Ph.D. in Biochemistry and Molecular Biology from Wuhan University, Postdoctoral Fellow at the National University of Singapore (NUS), a mind to engage in scientific research, amateur writing is not wasted, and strive to surprise you.
------------------
In May 1967, he made the hardest decision of his life.
If the decision is made, it means that he will take on great responsibility, and he may have been planted in this decision for half his life.
There are two reasons for this, which concern the second half of his life:
First, it is no longer possible to marry healthy women and have children.
The second is that he has to feed three unrelated people, someone else's wife and children.
Before making a decision, Zhu Bangyue was dissuaded by many neighbors, "If you really marry Zhu Lingmei, your life will be over." ”
Marry a friend's widow and become a family.
It was the best choice he had made countless times in his days.
Because, only in this way can we really help Zhu Lingmei and live up to her friend's last wishes before her death.
For the rest of his life, he made this promise, from green silk to white hair.
Three paralyzed people in a wheelchair, he took care of for an entire life.
He is the fake husband, the fake father, the real man's Zhu Bangyue.
With love and promise, he silently guarded this strange family.
(Zhu Bangyue)
In 1965, Zhu Bangyue, a 27-year-old coal miner in Nanping, Fujian Province, met a disabled couple on the mine.
Although the man Gu Weizu is a patient with rickets, he has a high education, strong work ability, and usually treats people with righteousness, which makes Zhu Bangyue admire.
The woman, Zhu Lingmei, suffers from progressive muscular dystrophy and has a hard time walking, but still keeps her home in order.
Zhu Bangyue is a warm-hearted person, looking at the husband and wife are both disabled, plus there is a 2-year-old child, life is very hard, so as long as there is time to come to help.
Neighbors came and went, and Zhu Bangyue became close to this family.
He and Gu Weizu became brothers in the tribulation, and the two were called brothers and brothers.
I originally thought that life would be slowly surviving like this, but a sudden accident completely disrupted this order.
In the autumn of 1967, Zhu Bangyue was busy at home.
Suddenly hearing Zhu Lingmei call out to him, Gu Zuwei was almost gone.
Zhu Bangyue hurried to Gu Zuwei's house, and saw Gu Zuwei rolling his eyes, his body convulsing in pain, holding his last breath to wait for him to come.
Zhu Bangyue instantly panicked, and as soon as his legs were weak, he knelt down beside Gu Zuwei's bed.
Gu Zuwei tightly held Zhu Bangyue's hand and said that I couldn't do it, and the only thing I could do was not to worry about the big and small ones in the family.
I ask Zhu Bangyue to be kind and take more care of Zhu Lingmei on weekdays.
Zhu Bangyue looked at Gu Zuwei's pleading eyes and couldn't bear to refuse the entrustment of a dying person.
He cried and nodded his head, "Rest assured, rest assured, I will definitely take good care of Sister Zhu Ling and their mother and son." ”
This sudden heart attack made Gu Zuwei lose his life.
Zhu Lingmei lost her husband, and her 2-year-old son Gu Zhonghua lost her father.
Zhu Lingmei was pregnant with a child who had not been born for 5 months and never saw her father again.
The family lost its focus in an instant, a disabled person who could not work, where to work to earn money and support the 2-year-old son and the fetus in the womb.
Zhu Lingmei thought about going back to her mother's house, but her mother's family had not returned for many years.
Besides, the mother's family is not rich, and whether it is accepted or not has to be said twice.
Zhu Lingmei only felt that the sky had fallen, and she didn't know how to feed her children.
Since her husband Gu Zuwei left, Zhu Lingmei has not been able to eat all day.
As soon as she thought of her two children, her heart was like a knife, and her eyes were swollen and swollen.
Zhu Bangyue saw that Zhu Lingmei was sad all day, so he patiently persuaded her on the side, telling her that he would never abandon the mother and son.
When Zhu Lingmei heard this, she was even more ashamed in her heart.
Since her husband left, Zhu Bangyue has helped herself enough, and she really doesn't want to owe too much to others.
Sister Zhu Lingjie advised Zhu Bangyue to say, "You have not yet married, you run to my house all day, your reputation is not good, the neighbors gossip, and you should also find a virtuous wife to marry and have children." ”
Zhu Bangyue said disapprovingly, "I said in front of Zu Wei that I would take good care of you, as long as you are in one day, I will come over for one day." ”
As the saying goes, widows are not many in front of the door.
