In recent days, one of the daily fixed activities is the Winter Olympics ~ this Winter Olympics will have too many young children to impress, today I want to talk about the limelight Gu Ailing.
As an old mother, the more you learn about this "other person's child", the more touched you are.
A detail of the competition scene made me most emotional:
After completing the first two rounds of action, Gu Ailing was faced with two choices: one was to make another 1440 and securely get the silver medal, and the other was to challenge a big move that no one had ever done in the Olympic Games, and success could get the gold medal, and failure would have nothing.
As a result, everyone knows that Gu Ailing made a reverse foot deflection shaft rotation 1620 degrees that had never been done before, which is the most difficult action in the world, and successfully got a high score of 94.5 and won the gold medal.
In an interview with the media after the game, when asked why he took a super difficult move in the third jump that he had never tried before, Gu Ailing replied:
"I'm not here to beat other athletes, not to skate better than others, I want to break my boundaries, I want to skate to my best." "Victory, after hundreds of years, no one cares what you win or what you do. The most important thing is to be happy when you are alive. Anyway, for me, skiing makes me happy, and doing hard movements makes me happy. ”
Making such a choice and saying such a thing, she achieved a soberness rarely seen in the world.
And she's just an 18-year-old!
In sports, in addition to skiing, long-distance running, basketball, gymnastics, yoga, horseback riding, football, rock climbing, archery, each one can be handy.
Artistically, piano, ballet, vocal music, everything is well performed.
In terms of study, he completed the high school course in two years and received an admission letter from Stanford University with a high score of 1580. (The US college entrance examination SAT score is 1600 points)
Mothers all over the internet were watching Gu Ailing drooling.
On the one hand, imagine whether your baby can learn one-tenth of other people's, on the other hand, you have low self-esteem and do not have other people's Kochi genes + money + American elite education.
In fact, there is no need to be inferior at all, as some netizens said, the quality of resources is certainly not a decisive factor in whether a person has a job, I don't believe in looking at the Chinese men's football team.
There is no need to think for yourself, because every mother and every family has enough energy to cultivate "Gu Ailing".
In fact, you found that no, the reason why Gu Ailing attracted so many "mother fans" is not his origin or talent, but the most lacking share of the "self-driving force without whipping himself" that most of the children lack.
The so-called internal drive, the official statement is that the motivation to do something comes entirely from one's own heart.
The big vernacular is self-chicken, there is a drive, pushing itself forward.
And Gu Ailing is a model for developing the internal drive to the maximum, self-chicken child:
There is the ambition to take the initiative to do it; there is a sense of responsibility to pursue a good job; there is the resilience not to give up easily when encountering difficulties.
Just imagine, if your own children can do the above three points, will they be equally excellent!
But how should we cultivate our own chicken babies? Gu Ailing's mother provided us with several ideas:
Free choice, in order to love from the bottom of the heart
Speaking of skiing, Gu Ailing said: "I chose to ski because I really love it! That's great. Like one, flying up, landing on the ground, that feeling of being in the air and free, made me most addicted. The biggest reward for me by skiing is the tenacious spirit. When I fall, I make sure I'm not injured, then get up, learn the lessons, and keep trying. ”
Love is the source of all motivation, is not afraid of difficulties, but also the core of internal driving force.
In real life, many parents rack their brains and want to help their children find something they love at any cost, but toss and turn, and children become interested in nothing.
Let's see how Gu Mom guides her child's love.
Not forced, in order to be spontaneous
The most Gu Ailing said to the media was that her mother never forced her to do anything.
Gu Ailing knew since childhood that her mother graduated from Stanford, and she also set herself a goal of Stanford, but her mother has always stressed to her:
"You don't necessarily have to go to Stanford, you go to any school, as long as you like it." More importantly, never give up learning for the rest of your life. ”
There is a hot search that many people discuss: Gu Ailing can sleep ten hours a day since she was a child, because she likes to sleep, and her mother will not stop or force her to get up.
A child who was preparing for the college entrance examination 2 years ago and preparing for the ski international competition from an early age can sleep 10 hours a day, and his mother not only does not interfere, but is very supportive, which is how rare it is.
Gu Ailing's growth process, without the slightest persecution, has given all her behaviors a big premise: initiative, automatic spontaneity, and this is the big premise of the breeding of internal driving force.
Create a variety of conditions for children, more experience, more contact
Mother Gu has created a very relaxed and free growth environment for Gu Ailing, and she is also very willing to create conditions for cultivating her interests and take Gu Ailing to experience and contact as much as possible.
If you like the piano, you can play the piano, and if you like ballet, you can go to the ballet.
In terms of sports, Gu Ailing has also made a variety of attempts: cross-country running, football, basketball, archery, horse riding, rock climbing...
Gu Yan's point of view is: "The more you try, the easier it is to clarify what you love in your heart." See enough choices to be true to love. ”
Gu Yan especially likes to say a word to her daughter: "You have to try it again, the worst result is that you don't like it, but if you particularly like it, you will earn it." ”
It is better to teach by example than to let the children discover the interests on their own
How did Gu Ailing like skiing? It has a lot to do with mom.
Gu Yan is very passionate about skiing, when she was in college, she was on the Peking University speed skating team, and later worked as a ski instructor for a while.
When Gu Ailing was three months old, Gu Yan took her to the ski resort, skated for two hours, and came down to see her.
