[Russian] | B· M. Shukshin by Yitian | translate
Young law graduate, young employee of the public prosecutor's office, young Georgy Konstantinovich Vaganov, from the morning he had a good mood, yesterday he received a letter ... It was written by Maya Yakukina, who was of the same grade. The girl has a well-defined face and an arrogant temperament, like a wooden doll made by a master. Vaganov wants everyone to find out, but there is nothing to be clear about, that is, he likes Maya Yakukina. There are 4 young people in their grade who like Maya, and in their final year of college, Maya marries a genius physicist. But Vaganov could not accuse her, nor could he be dissatisfied, first: he did not have this right; second: what could he accuse her? Vaganov always knew that he was not worthy of the Maya. Regrets, of course... However, perhaps there will be no regrets, because he has received letters from Maya, like the path of destiny, he will soon follow this path.
Maya wrote in the letter that there was a rift in her family life, that she was now free and wanted to use her vacation to see her country for herself. And asked: "Dear Giola, remember our friendship?" Let's meet at the station and let me stay with you for a week, I've always wanted to go there, okay? "She went on to write that she had a great opportunity to reconsider herself and the life around her." Oh-oh-oh, easy, dear, it's easy. Young Vaganov thought satisfactorily, "Wait for me to calculate it first." ”
Putting the letter in his briefcase, young Vaganov picked up the bag and went to work. He wanted to write back to Maya at work, and if he couldn't, he would go home at night and write back to Maya. He searched for words that were appropriate to write in the letter, how to make the reply seem simple, generous, and clever. He thought of something, felt bad, and began to search again... Vaganov went into the office and at once found a few ready-made pieces of paper, intending to write a letter. But then the office door slowly creaked... Behind the door carefully revealed a man's bald head.
"Can you disturb me?"
Vaganov paused, hid his disappointment, and said, "Please come in." ”
"Hello." The man was about 50 years old, tall thin, with long arms, and a little overwhelmed.
"Sit down."
"I brought the appraisal." The man said and was happy because his hands had found something to do. He anxiously took out something in his jacket pocket, the one he called identification.
"What appraisal?"
"About my wife... I want to explain..."
"Are you Popov?"
"Yes."
"What are you trying to explain?" Can you please explain why you fight? Why beat up wives and neighbors? What is identification about? ”
Popov had taken out the identification stand in the middle of the office.
"Oh, give me the identification."
Popov took out two pieces of paper and handed them over, and stood back in the middle of the office again and waited.
After Vaganov read it, he raised his head and said, "Popov, this cannot change the nature of things." ”
"Why can't it be changed?"
"Can't change. You're writing here how bad she is. Let's take an example to make us believe you, how? ”
"What does that mean?" Popov was surprised. "She deliberately detained me for 15 days and nights. Lock me up, and she herself... I knew it all, and Korolev told me it all. In fact, Korolev did not say that I knew, she herself told me. ”
"What did you say?"
"She said it!" Popov said confidently, "You, stay here, I'm going to live with Mishka." ”
"Oh... What the? Did she just say that? ”
"Yes, that's the way it is!" Popov said again, "She said she deliberately provoked me to go and live with Miška. ”
"She said she was deliberately angry with you?"
"Yes."
"Oh, I don't know..." Young Vaganov really didn't know what to do, and it seemed that the man was talking about the painful truth. Maybe the next divorce will be.
"What do I do now?" Divorced? She was given a house by court, but the children have not yet grown up, and I feel sorry for them..."
"How many children do you have?"
"Three, the youngest is only 7 years old. I love him to death... I can't win my wife in that regard. ”
"Listen!" Vaganov said, "Here I am your friend, and I don't know how to suggest it. You say, can you live with her after that? ”
"Yes." Popov said firmly. "Let her go to hell."
"I don't understand what you think?"
"I want them to calm this down."
"What is that 'appraisal report'?"
"They may feel that this is good for them and will put this matter to rest."
"How did you get married?" After a moment of silence, Vaganov asked.
"How did you get married?" Like the average person. I came back from the battlefield, she worked in the village shop, and I knew her for a long time. ”
"You live here?"
"Stay here. There is no one in my hometown anymore. ”
"So where is your wife now?"
Popov looked at the prosecutor questioningly: "Where do you work?" There, the shops in the village. ”
"Going to work now?"
"Who taught you to write an appraisal report?"
"No one taught it, I wrote it myself." The man answered.
"Well, leave it to me. I try to convince your wife. ”
Popov opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but just looked at Vaganov, nodded obediently, and walked out gently.
Only Vaganov was left alone in the room, standing alone, looking at the door. Then he sat down again, looked at the white paper he was going to use to write letters, and asked in his heart, "Oh, Maya, what are we going to do next?"
"Cough, hell yeah." Vaganov said angrily. Then I thought, "Let's write a letter at night." ”
The prosecutor came to the shop in Popova's village.
Popova was a beautiful middle-aged woman who was not timid by the prosecutor's arrival and immediately declared that she knew the law and that she knew the law to protect herself.
