girlfriend is on the grounds that he is poor and cannot give a good life to girls.

Therefore, the boy worked hard and determined to live hard and make himself a rich man.

In the end, he got his wish and walked up to his ex-girlfriend and transformed himself.

He found that the look in his ex-girlfriend's eyes was no different, and there was no wavering because he became rich.

This state is the saddest.

Others don't care if you're doing well or not, and you desperately try to prove to others that others are still unmoved; isn't that a sense of frustration for you?

If you are being looked down upon at the moment, don't worry.

Haruki Murakami wrote this passage in "Dance Dance":

"From today on, you're going to be a quiet person. No emotion, no looking back, no going to live your own other life. You see, not all fish live in the same sea. ”

Life is like the sea.

There is not only you in this sea, but also others; there is so much water in the world, who can live in the same water all the time?

The more you care about other people's opinions and off with people who don't deserve it, the more it will drain your energy.

-02

Instead of pleasing others, please yourself

There is a "mustang effect" in psychology.

There's a story behind this:

There is a species of bat on the steppe that specializes in sucking the blood of mammals for a living.

These bats stare at wild horses in the grasslands and parasitize wild horses to suck blood.

In fact, the amount of bats sucked will not cause substantial harm to wild horses.

The Mustang eventually "died violently" because of its anger, anxiety and rage.

In the process of being sucked by bats, wild horses will feel uncomfortable, become irritable, and make a big liver fire; so the wild horses have been running wildly on the grassland, trying to shake the bats away.

But the more he threw it away, the tighter the bat clung to it; if he could calm down, the bat would soon leave and fly away.

This effect illustrates a truth:

Because of a little thing, a big fuss, a big fire, anger and anxiety, and finally let yourself have a certain bad situation.

This is tantamount to "punishing yourself" with the faults of others.

It's like:

Someone else has done something wrong, but you are "angry and sorry for their misfortune", and you should not be angry about it.

So emotional management is really important.

Because of the anger and anxiety of other people's things, in the end, they wasted their own time and let themselves bear some bad consequences.

Figure what?

The same is true of being looked down upon by others.

It doesn't matter if others look down on you, it doesn't matter, can it cause you any harm?

At the end of the day, those who look down on you may also be jealous of you.

Today's Topic:

What do you do when you are looked down upon?

(Article with picture source network)