As the days went on, the neighbors were not talking dirty, but more worried about Zhu Bangyue.
Some kind neighbors directly advised Zhu Bangyue, "You are a coal miner, physically strong, where to find a daughter-in-law, looking for Zhu Lingmei after you have you, but don't do stupid things." ”
Zhu Bangyue faced all kinds of rumors outside and thought about it for a long time.
Running to Zhu Lingmei's house is not a long-term solution, he is not afraid of being gossiped about, but he is worried about ruining Zhu Lingmei's reputation.
At the age of 26, Zhu Bangyue made an important decision to marry Zhu Lingmei, and many people advised him to be sober.
He said that since he had promised Gu Zuwei's will, no matter how difficult it was, he would have to take up this responsibility and take care of Zhu Ling's mother and son.
After getting married, Zhu Lingmei became pregnant and took Gu Zhonghua, who was more than two years old, into Zhu Bangyue's home.
Since then, Zhu Bangyue has shouldered the roles of husband and father.
After Zhu Lingmei gave birth smoothly, she let the newborn child take Zhu Bangyue's surname and named zhu Shaohua.
Since then, Zhu Bangyue has had two children, one named Gu Zhonghua and the other named Zhu Shaohua.
Zhu Bangyue worked in the mine to carry out physical transportation, earning 43.8 yuan a month.
Although it is small, it is enough to spend on rice, oil and salt at home.
Sometimes in order to improve the family's food, Zhu Lingmei and the children can supplement nutrition, and they can also make meat dishes several times a month.
The days gradually became more stable, the smile on the face of his wife Zhu Lingmei was also more and more, and the two children also grew up healthily.
In the blink of an eye, Zhu Bangyue's two sons have gone to school and their grades are particularly excellent.
Zhu Bangyue treated the two children as if they were his own, and often changed the law to make the children happy.
He pulled out apples from his pockets, sometimes oranges.
Or open the lunch box you carry with you and show the children the eggs, tamales, chicken or duck inside.
The 3-year-old was drooling and gulping down ecstatically.
Sometimes, Zhu Lingmei accused the two children from the side, which was the staff meal that dad worked hard and was not allowed to eat.
The clever little devil head, hearing his mother's words, immediately took the meat and sent it to Zhu Bangyue's mouth.
Zhu Bangyue also always smiled and squinted at the meat sent to his mouth, pretending to take a bite, but it was left for the children to eat.
Zhu Lingmei was often amused by this scene, and then turned to Zhu Bangyue and said solemnly, "You don't want to give him anything delicious to eat, who knows if he has a conscience when he grows up." ”
Zhu Bangyue replied with a smile, who knows what will happen in the future?
Yeah, the years are long, and what will come, who knows?
One morning in 1971, 4-year-old Zhu Shaohua and 7-year-old Gu Zhonghua played tricks and did not go to school.
He said angrily, "My classmates laughed at my eyes, saying they were dead fish eyes." ”
Frightened, Zhu Bangyue quickly pulled the child and grabbed the children's eyelids and asked if it was the coal mine dusty and the dust in his eyes.
The kids said no.
Zhu Bangyue was worried that the child would have a problem, so he took a day off from the mine and took the child to the county seat to see.
When I arrived at the nearby coal mine hospital, the doctor shook his head, and it was best to go to the big hospital for a closer examination.
Zhu Bangyue quickly led the two children to Shanghai Huashan Hospital, and after examination, the doctor diagnosed:
Two children suffer from progressive muscular dystrophy, which is a genetic disorder, a terminal illness, with no medication to treat.
After the diagnosis came out, Zhu Lingmei next to her only felt that a bullet hit her chest and shattered her heart.
Zhu Bangyue also felt like a fish in his throat.
He couldn't believe that this was true, how the child who was still alive and jumping in front of his eyes had suddenly become ill.
The neighbors kindly advised Zhu Bangyue to give up quickly, and being dragged down by these three people was equivalent to ruining the rest of his life in vain, and it was not worth it.
When Zhu Bangyue heard this, he only felt angry, and he even clashed with people several times.