"Can you imagine, Comrade Vaganov, I live with him not at all happy, he knows only to drink, like a hooligan. An uncultured fool. ”
"Yes, yes." Vaganov beckoned the woman to come forward, "Misbehaving." Didn't he know it was serious! ”
"He forgot everything in this world!" Don't remember anything. ”
"It's just, is it okay for the children to lose their fathers?"
"What's that?" They're big now. ”
"Has he always been like this?"
"How's it going?"
"Oh, fight with people like a rogue!"
"No, he used to drink too, but it would be quiet. Since last year, I have been jealous of Mikhail. ”
"Who is Mikhail?"
"Our neighbors. Moved in last year... Work as a driver in the village. ”
"Is he a man?"
"It's like this, after they moved in, the house they used to live in hasn't been sold. His wife didn't like it here, but Mikhail liked it. He is an avid fisherman and we are a great place to fish here. They lived in two places, planting vegetable gardens over there, and here... So his wife went on a trip..."
"So..." Vaganov was fully convinced that Popov was right, "your husband wrote here that you told him directly that you were going to live with Mishka. The "appraisal report" did not actually write this, but Vaganov remembered that Popov said this, and pretended to read it. "Is that so?"
"That's what he wrote?" Popova protested loudly. "This brazen man! Actually said that..." The woman even laughed. "Oh, he said that!"
"He lied?"
"He's lying."
"A woman of faith." Vaganov thought a little annoyedly and said, "You detained him?" ”
"He should be locked up." Georgi Konstantinov Vaganov, you do nothing, you do nothing. Let him come back. ”
"Don't you feel sorry?" Vaganov said reluctantly.
Popova looked at the young man and asked, "What do you mean?" ”
"Nothing." Vaganov stared at the woman and said, "You can go." ”
The woman "hmmmed", stood up and walked toward the door, then turned her head again... Vaganov kept looking at her: "I forgot to ask, why did you have children so late?" ”
The woman returned to the table and sat down. "I'm not pregnant." She said, "For some reason I didn't get pregnant, and that was it, and then I got pregnant again, what's wrong?" ”
"Nothing, let's go." Vaganov said it again.
The woman walked to the door...
"That's right." The prosecutor seemed to remember something again, "Who is..." He pretended to look for the name of a man popov had mentioned in the document, although the name did not exist. "Who is Nikolai Korolev?"
"God!" The woman stopped at the door. "Korolev? My first drinking buddy, who would believe his words! "The woman was very confused.
"What's wrong with him, did he register as an alcoholic?" Korolev? ”
The woman wanted to go back to the table again and talk about Korolev, and it was clear that she knew it was her most vulnerable place.
"Comrade Vaganov! They're just good friends with me, together in the war..."
"Oh, okay, you go."
Vaganov fell into deep thought and suddenly saw the pieces of paper waiting to write the letter.
Maya.....distant names, spring names, beautiful names... Finally, you can start writing beautiful sentences, sentence after sentence, sentence after sentence, there is a lot to write. However, the excitement of the morning diminished a lot after experiencing popov. "Let's write it at night!" Vaganov decided again, "Stupid thing. Because of youth, personal emotions and work will always interfere with each other. It would have been easier to treat them separately. ”
In the evening, Vaganov closed the door, turned off the radio, sat down at his desk and began to write letters. But popov and his hot wife appeared before his eyes. Like a curse. Vaganov felt like he was going crazy.
Vaganov sat motionless at the table... He took a piece of paper again and continued to sit. No, it can't be in written form, so there's no soul like it, there's no certainty, maybe something will happen afterwards. Let's start writing letters. Instead of writing verses like poems, we tell her, "Honey, what do you bring and what you will get?" That's it.
At 4 a.m., Vaganov finished writing a long letter. The streets had begun to light up, and the open windows were covered with a layer of cold air. Vaganov leaned against the window and lit a cigarette. He was tired from writing letters. He had only made up his mind to officially begin writing in the twelfth time, and he was too tired to read the letter now. Still, after he finished his cigarette, he sat down and read the letter again.
"Maya! Your letter bothers me so much that I have been thinking about it for two days in a row, and I ask myself, what is it? But I can't answer. I ask you, what is this? Maya? Stay with me for a week? - For God's sake! You know how I treat you... It seems to tell me that I still love you as much as I used to. In this case, I have the right to say what I think of you, and to myself. Maya, you want to escape from your life? Come to me? But where should I run away then? I had nowhere to go, but I knew I wanted to escape. So I asked myself again, like interrogation, what is this, Maya? Please, write me another letter and tell me the answer. ”
Vaganov wrote this at the beginning of the letter. He leaned against the table. He even felt his heart ache because of his own stupidity and helplessness. He asked himself over and over again what it was, but he couldn't get an answer. "Hey, Maya, I'm a coward. Maya. ”
He crumpled the letter into a ball and threw it out the window. Then he lay on the bed and closed his eyes tightly.
