Author | Zi Hao
Source 丨Youshu(ID:youshucc)
Someone said:
"The first reaction when encountering an incident hides the end of a person's life."
Life changes all the time, and when problems arise, your reactions affect your destiny.
As the famous Fistinger's law says:
There are 10% of things in life that you can't control, while the other 90% are within your control.
Controlling yourself is the best way to change your destiny.
When you are down, adjust your mindset
The writer Ma Jiahui said:
"When something bad happens, it is not necessarily necessary to have a bad ending, and if you change your mindset to face it, bad things cannot be regarded as good things."
When people live in the world, it is inevitable that they will encounter several obstacles that are difficult to cross.
If the mentality is unstable, the wind and rain can crush themselves.
At the trough, go against the grain, don't be depressed, don't complain, and life goes against the grain.
Li Jihong, a well-known translator, shared a past story.
After graduating from university, he wandered in Shanghai for five or six years, and he changed several jobs unsatisfactory.
The gap between reality and ideals makes him complain and be bored every day.
In the end, he simply resigned to make a living at home on translation and writing.
As a result, reality once again punched him hard, and his already meager remuneration, coupled with the malicious arrears of the payer, he often starved.
In such a dilemma, he often lamented that he did not meet his talents, and woke up from anxiety every day.
Once, a friend recommended him a book called "Dialogue with God."
He stayed up late to read it, and all the negative mentalities such as anxiety, decadence, and complaining were immediately cured.
After adjusting his mentality, he actively faced all the unsatisfactory every day, and he did not stop translating and writing for a moment.
Later, he translated many literary works such as "The Great Gatsby", "Walden", "Noise and Turmoil" and won many awards.
At a low point, being passive doesn't solve anything.
A good mindset is the ladder you climb out of the bottom.
As Kazuo Inamori said:
"The moment you change your mindset, your life takes a turn for the better."
At the low point, see adversity as a tempering before the transformation, calm your mind, bury your head in hard work, and even the hard days can survive the return to happiness.
When you are proud, control your desires
Aristotle said:
"Indulging one's desires is the greatest scourge."
Speaking of desire, it reminds me of a group of stars and anchors who fell last year because of the expansion of desire.
The most surprising thing is the "sister with goods" Via.
How beautiful is she?
Tens of millions of fans, live broadcast 117 million times;
Live selling villas, selling rockets;
Open a company, be the boss, with an annual income of billions;
Meet the Prince of Thailand and have dinner with former UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon;
Honored to the CCTV Spring Festival Gala, elected as a member of the All-China Youth Federation Committee, selected into the 2020 Forbes China Celebrity List...
These achievements are casually taken out, which are beyond the reach of ordinary people who have worked hard for a lifetime.
However, endless desire caused her to fall from the top to the bottom.
In just one year, in order to satisfy her growing desires, Via evaded 643 million yuan in taxes and 600 million yuan in other underpayments.
What is even more unimaginable is that the relevant departments have repeatedly urged the payment of taxes, but she is still not completely rectified.
As a result, the Hangzhou Municipal Taxation Bureau ended her scenery with a notice of administrative punishment.
Her years of hard work also ended with a total network ban scribble.
Six or seven hundred million in taxes is not much for people with annual incomes of several billion.
Because as long as it is calculated in hundreds of millions, even if it is only 100 million, it is enough to meet the enjoyment of luxury.
So why does Via, and many people like her in life, still make mistakes when they know they're wrong?
A passage from the master of traditional Chinese studies, Zeng Shiqiang, is a good explanation:
"Man cannot be without needs, in other words, man has desires.
But people must learn to control their desires, to control their own needs. Because people who desire too much, it is impossible to satisfy. ”
Desire can make or break people.
When you gaze into the abyss, sink in desire, the abyss will return to gaze.
When you are proud, properly control your desires and be strict with yourself, in order to be able to enjoy the scenery for a long time.
When you are aggrieved, you restrain your emotions
There is a classic scene in the movie "New Jingwumen", although it is vulgar, it tells the reality thoroughly.
In the film, Zhou Xingchi's luggage is taken away by Zhong Zhentao.
Zhou Xingchi was very angry and desperately caught up with him, wanting to get justice.