After learning the test results, Zhu Lingmei was very ashamed.
Over the years, she owed Zhu Bangyue too much.
Originally, I hoped that the child would grow up and have a good career, and be able to repay Zhu Bangyue's nurturing grace.
Unexpectedly, at present, the child is suffering from the same disease as himself.
In order not to drag Zhu Bangyue down, she decisively told Zhu Bangyue, "Let's get a divorce!" ”
Regarding how to live in the future, Zhu Lingmei has already made plans.
After the divorce, she took her two children on the road and was reunited with the child's biological father.
Zhu Bangyue's heart was extremely sour, and he always felt that he had to be a conscience.
Even if the road ahead will be difficult, he is willing to bear it.
He told his wife Zhu Lingmei that this responsibility, suffered losses and also recognized, who let him be the father of the child.
Zhu Lingmei couldn't help but cry with a headache, saying in her mouth that it was not worth it, it was not worth it.........
Zhu Bangyue said instead, "I, a person who is not related by blood, can bear the ordeal given by this fate, and you, as the biological mother of the child, cannot give up." ”
In 1995, the mother and son deteriorated and became paralyzed, and they were in wheelchairs.
At this time, the mother and son were skinny and bone-skinned, muscle atrophy, face deformation, bulging eyes, exposed teeth, fingers unable to move, and paralyzed body.
Every morning, Zhu Bangyue gets up at 6 o'clock, gets dressed, brushes his teeth and washes his face, cleans the house, and cooks rice.
Immediately afterward, he would wait for the mother and son to dress and give them a massage.
Then take turns holding the wheelchair, brushing their teeth and washing their faces, and then pushing them into the house to prepare for dinner.
At 8 o'clock, he took the square shelf nailed with wooden strips, put the toilet bucket in the middle, and held the mother and son for convenience.
A series of tasks are done as smoothly as a flowing cloud.
Zhu Lingmei cried and said that the hardest and most difficult thing in life is to take a bath and go to the bathroom.
Especially in the bathroom, she can neither stand nor sit, and can only rely on Zhu Bangyue to hug her.
Zhu Bangyue finished his family work every day before going out to work in the mines and earn money to support his family.
In order to supplement the nutrition of the mother and son, Zhu Bangyue reclaimed land by the river to grow vegetables, and built a shack at the door to raise chickens and ducks.
According to the recollection of his son Zhu Shaohua, in order to let the mother and son three eat more meat, Zhu Bangyue crossed the mountains and mountains to go to the countryside and exchanged the saved cloth ticket grain for pork with the peasants.
There are many chicken, duck, fish, milk and so on the table.
He felt that he was living a well-off life, while his father was alone and nibbled on the steamed bun with pickles.
Even my father heard that eating ginseng can prolong life and health, so he bought ginseng as a dish for us to eat.
"Oral liquids such as ginseng royal jelly and sun god are inseparable from me."
In order to prevent the mother and son from becoming numb and painful due to a sleeping position, Zhu Bangyue got up many times at night and turned over for the three mothers and children.
Summer, the worst season for the whole family, three people are paralyzed in chairs, and their bodies are stiff and cannot move, and they are prone to prickly heat.
In order to avoid the three people getting prickly, Zhu Bangyue took turns to pick up the three people every once in a while and wipe their bodies.
Whenever he was busy, Zhu Bangyue was already sweating and panting.
People say that boys have tears and do not flick, but they are not sad.
Sometimes when his mood was too low to be discharged, Zhu Bangyue would hide in the corner and cry, and he complained about why heaven was so cruel to the mother and son.
But it was only a temporary emotional vent, venting to wipe away the tears, he still smiled to welcome his wife and children.
He said that if even he had a bitter face all day, his wife and children's mood would certainly not be better.
The suffering in life is probably only like this.
Holding up the family, but also moving bricks to earn money.
I once read such a sentence: "Hemp rope only picks the small points and breaks, and bad luck only finds bitter people." ”
On May 16, 1986, Zhu Bangyue was in a car accident and disabled by a leg fall.
Zhu Bangyue is a courier, and when riding a bicycle to deliver the material that day, he did not pay too much attention and collided head-on with a truck full of sand and gravel.
