Classmates met me online and asked, "What books have you been reading recently?" I said, "Look at the Analects." He said, "After reading the Analects, you shouldn't be friends with me." I asked, "Why?" He said, "Doesn't the first chapter of the Analects say, 'He who has no friends is inferior to himself'?" I said, "That's how you understand it." The classmate's words with self-effacing and ridiculous elements aroused my thinking about "those who have no friends and are not as good as themselves".
"He who has no friends is inferior to himself" is a controversial sentence in the Analects, and its understanding and translation by ancient and modern scholars vary greatly. Zhu Xi believes that it is "do not make friends with people who are inferior to yourself." Zhu Xi commented on this in the Commentary on the Analects: "Friends are therefore assistants, but they are not as good as themselves." It is not beneficial and harmful. In the Qing Dynasty Liu Baonan's Analects of Justice, he said: "Zhou Gongyue said: 'Those who are inferior to me, I do not deal with me, and those who harm me are also; those who are equal to me, I am not with me, and those who do not benefit me are also. He whom I am and whoever deals with me will be wise to me. There are also those who think that "no friend will be inferior to yourself in every way." Nan Huaijin wrote in the Analects of Discourse: "Don't look down on any person, don't think that any person is inferior to yourself. ”
Li Zehou said in the Analects of the Present Reading: "'Those who have no friends are inferior to themselves', as their own, they should see the advantages of their friends, that is, others always have better places than themselves, and they do not really go to make friends who are inferior to themselves, or the friends they make are more than themselves." It is also believed to mean "not to make friends with people who are different from themselves." The Analects, University, and Zhongyong, published by Zhonghua Bookstore in March 2011 and translated by Chen Xiaofen and Xu Ruzong, explains that it means "do not make friends with people who are different from yourself." Ji Xianlin said in the "New Works of The Elderly": "Confucius said: 'He who has no friends is better than himself.'" The word 'such' has two interpretations: one is 'as'; the other is 'catching up'. I take the former. ”
Although the meaning of "do not make friends with people who are inferior to oneself" is understood, there is a logical problem that no one can make friends, but I still prefer this explanation. In the "Sayings of Confucius", there is: "Zi Yue: 'It is better to be a merchant with those who are virtuous, and it is better to give or to say that it is not as good as oneself.' He does not know that his son regards his father, that his people regard his friends, that his king regards his envoys, and that he does not know his grass and trees. Therefore, it is known that living with good people, such as entering the room of Zhilan, and not smelling its fragrance for a long time, that is, dissolving with it. Living with unkind people, such as entering the abalone wanton, for a long time without smelling its smell, but also dissolving with it. Where Dan hides is red, and where lacquer is hidden, it is black that a gentleman must be careful of what he does. From this passage, it can be seen that Confucius believed that those who were close to ink were black and close to Zhu were red, and that he advocated making friends with people who were more capable than himself, like Shang Jizixia.
It is often heard that people who play chess say that they are strong when they are strong, and weak when they are weak. Is this all self-aggrandizement? This is not always the case in real life. Playing chess with people who are stronger than themselves, people will be like a great enemy, devote themselves to battle, and often stimulate their potential and play at a higher level. However, when playing chess with people below their own level, people will be very sluggish, often fainting. This is all infected and driven by the opponent.
People can't do without circles, and the circle of friends has a huge impact on people's subtlety. In the circle of friends who are motivated by kindness, people who are originally not self-motivated will also become vigorous, and getting along with depressed friends may also be unconsciously contaminated by bad breath.
As Mozi said, "Not only do you have dyeing in your country, but also dyeing in your soldiers." His friends are all benevolent and righteous, and they are afraid of orders, then the family is growing, the body is safe, the name is prosperous, and the officials are reasonable, then duanganmu, poultry, and Fu said that the disciples are also. His friends are all very reserved, and their creations are more than Zhou, then the family is losing day by day, the body is in danger, the reputation is being humiliated, and the officials are unreasonable, then the zixi, the yiya, and the disciples of the vertical knife are also. "Some people may say that even in the circle of friends who pursue comfortable and hedonistic pleasures, there are also people who will come out of the mud without staining and always adhere to their ideals and ambitions." Compared with mutual support and promotion with others, a person who moves forward alone and endures the incomprehension and cold eyes of others needs to be very strong in his heart. How many people can withstand loneliness and refuse all kinds of temptations? What are the odds of sticking to the end?
Of course, "don't make friends with people who are inferior to yourself", if everyone makes friends according to this principle, I am afraid that only those who are "evenly matched" can become friends. Half a pound to eight two, however, this is also very realistic, in real life, it is difficult for people with uneven shoulders to maintain long-term friendship. In any case, choosing a true friend, I think, should be lacking or indiscriminate.