But Zhong Zhentao did not admit his mistake and spat at Zhou Xingchi with a straight face.
Zhou Xingchi felt aggrieved, and not willing to show weakness, the two people spat at each other in the alley.
As a result, knowing that nothing had been wrong, Zhou Xingchi was spat on.
The writer Cat Ti said:
"Anger can't convince your opponent, you can only expose your emotions."
If people live a lifetime, it is inevitable that they will encounter rotten people and bad things.
Maybe you are not wrong, but you will still be misunderstood by the other party, and even insulted.
If you can't control your emotions and get entangled with the other person, in the end it is you who are not decent.
The novel "I Am Not Pan Jinlian" tells such a story.
Li Xuelian, a rural woman, was slandered by her ex-husband.
The ex-husband splashed her dirty water: "Are you Li Xuelian?" Why do I think your name is Pan Jinlian? ”
Li Xuelian felt aggrieved, and in order to return her innocence, she fought a lawsuit for 20 years up and down, in all aspects.
In the past twenty years, she has exhausted her youth and happiness, experienced the cold and warmth of the world, and filled her whole life with grievances and resentments.
But even so, she was not able to correct it in the end.
It is often said that don't get entangled with rotten people and bad things.
Why? Because you are entangled with rotten people, rotten people have nothing to lose, and you have wasted time, consumed emotions, and even lost your life.
Zhao Yuping, a lecturer in traditional Chinese studies, once mentioned a theory of "happiness let go".
This means that whoever is happy gives way.
When two people have a misunderstanding because of some small matter, the person who is better and happier should bow his head first, because once there is a dispute, in terms of cost, the happy person loses more.
In life, no one cannot be misunderstood.
When you are wronged, you don't have to explain, and you don't have to argue.
Straightening out emotions and making yourself better off than the other person is the wisest counterattack.
When you are lonely, keep your posture
I don't know if you've had this experience.
Many times, the more you rack your brains to make yourself social, the more tired you become.
I have heard a saying: "The deepest loneliness is to force yourself to fit in." ”
All the strength comes from your loneliness.
Many people should have seen this photo.
This photo was taken by netizens when Zhang Xiaofei attended an event in January last year.
At that time, she was still a small star who had been in the entertainment industry for many years and was still at the bottom.
Sitting next to a table is a popular celebrity.
At that time, although she was only one step away from other stars, she was like being separated by an invisible barrier.
Because there is no fame, others gather in a circle to eat hot pot and sing songs, she can only stand silently on the side, in a dilemma.
There was no exclusive seat, and no one even paid any attention to her.
It wasn't until her good friend Jia Ling called the staff and arranged for her to sit down.
People who have experienced loneliness can experience this kind of neglect and isolation of desolation.
In the face of this situation, some people choose to smile to cater to, and some people choose to keep themselves.
Zhang Xiaofei is the latter, when she is not recognized, she does not humbly try to integrate, but silently endures and polishes her acting skills.
The director said that she was ugly and could not play the heroine, so she studied the sketch.
Grinding over and over again, practicing again and again, and insisting year after year, she finally waited for the opportunity to participate in "Hello! Lee Hwan Young".
In the end, she became a 5 billion box office heroine with this film, and won the best actress at the 34th Chinese Film Golden Rooster Awards.
Can't help but think of a lyric:
"Indifferent people, thank you for looking down on me, so that I don't bow my head, more wonderful work."
When you are lonely, you must not stop crying.
Loneliness is not shameful, heroes are always lonely, only the weak gather.
What you have to do is not to blindly fit in, not to go with the flow.
A man's achievements are directly proportional to the loneliness he endures.
When you are lonely, keep your own unique posture, work hard calmly, struggle alone, and wait for yourself to slowly bloom.
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As the old saying goes, "Destiny is made by oneself, and blessings are sought by oneself." ”
No matter what the environment, it is possible to turn the situation around.
A person's fate is hidden in the way he deals with problems.
The weak are resigned to their fate and at their mercy; the strong, in control of themselves, change their destiny.
Controlling yourself well in case of trouble is the best transfer.
Click [watching], may you take your fate into your own hands and live a better life.
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