I'm a teacher and I talk for ten minutes more per lesson – thank you, don't smile]
I'm a surgeon and I have one more amputation every time I have it - thank you Limb slugs [tears]
I am a crematorium worker and I take one [dog head] with me every time I incinerate - thank you, being burned more [tears]
I'm a hairdresser and I cut five centimeters more every time I cut my hair-
Thank you, old scissors [smile]