When she was three years old, Gu Yan gave her daughter a pair of ski boots and took her to the ski resort. However, instead of forcing her daughter to ski, she let her play casually.
Gu Yan said: "Words are not as good as teaching by example, I just create such an atmosphere, the child will join if she wants, and if she does not want to, I will not force her." ”
This trick is very good, under the natural enlightenment of her mother, Gu Ailing found that she has a great interest in skiing, and when she is 4 years old, she can ride in the snow with her mother.
Under the premise of respect, be a child's life coach
At the age of 7, Gu Ailing wanted to go to the next level in skiing, and decided to join a formal team, and there were two paths in front of her:
One is racing, which is a sport that many girls will choose, which is a safe choice; the other is freestyle skiing, which is dominated by boys and is more challenging.
How to choose it?
Gu Yan did not use her own life experience to help her daughter judge which was the best, nor did she let her daughter tangle left and right.
She took her daughter to the ski lift and took her to a different angle to watch the athletes train at high altitude.
When the young Gu Ailing saw the wonderful scene of free skiers flying and spinning in the air, she was excited, and she was sure that this was what she wanted.
Later facts also proved that the excitement brought by the sport became her biggest motivation along the way.
At the critical moment of their children's life choices, many parents like to say a sentence: "I eat more salt than you eat rice", they think that their life experience can help children take fewer detours.
The experience of Gu's mother tells us that parents should become their children's life mentors, but they should pay more attention to respecting their children and letting him make heartfelt choices.
When the child is still young and unable to make a choice, we cannot unilaterally decide for him, but we should create conditions for him to make convenient choices.
There is no natural genius, raising children has never gone with the flow, it is the parents' precautions, so that children feel that everything is just a matter of course.
Behind this naturalization, the character shaping over the years and the guidance of key moments are the most difficult places for parents.
Unconditional support is the only way to be fearless
Under the premise of health and safety, Gu Yan really supports her daughter unconditionally.
Unwavering support
For more than ten years, every winter weekend and holiday, Gu Yan would drive for 4 hours, carry her daughter to the ski slope for training, go back and forth for eight hours, and the snowy road was slippery, during which the hardships could be imagined.
But Gu Yan has always insisted, and she will tell her daughter: Don't feel guilty, I sent you because I love skiing.
On the other hand, many people often hang on their lips, "I worked so hard for you, how come you don't know how to work hard?" ", the pattern of Gu Mother, it is really not ordinary big!
Proper leadership
When she first learned to ski, Gu Ailing also experienced a difficult period, and Gu Yan became the "wisdom brain" behind her skiing, from learning methods to action feelings, from competition mentality to competitive skills, helping her to do scientific analysis and lead her to think.
Gu Ailing herself sighed: "My mother is very strong, because she is the only parent who can keep up with the speed of athletes in sparring."
CC's piano teacher also said that the fastest shortcut for children to learn the piano is for parents to learn together.
But how many parents are just standing by and pointing fingers?
If you don't understand TA enough and blindly direct TA, the child is of course not convinced...
Stable to rely on
After all, Gu Ailing is still a child, and she also has times when her emotions are out of control, and Gu Yan is her emotional stabilizer.
Two days before Gu Ailing prepared to participate in the adult competition for the first time, she suddenly had a fever and fell ill, and her throat hurt badly, exposing the weakness of a little girl in front of her mother.
Mom didn't mess up, nor did she tell her to learn to be strong, but calmly judged her condition and gently encouraged her, let's rest first, it's not good now, but you're definitely fine!
When her daughter was anxious because she didn't have time to familiarize herself with the venue because of this illness, she said calmly: We focus on participation.
The daughter made a mistake in the game, she was not a little impatient, hugged her and said: You have done a good job, I am especially proud of you!
This gentle force has become Gu Ailing's confidence in facing challenges.
Completely let go
In this Olympic competition, before the third jump, Gu Ailing called her mother, her mother suggested to keep steady, she said that she wanted to challenge it, gu Yan although she did not approve, but still said: Then you choose it yourself, this is your game, you can enjoy it.
This is an Olympic medal competition, the average parent may say: "You don't even have a silver medal if you don't obey, don't regret it when the time comes", but Gu's mother really let go and handed it to the child.
This trust makes Gu Ailing confident to shine.
In an interview, Gu Ailing said:
"I know that children all over the world think that their mothers are the best mothers, but I really feel that my mothers are the best mothers... Sorry other moms, but my mom is better than you. ”
In his words, he was full of trust and dependence on his mother.
A good parent-child relationship is the foundation of all education and the soil for the growth of children's internal driving forces.
If we can do that, even if our child can't become an Olympic champion, he can shine in the field he loves.
Finally, two more digressions.
In the past two days, Dad C and I have been discussing our parenting style because of Gu Ailing.
Because Gu Ailing is really good! That age, such achievement, and in a confident, happy, healthy and abundant way.
Some people say that Gu Ailing's success is a natural and organic type of success - hard work and hard work, hard work but not preaching pain.
I felt as if I saw the prototype of the next generation of elites alive!
Yes, hard work, hard work, pay, is always the successful person can not lack things, this year's children to learn or not to learn is not a problem, their core problem is whether they can freely decide to learn or not to learn.
Because of the love to reach the limit, they are more likely to succeed when they can freely choose what to learn and what to insist on.
I envy my children for catching up with such times, and I look forward to becoming a parent who matches the parenting style of this year' children.