When walking to work in the morning, Vaganov felt very tired. He liked Maya but was afraid to approach her. He is afraid of responsibility, afraid of not having freedom, afraid that he will not be strong and active in future plans in the future. "Now let's see how positive you are." He said to himself, "Walk and see." ”
As soon as he started working, he sent a message to Popov. Popov soon came, still carefully standing outside the door and looking in.
"Come in." Vaganov shook his hand and sat him in a chair, while he himself sat next to him.
"What's your name?"
"Paul."
"Well, what about home?"
Popov was silent, looking at the prosecutor with gray eyes.
"It seems like nothing... Right? Popov asked.
"Did you tell your wife?"
"We haven't spoken for a week."
"Then did you see any change in her?"
"See." Popov smiled, "Last night she looked at me for half a day and asked me: 'Did you go to the prosecutor?'" I said go. ”
"What did she say?"
"Didn't say anything. I won't talk anymore. ”
"They got the application before." Vaganov said, "There is another daunting challenge, perhaps more than once... I think. ”
"Excellent." Popov said, "Let her go to hell." She wasn't young anymore. ”
"Paul." Vaganov suddenly began to meditate on his own affairs and said, "I want to hear your opinion..." Vaganov heard a voice say to himself, "Don't be ashamed, it's like a boy asking his uncle for advice, it's not ridiculous, he won't laugh at you either!" ”
"I have a woman, Paul... No, it's not. There is a woman in this world, and I love her. She was married, and now she and her husband are divorced, and give me hints..." At this moment Vaganov still felt some embarrassment, "In short, that's it, I love this woman, but I am afraid to communicate with her." ”
"Why is that?" Popov asked.
"Just be afraid, she's like this... It's like being with your wife. I was afraid to be with her. She loves a fun-rich life and everything I do has to satisfy her. ”
"Oh, how can this be?" Popov said, "It's necessary. Life is friendly, all together, sad, happy..."
"Yes, I know all of this, I know it all."
"So what else?"
Vaganov lost the desire to speak further and began to be troubled: "I know, how people should live, everyone knows. But if I knew I loved her and knew she would never be my friend again... Is your wife your friend? ”
"It's my stuff!"
"What 'my stuff'? All people are the same, all want to have a good life, don't you need friends in your life? ”
"I said, Comrade Vaganov." Finally Popov finally understood, "I kept wondering why they always said that people don't know how to live." But you see, every family has differences of opinion. Why is that? Because you don't get any expectations in women. ”
"Then why are we getting married?" Vaganov asked, and he was surprised by Popov's idea.
"That's another problem." Popov spoke firmly, "Yes, maybe I should think about it." Popov paused and continued, "Families need men, and if a home is emptied to zero, who will love our children?" Love for children is a power that allows you to put up with all women. ”
"But there are normal families."
"Yes, where?" That's all pretending. ”
"Yikes!" Vaganov grew more and more surprised, "That's a pretty dark side. What kind of life is this? ”
"Therefore, improve your lifestyle, not self-deception. What kind of friend is she? What do you think? Thanks, at least they have children, so there is no need to resent them. In speaking of his ideas, Popov was firm and calm. Vaganov realized that this was the truth and hope — all, complete.
"This, this." Vaganov said, "No, Popov, this is just what happened to you, still not all." ”
Popov shrugged, "You ask me, and I'll tell you what I think!" ”
"It's a fact, it's a fact, I don't argue, but it..."
"Of course, everybody told me to say 'Popov, don't get married, it's a mistake'. What can I do? I'm still going to keep doing my thing. That's how it exists. ”
"Yes, yes." Vaganov agreed. "It's a fact, well, okay." He stood up, and So did Popov.
"Goodbye, Paul. I think they'll get their own applications. It's just you..."
"No, Comrade Vaganov!" Popov said, "It's stupid that this thing won't happen again." They feel ashamed, and I feel ashamed. ”
"Oh, goodbye."
"Goodbye."
Popov closed the door and left, and Vaganov sat down at his desk and quickly began to write. He had already decided to send a telegram to Maya while talking to Popov: "Come on. No luxurious rooms waiting to meet you. Georgi. ”
After Vaganov finished writing, he read it again. He felt he could no longer continue working today. He cleaned up a bit, then left a note: "I'm not feeling well, I'm going home." ”
Vaganov walked home, humming a song in a low voice.
The weather was comfortable today—it was just summer, it wasn't hot, and the air was sweet, warm, without the slightest smell of dust.
Vaganov turned and walked in the direction of the post office. Picked up a pen at the telegraph window and wrote down the address of the Maya ... And in the form he wrote, "Come on." Then he stared at this sentence for a long time, and then he threw the telegram into the wastepaper basket again.
"You changed your mind?" The woman in the window asked.
"I don't remember the address." When Vaganov had finished speaking, he turned around and walked back home firmly.
"I learned how to lie?" Vaganov thought to himself, "I didn't blink an eye. ”
Translator's Profile: Yi Tian, studied in the Department of Journalism of Moscow University, graduated with a master's degree, has published more than 100,000 words of translations, and is now engaged in media work.
One Point Heart Dream Literature