01
The ancients said: "Don't use the third master, abolish the post and die the family." ”
In ancient times, the people who entered the workplace were mainly men, and women were at home to marry and teach their children. Therefore, the third master refers to the young master, the aunt, the uncle, and in layman's terms, it is the son, son-in-law, wife and brother.
In today's gender equality, everyone can enter the workplace, and there are many women, who do not let their eyebrows be shaved, and become an example for us to learn. Therefore, we must expand the words of the ancients.
There is a way that there are 80,000 words in the world, and only the word "love" hurts the most.
In the workplace, don't be emotional, learn to be "ruthless", keep your distance from the following three kinds of people, and don't confuse work and family.
02
First, keep your distance from your children and force them to be independent.
In many families, parents are eager to give everything to their children, and no matter what their children do, they think they are right. In the eyes of parents, children are the best people in the world, even if there is a fault, they can get unlimited tolerance.
Nie Danian, an official of the Ming Dynasty, said: "Short is not protected, and short is ultimately short; long is not to be reserved, and it is not long." ”
A person's shortcomings should not be maintained, but should dare to correct them; a person's strengths should not be proud and should continue to be carried forward.
Short-term protection, which looks like love, is actually a manifestation of coddling, which will raise the child.
In traditional thinking, we think of the idiom "the son inherits the father's inheritance".
It is best for fathers to occupy a certain position and pass it on to their sons and daughters. In this way, the efforts have not been in vain.
Personal wealth can be handled by oneself, but position and power in the workplace cannot be handled by oneself. If not, it becomes "short protection".
The Ming Dynasty minister Yan Song, in order to expand his own power, tried his best to promote his son Yan Shifan. Father and son unite to exclude those who oppose themselves.
The writer Feng Menglong once wrote such a story: Yan Shifan set up a banquet and invited officials in the capital to drink, and everyone did not dare to speak casually.
During the banquet, Yan Shifan and Ma Doujiu gave Shi Doujiu. Because the horse never drank, he refused. Yan Shifan said, "In this way, I will pour wine from your ears." ”
Shen Lian, the official present, couldn't see it and helped the horse block a glass of wine. He also said, "Others are afraid of you, but I am not afraid of you." ”
Afterwards, Yan Song banded together and falsely accused Shen Lian of being a member of the White Lotus Sect and framed him.
In the end, Yan Song's father and son were condemned as traitors of the Ming Dynasty, leaving a stink for thousands of years.
Long Yingtai wrote in "Eye Sending": "The father-daughter mother-son relationship only means that your fate with him is that you are constantly watching his back drift away in this life and this life. ”
Your children are grown up and entered the workplace, and your task is complete. The road ahead should be given to the children to walk for themselves. The best help you can give them is to remind them to follow the rules and produce results.
04
Second, keep your distance from your son-in-law and daughter-in-law, and first examine his character.
From the appearance, the son-in-law and daughter-in-law are their own families, but in fact, they have the "outsider" factor in it.
It is a long process for son-in-law and daughter-in-law to become sons and daughters.
Even if you want to help them, you must see their character and make plans; in addition, you must see whether the marriage of the children is strong, and if the son-in-law and daughter-in-law use marriage to seek status and money, they must have an extra heart.
In the fortieth volume of the "Awakening to the Everlasting Word", there is such a storyline: on the day of Chongyang Festival, Yan Dudu of Hongdu took the lead and invited a group of literati to write a major event of "Tengwangge Biography" in good faith.
At the beginning, Yan Dudu hinted to everyone that this article was written for his son-in-law Wu Zizhang.
The poet Wang Bo sat in it and pointed out the loopholes in Wu Zizhang's article on the spot. Governor Yan Du immediately woke up, so that he did not make a big mistake.
Later, Wang Bo left a sentence: "The sunset and the lone bird fly together, and the autumn water is always the same color." "Tengwang Pavilion has therefore been passed down through the ages.
Seriously think about it, son-in-law and daughter-in-law are not a family, they must be loved and protected, but also have a scale, do not neglect their character and knowledge because of love.
Keep your distance and observe not far away, and you will find that your daughter-in-law and son-in-law have advantages and disadvantages, and it is the best policy to help them make the most of their strengths and avoid their weaknesses and make achievements.
05
Third, keep your distance from your wife or husband's siblings and ignore the pillow wind.
It is said that brothers love and friends, and brothers respect and obey.
Brothers and sisters are like brothers and sisters, without whom, the family is incomplete; if they turn against each other, they will start infighting and show jokes to outsiders.
Therefore, we all look forward to the development of brothers and sisters in groups, sitting around their parents and enjoying the warmth of the family.
But the workplace is not a family, nor is it a family business. Work cannot be analyzed with emotion and weighed against pros and cons.
In the Tang Dynasty, Yang Guozhong, the brother of Yang Guifei, sat in the position of prime minister by virtue of his status as a relative of the emperor and the state. However, his character, knowledge, and status did not match, hurting the interests of the court and the people.
In the story of "Li Who Immortal Drunken Grass Frightening Barbarian Book" written by Feng Menglong, the poet Li Bai wrote a sentence: "It is rare to ask the Han Palace; poor Fei Yan leans on new makeup." ”
It was seen by Yang Guozhong and Yang Guifei, which was interpreted as "comparing Yang Guifei to Zhao Feiyan who betrayed love", so Yang Guifei blew the wind in front of Tang Xuanzong, causing Li Bai to be alienated and then leave the imperial court.
Generally speaking, your brothers and sisters, you are more familiar, so when recommending, you will be sure; the brothers and sisters of the lover, you do not know enough, keep a distance, do not easily believe the words of the lover.
There is a way that seeing is believing, and hearing is false. Don't transfer the feelings of husband and wife to brothers and sisters, there is a difference between family affection and love.
Many units have established a "recusal" system, that is, to remind us to keep a distance from relatives and not to act with affection.
If a person wants to go far, achievements and character are stepping stones.
Even if you have started your own company, or have a family business, you must handle the relationship between your relatives well, learn to be "ruthless", and calculate your income and responsibilities. As the saying goes, "Brothers, settle accounts." ”
In the workplace, what people are most afraid of is not to argue, but to do bad things with good intentions.
In the workplace, the worst thing is not criticism, but you and I.
Keeping a distance from your loved ones is the truest love.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.