Text/Su Xin
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The word "Dink" originates in the West and means those who do not want to have children. With the liberation of people's ideological concepts, more and more of us have followed this concept of Westerners.
But some people say that Westerners choose to be dink to make their lives better, but we choose to be dink to avoid living a worse life.
After graduating from college, her friend had been transferred to big cities such as Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, etc., under the pressure of difficult employment and high prices, she suddenly had an idea, in this life, she only had to take care of herself, because she knew that raising children would cost a huge amount of energy and cost, so she decided not to waste time on children.
She was able to do so because there was no shortage of children in her family, her brother married earlier than her, the children were already in kindergarten, and the pressure to raise children was also what she saw with her brothers and sisters. Therefore, the hearing and the eye color made her even more determined not to have children.
She told her brother and sister that she would treat their children as her own children, she could give him the best material life, and her brothers and sisters could give him the best companionship, so that adults could live easily, and children could get more materially and spiritually.
Friends think that her decision is right, the nephew is actually equivalent to half a son, what other children do she want?
But as her nephew grew older, she found that the child only regarded her as a good aunt, enjoying everything she brought to herself, but always keeping a distance from her. On the other hand, the sister-in-law also seems to be deliberately instilling a kind of "only mothers are good in the world" to her son, afraid that as an aunt, she will one day snatch her son.
Later, a friend saw a news story, saying that it was an elderly man, when he was young, he did not want to have children, so he recognized his nephew as a son to raise, and as a result, he was sick and hospitalized, and he needed a huge surgical fee, but the nephew refused to sell the house to save the old man's life.
The friend suddenly realized that he had made a mistake in his wishful thinking, that he had no gift of procreation, and that he could hope to win over his nephew's heart with only a small favor.
Therefore, she finally understood a truth, people should never pin their hopes on others, nephews should not regard him as a son no matter how close they are, and no matter how good their husband is, they should not regard him as an eternal dependence, and a person's happiness and sense of security will eventually be given to themselves.
Since she is already a 40-year-old Dink woman, and she really does not plan to recognize a child who does not belong to her, it is time to do the following points:
01 Learn to save money
Many of us, without much pressure, will not plan ahead, and for money, there is no planning.
Many women have no control over how much money they spend before they get married, or before they have kids. I often hear the term "Moonlight Clan", which means those who make how much money and how much they spend, and who have no fear of money.
However, you know which of tomorrow and accidents comes first, there are actually too many places in life that need to be balanced with money, and those who will only splurge are less planning for the future and lack of crisis awareness.
There is a saying that goes well: "Really smart people realize the importance of saving money early on, they don't spend ahead of time, and they don't let themselves be in debt." ”
I think this is especially important for women who are still single or ready to do dink. Because life is always full of uncertainty, when you encounter difficulties, open the phone book and don't know who to ask for help, then you should be soberly aware that people should still do a good job in advance.
I remember when I first graduated, there was a good interview opportunity, but among the many job seekers, only my friend was selected. Afterwards, she told us that she was selected because she was confident enough, and the reason for her confidence was that she saved herself a sum of money during college, she went to skin care before applying for a job, bought herself a proper dress, and she also bought some products from the interview company to try it herself. And all this is due to the money he saved in the first place.
You know, a person's good luck does not come out of thin air, this is because you are prepared early, as the saying goes: "The more sober people live, the better their lives." ”
Moreover, Yi Shu also once said something like this: If a woman does not have a lot of love, it is good to have a lot of money.
So, women, whether they are loved or alone, whether they are on their knees or ready to do dink, must learn one thing, that is, to save money without hesitation.
02 Learn to be alone
A person's greatest ability should be to learn to be alone. As Aristotle said, "The solitary is either a beast or a god." ”
At any time, if a person is afraid of loneliness, it means that her heart is really not strong enough.
There are many single people around me, and whenever they have free time, they will meet friends to entertain, afraid that being alone will make them "lonely and lonely".
However, they do not understand that this kind of idle solitude is the best time to improve themselves, because only by allowing themselves to sink their hearts to reflect and realize themselves will there be all changes and progress.
And to put yourself in a lively and noisy situation can only let time pass in vain.
I had seen a little story like this before, a man who was chopping wood was tired, and he saw a cattle herder in the distance, so he chatted with the cattle herder. The more he talked, the more excited he became, and all day he spent the day talking with the cattle herders and forgetting to chop wood.
However, in the evening, when the cattle herders recalled the well-fed and well-fed cattle to prepare to go home, the firewood cutters found that the cattle were full, but their own firewood had not yet been cut.
We are afraid of being alone, so we choose to look outward for a sense of existence, but this useless socialization brings us only the waste of time.
Instead of bustling, let yourself be silent and learn to be alone.
A person who is full of inner abundance will not only not be afraid to live alone, but will also deeply like this quiet state.
As someone once said, "In solitude, those unsolvable questions will slowly have answers." ”
03 Spiritual abundance
Mu Xin once posted the following sentence on his desk: "Art is so vast that it is enough to occupy a person." ”
This means that as long as a person's heart is abundant, anything external is not important, because his heart is enough to be occupied by what he pursues.
There is a scene in "The Shawshank Redemption" in which during and during and during the two weeks of Andy's imprisonment, he was not as depressed and decadent as the other prisoners, but on the contrary, he was in a particularly good mental state and did not feel difficult at all.
Because "The Marriage of Figaro" in prison made him completely immersed, he was fully immersed in the story and music in the movie, forgetting that he was going through the prison disaster.
An Austrian poet once said, "When a soul loses its temple, rain will drip on the heart." ”
At any time, do not let the soul have nothing to pin down on, because only the abundance of the heart is the true richness of a person, and these are irreplaceable by any external matter.
When we are still living alone, or when our lives are lonely and lonely than others, we should learn to make ourselves rich in both money and spirit, and with such security, you will be braver to face life.
END.