Halfway through the plot of "There Is You in This Life", the character of Tan Jing has begun to be questioned by more people. Because the audience is standing in God's perspective, they naturally know that Nie Yusheng is good and Sheng Fangting is bad, so when we see Tan Jing listening to Sheng Fangting and not believing Nie Yusheng, we feel that she has "collapsed". But if it is in reality, you may not be able to distinguish between Sheng Fangting and Nie Yusheng.
In the whole play, although Tan Jing suffered a lot, she is indeed the most selfish person in the play.
1, as a girlfriend, she is not qualified
At that time, her father had an accident, and she was greatly hit. When she still knew nothing, she was called to the office by Nie Yusheng's father, Nie Dongyuan, and gave her 5 million yuan, on the one hand, as compensation for his father, to let her clean up the aftermath, on the other hand, it was also a break-up fee, allowing her to leave Nie Yusheng.
At that time, she was just a child and didn't understand anything, so she foolishly listened to Sun Zhijun's words and regarded Nie Dongyuan as the murderer of her father.
At that time, she was still Nie Yusheng's girlfriend, and they were still married in Belgium at that time, which was said to be relatively close. But she didn't say anything to Nie Yusheng and directly mentioned breaking up.
Why didn't she tell Nie Yusheng? It was to maintain her so-called self-esteem. And her self-esteem is only to cover up her inferiority.
Although Tan Jing never said it, from the fragments in her memories, we can see her inferiority. For example, not allowing Nie Yusheng to spend his family's money to buy gifts for himself, he had to work to earn money. As a result, this matter let Nie Dongyuan know, so Nie Dongyuan did not like Tan Jing very much.
Because Nie Dongyuan saw through Tan Jing's disguise at a glance. Those who pretend to be strong and self-reliant are actually just inferiority in their bones. Because of this, he was able to strike a fatal blow and keep her away from Nie Yusheng.
Tan Jing did not consult with Nie Yusheng because she was unwilling to give up the pride in her heart, because she felt that as soon as she bowed her head, there would be nothing.
Therefore, as a girlfriend, she is unqualified, and she should not unilaterally deprive Nie Yusheng of her right to know.
2, as a mother, she is not qualified
Also a mother, I can understand Tan Jing's hatred for Nie Dongyuan.
At that time, it was Nie Dongyuan who forced Tan Jing to leave Nie Yusheng, and Tan Jing brought up the child alone, and the child also had congenital heart disease, and the annual medical expenses cost more than 100,000 yuan. Look at her clothes, look at her living environment, look at her friends, and you can see how difficult it is for her.
But, in any case, she should not deprive her children of the right to enjoy the love of fathers and grandfathers.
Perhaps because of the closeness in blood, PingPing is very close to Nie Dongyuan, and he also likes to be with his grandfather. Tan Jing really shouldn't have fled with her child.
Watching the child who had just finished the operation being tossed to the hotel, still eating takeout, and forcibly holding his body and saying" "I want to go home", Tan Jing really did not do it right.
Originally, there was a good solution to this matter. She could consult with Nie Yusheng and allow Nie Dongyuan and Nie Yusheng to visit the children, but the custody must also be hers.
If she was willing to negotiate well, then this matter really wasn't that difficult to resolve. Now Nie Yusheng is not easy to solve, because the attitudes of both sides are too strong.
Many mothers may not want to admit it, but you must admit that the child is not yours alone, even if you pay more for him, he also has the right to choose his own life, this is not filial piety, but his freedom. If you morally kidnap him and persecute him, that's your selfishness.
Since you chose to give birth to a child who is related to the Nie family, you must make sufficient psychological preparations.
I think a netizen was right, she said, Tan Jing deliberately let herself suffer because of this way she can get some satisfaction. This is what psychology calls "compensatory psychology." She just wants to make herself feel bad, and then experience her own sacrifice and greatness from the difficulty of raising children, so as to achieve the purpose of self-touching.
To some extent, the child is only the carrier for her to meet her psychological needs, and it is also the best "weapon" for revenge on Nie Yusheng. She enjoyed the thrill. When a mother begins to immerse herself in self-motivated giving, it shows that there are some problems in her psychology.
True love for children, this is not the case.
3, as a friend, she is not qualified
In other words, Tan Jing has no friends.
She had endured so much alone, and Wang Yuling had helped her everywhere, but she had never said half a word to her about her affairs. Those things, or later Sun Zhijun couldn't help it, told Wang Yuling.
From this incident, it is enough to see that Tan Jing actually does not trust anyone. This is actually understandable, no one wants to tell others the deepest secrets of their hearts. Tan Jing didn't even want to say Nie Yusheng, let alone Wang Yuling?
From the perspective of Tanjing's attitude toward lovers, friends and children, she is a person who compares herself to herself, putting herself above everyone else and replacing others with her own ideas.
True independence is not deprivation. At that time, Tan Jing wanted to get Nie Yusheng out of Nie Dongyuan's control, and now she wanted her son to get rid of Nie Dongyuan and Nie Yusheng. This was not independence, but resistance, which was why it was opposed by Nie Dongyuan.
True independence is not attached to what you have, but it will not be trapped in your dreams by what you have.
So, young girls, don't learn to talk about quiet. This is not independence, it is selfishness.