Zhu Bangyue was crushed by the truck at the bottom of the carriage, he screamed in pain, his legs were pressed under the wheels, the blood could not be stopped, and he flowed all over the ground.
The workers heard Zhu Bangyue's cry and quickly sent the unconscious Zhu Bangyue to the hospital for emergency treatment.
After several hours of first aid, the life was saved, but the leg could not be saved.
Open comminuted fracture of the left tibia of the leg with soft tissue contusion and scattered bone flesh at the ankle.
Doctors identified Zhu Bangyue as having a fifth-degree disability and had to have her leg amputated.
Zhu Bangyue repeatedly refused to amputate his leg, if the leg was amputated, then the people who could walk in the family were gone, and the paralyzed mother and son three people should find who to take care of.
Zhu Bangyue only took the painkiller prescribed by the hospital, and he refused to run to the hospital for the injured leg, thinking it was too much of a waste of money.
Zhu Bangyue made his own salt water to clean the wound, endured the pain to clean and disinfect the wound, and then put the medical gauze in the pressure cooker to disinfect it with high temperature and tie it smoothly.
Every day, he relies on cheap antibiotics to relieve pain in his legs.
After the leg injury, Zhu Bangyue held the mother and son three more difficult.
Originally, when holding crutches, the legs could not be strengthened, and when holding people, it was all based on the legs and waist.
Zhu Bangyue could only endure severe pain, and when he hugged the mother and son, unlike before, he could not fully pick up, and could only pull and lean back on the chair.
Sometimes, you have to take a break.
Often packed up for the three people, he was already tired and panting, the wound on his leg was straight and straight, and his face was miserable and frightening.
The youngest son, Zhu Shaohua, couldn't bear to look at his father in such pain, and he wanted to have one less burden without one person.
In the end, he held this mood and chose to commit suicide.
That day, he secretly took dozens of sleeping pills and lay in his room waiting to die.
Fortunately, his father Zhu Bangyue found out in time to retrieve Zhu Shaohua's life.
Zhu Bangyue looked at Zhu Shaohua, who had been rescued, a big man crying bitterly in front of his wife and children.
He prayed that the mother and son would live well, as long as they lived well, whatever he wanted him to do.
At this moment, Zhu Shaohua seemed to understand what home was and also understood his father.
As long as the family is alive and well, it is a kind of happiness.
Under the care and love of his father Zhu Bangyue, Zhu Shaohua gradually came out of bad emotions and calmly faced the difficulties and pains of life.
He relied on only two fingers that could be moved, and sat by the computer all day typing.
With his love of writing, he found a job as a proofreader and earned some money to support his family.
In 2002, he used the pen name "Zhu Hanxin" to publish an article on the Internet called "My Father Is Not a Biological Father", which made countless netizens cry.
The text reads:
Father was a very ordinary person, he only did ordinary things such as washing and cleaning,
But as someone said, it is this kind of ordinary like me, but it is no different from heaven,
Because without my father's decades of ordinary and selfless efforts, my world would be dark.
Sometimes, father is not a noun, but a verb.
Now, this man who has been in trouble for half a life can finally put down his crutches and rest.
All walks of life heard of his moving deeds and reached out to this suffering family.
His home began to come alive, and the mother and son three had nannies waiting for them.
Zhu Bangyue no longer had to carry crutches, and held the mother and son three breathlessly.
Although he let go of the burden of life now, Zhu Bangyue still couldn't sit still every morning, and he walked around talking to his wife and children.
For 40 years, he has been inseparable, repeating the same action thousands of times a day, wandering in the 70-meter room on crutches, and taking care of the mother and son tried his best.
Although what he does is ordinary, nothing more than daily eating and wearing, but it is very sincere!
In 2009, Zhu Bangyue was named one of the "Top Ten People Who Moved China", in which the award speech said:
"This most ordinary Chinese man, with the faint fire of his sick and crippled body, illuminates the life that is unusually bumpy in the eyes of others,
Life is hard, but there is still light here. ”
Some people are fleeing alive, but fortunately, there are still people on the way to escape who are willing to stay away and accompany them all the way!
Zhu Bangyue is a fake husband and a fake father.
But his falsehood is only in name, true, but in the hearts of the people.
Author: Zhu Xiaolu & Selina