23 February at 20:00 p.m
Doctor of Oncology, Peking Union Medical College, Attending Physician of Beijing Chaoyang Hospital
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The host Lu Yu said this:
"Whoever we are, we have experienced or are experiencing the darkest moments of our lives."
Yes, there is no one in the world who has not experienced darkness.
In life, everyone will experience a very difficult time, or a failed relationship, or a work failure, or a family difficulty.
In the trough, there is often only self-crossing.
In life, during those bleak days, you need to hold your own torch and light it up.
When life is a pool of stagnant water, make some changes to it;
Find an outlet for emotions when they affect life;
When you are confused, find sustenance for the spirit.
These three keys may be able to help you calmly break the deadlock in life when you are in the trough.
The writer Sanmao once told such a story:
One day, a fan of the book sign "Unhappy Girl" wrote a letter to Sanmao.
The letter mentions that she is the lowest clerk of a unit, rarely social, no opposite sex pursuits, life is very bleak, life is very poor, life is very humble, feel that she has no value.
This girl, who was in urgent need of someone else to pull a hand, attracted the attention of Sanmao.
Sanmao soon returned a letter to the girl, in which he made many very useful suggestions.
For example, nicely furnished rooms.
Paint the walls bright white, make a beautiful curtain on the window, put an ordinary radio at the head of the bed, make a simple bookshelf in the corner, change the light bulb with a warm lampshade, and pick a few pots of pleasant bonsai to put in the window.
Simply decorating the living environment to your liking is the first step to enjoy life and change your mood.
Then, when it comes to paying, you can add a few new clothes to yourself, go to the barbershop to trim the hairstyle that has not changed all year round, change your look, and give yourself a refreshing happiness.
Next month, get paid, pick yourself up a few suitable cosmetics, or buy a new pair of shoes.
When you have time, you can even invite friends to sit in the accommodation and talk about their lives and dreams.
Step by step to make some changes to your life, slowly, the low mood will definitely improve.
Gradually, you will find that life can be very happy.
When you are in a low valley, you can't rely on others to save yourself.
"Trees die, people live", depression is useless, only by making changes to the past, you will have a new life.
The beauty of the world is always interlinked.
Today, you use a new way of life to face the future life, tomorrow's life will also bring you many unexpected surprises.
Man, it is better to go forward than to stagnate.
When you get to the willow and the dark flowers, you may sigh that you should have started earlier.
Perhaps many people have suffered losses from out-of-control emotional management.
When I first graduated, I also tried once, and almost ruined a friendship because of my stinky temper, but fortunately, I found an outlet for my emotions in time and survived.
At that time, I was very disappointed because my skills test results did not meet the expected goals.
When I went to play with my girlfriend Xiao Xiao, I would be weird with her yin and yang, and I would have no love for her, and no matter what she proposed to do, I would show no interest.
At that time, I could clearly feel that Xiao Xiao's mood was affected by me, but the disappointment in my heart covered my sanity, and I only cared about my own sadness and did not consider the feelings of the other party at all.
Originally, I thought that we would each hide a breath in our stomachs and sullenly go back home.
But Xiao Xiao suddenly pulled me into an ice skating rink.
At first, I was not very willing to twist and squeeze, but Xiao Xiao pushed me into the field.
When I saw those fast-sliding figures, I was really moved.
A skate down, full of energy, as if to find an outlet for their emotions, the previous depression has been thrown out of the cloud nine, the whole person has become a lot more relaxed.
In fact, people at the low point, there are negative emotions, there is nothing wrong with it, but this is not a reason to vent emotions indiscriminately.
We have to learn to use the appropriate method to find an outlet for it. Like what:
confide.
The object of the conversation can be family members or close friends, but it is necessary to grasp a principle, that is, "do not do to others what you do not want", pay attention to grasp the right measure, and stop at the right time.
Write it down.
You can write a diary, you can also send a circle of friends, set a privacy mode. Through some simple recording methods, the inner depression can be expressed, so that the effect of pouring out the heart can be achieved, and it can also avoid causing trouble to others.
Go to exercise.
Exercise is the best medicine to solve your troubles. By sweating, negative emotions are discharged along with the beads of sweat. Move, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, maybe you can save your unhappiness.
There are many ways, as long as you find an outlet for emotions, you find a breakthrough out of the trough.
Life isn't as good as we think it is, but it's not as bad either.
Take care of your mood and everything won't feel too bad.
Even if you are at the trough of life at the moment, you will have the confidence to bottom out and rebound.
Zhihu netizen Xiaoyu shared a story:
A few years ago, when Xiaoyu was a graduate student in Beijing, he met a good boy.
They have been dating for two years and intend to get married after graduation.
But just after graduating, he was split by his boyfriend.
She had planned to open a bookstore in Beijing with her boyfriend to run the days ahead.
But the boyfriend's cheating surprised her.
At that time, Xiaoyu did not have much savings, and if he single-handedly opened a bookstore in Beijing, it could only be a fantasy.
In a long period of time, the little fish often feel confused, wandering and anxious, do not know where the direction is, do not know how to get themselves out of this predicament.
But the little fish loves to read books, and also likes to dig up old books.
One day, by chance, she passed an old book stall, which made her suddenly have an idea, that is, to split the dream, reduce the expectations, and start with the book stall.
So she went to work during the day and set up a book stall at night.
The days were busy, but very fulfilling.
Most importantly, she found her own spiritual sustenance.
Do what you like to do, let the soul no longer cling to anyone, and slowly, the little fish gradually comes out of the trough under the healing of time.
In fact, everyone will have a low point in life.
Some things are not satisfactory, do not need to stumble to the end, instead of competing, waste time on what has already happened, it is better to do what you want to do the most.
There may be difficulties, but there is joy in going in an inch.
People live their whole lives, but later.
Sad things are always in the past, so only when people move forward can the past things fall backward with the years.
At the low point, it is most necessary to find a sustenance for your spirit, less whimsy, keep yourself busy, do what you have always wanted to do but have not yet done, and fill your life to the fullest.
In the trough, finding sustenance is like finding hope and security.
Even if the valley floor is pitch black, you can safely follow the path of hope.
There is a saying: "It is difficult to be poor and difficult to be a person, and it is never naïve to be innocent without being hit."
After a trough, tomorrow will not be dimmed. If you fall, don't lie on the ground for too long.
Life has no vitality, make some changes to it;
Too many negative emotions, give it an outlet;
Encounter the cold tide of life, find a sustenance for the spirit.
As long as there is sunshine in the heart, it will be able to grow towards the sun.
Of all things, hope is the most beautiful.
In the darkest moments of life, "mourning" is easy, but it is even cooler to continue to love life against everything.
Difficulties are always short-lived, it is like a short dream in the night, and when dawn comes, it disappears.
When you have enthusiasm and love, invest enough enthusiasm in life.
Don't be bothered by the trivialities in front of you, block the heart, let the spirit have attachment, the soul has a destination, look up at the sun, there is light in the eyes, the new day, will become steaming, very cute.
The calmness and calmness after experiencing the trough will become the biggest confidence for us to ride the wind and waves in the future.
We do not fail the starlight, and the starlight will not fail us.
The author | Yihua
The anchor | Yanan, radio anchor
Pictures | Visual China