Author: Wu Yu
Source: There are books
Circle of friends, many people have used it as a platform to record their lives.
Here they share their lives, express their feelings, watch others know their own lives little by little, and participate in other people's lives in the interaction with friends.
However, I don't know when it began, and the circle of friends became more and more cautious.
Some people spend time and effort, spend a lot of time to edit, but after the release, because there are too few likes, they have to delete the circle of friends, or set it to only their own visible.
In fact, after sending the circle of friends, and deleting it because you care about the feelings of others, it is a kind of self-consumption.
As Bai Yansong said:
"Sometimes, we live a very tired life, not because life is too mean, but because we are too easily infected by the atmosphere of the outside world."
As you walk, you realize that you must not let the circle of friends ruin your life.
1、
Circle of friends likes is a form
It has nothing to do with the quality of dating
A few days ago, there was a hot search topic on Weibo # Don't care too much about the likes of others in the circle of friends#, which caused countless netizens to discuss hotly.
In the message area, a netizen shared his personal experience.
She said that she originally liked to post her feelings in the circle of friends.
But slowly send a circle of friends need to be repeated for a long time, and if you send it for a few hours, no one likes it, it will be deleted immediately.
Now, she simply doesn't send a circle of friends.
It turned out that she often liked her circle of friends because of a few well-connected friends, but liked other mutual friends, which made her feel that her friends did not like her.
Later, one day, she and her boyfriend had a cold war, and her mood fell into the bottom, and she couldn't help but send a circle of friends to express her sad feelings, but still no one liked it.
A friend who has not been in touch for a long time, but after seeing it, sent a message to care about himself.
She told her friend truthfully, and unexpectedly, after 30 minutes, her friend came to the house to accompany her.
At that time, she realized that although her friend did not like her circle of friends, he cared about her very much.
In fact, people who really care about you will never just stay in the circle of friends to like.
When I was young, I paid great attention to the number of likes in the circle of friends, and after each circle of friends, I always couldn't help but see how many people liked it.
If there are many people who like it, they will feel that their friends care about themselves.
When you find that not many people like it, you will feel that others do not care about your life and become depressed.
But as you get older and more experienced, you can understand that the likes of the circle of friends do not represent anything, let alone determine the quality of dating.
Some people give you likes, maybe just brushed your circle of friends, and some people don't give you likes, not because they don't like you, but because they may just not see it, or don't have the habit of brushing the circle of friends.
Even if they often like each other, but there is no communication in private, it will not become a friend.
Like a sentence I saw before:
"Whether you like it or not in the circle of friends is only a form, and it cannot be used to measure whether a person is worth interacting with."
True friends are never in the circle of friends.
2、
Circle of Friends is a social platform
Rather than a comparison platform
Someone said:
"Human happiness is often obtained through comparison, and if everyone around you is worse than you, even if you eat chaff vegetables, you will feel very happy."
But if the people around you are better off than you, you will definitely feel miserable. ”
That's true.
In life, many people use the circle of friends as a platform to show off their lives, compare themselves with others everywhere, and are not willing to be left behind.
This not only reduces happiness, but also allows yourself to miss out on a lot of happiness.
I once saw the diary of a netizen on Douban.
He said that he is now very afraid of his wife brushing the circle of friends, because every time he brushes his wife, he will always be unhappy.
It turned out that the wife of this netizen was very fond of comparing with others in the circle of friends.
One year on the wedding anniversary, in order to surprise his wife, he made a guide in advance and booked a flight ticket and hotel to Sanya.
But when he told his wife about the surprise, she was a little sullen.
Ask carefully to know that the wife's girlfriends choose to go abroad to celebrate on the wedding anniversary, and if they are only in china, they will definitely be laughed at by friends.
In order to make his wife happy, he could only promise to go abroad for the anniversary.
But along the way, his wife only cared about taking pictures and sending circles of friends, and did not enjoy the beautiful scenery with him at all.
He said that at that moment, his mood had fallen to the bottom, and he could not understand why his wife had to compare herself with her friends.
In life, there are actually many such people.
They are always comparing, always calculating.
In fact, although the circle of friends is a social platform, it is by no means a comparison platform.
Even so, why treat the circle of friends as a colosseum in order to outperform others, and let your life get worse and worse.
There is a saying: "Less than the top, more than the bottom." ”
People live a lifetime, and everyone's life is full of holes.
The comparison in the circle of friends seems to be just fighting for breath, but in fact, it will not get anything except to increase the annoyance.
Zhou Guoping said:
"Happiness is not to live like others, but to be able to listen to your own inner life."
Life is your own, there is no need to live for others to see, only live well according to your own wishes, in order to live up to the rest of your life.
3、
The essence of the circle of friends is to share
Not bondage
I don't know, have you ever had this experience:
Drink afternoon tea with friends, in order to send a circle of friends, spend a lot of time taking pictures and retouching pictures.
When I went out to play, I took a picture of the scenery with my hand, but I was worried that my friend felt that he had not seen the world and did not dare to post it.
Thinking left and right, hesitating, which makes the original happy sharing become an unnecessary psychological burden.
Writer Xie Kehui said in the book "May all the good in the world be just in time":
"People who don't like you don't like you because of what you send, and people who like you don't stay away from you because of what you send."
In the book, she also shares the past of her friends.
Friends like to share their own dynamics in the circle of friends, but suddenly they have not published any news for half a year.
When she asked, she learned that half a year ago, a friend shared a picture of herself baking in the circle of friends.
Unexpectedly, the next day, a colleague suggested that she might as well spend the time spent on baking and spending it on work more meaningfully because she watched the circle of friends, and "kindly" reminded her to remember to block the leader when she sent boring content.
In fact, the reason why my friend would go to baking was because I had worked overtime for 2 weeks in a row and wanted to relax.
Since then, before sending a circle of friends, friends will always be afraid of taking care of one or the other, worried that a circle of friends will affect their position in the hearts of others, and simply dare not send a circle of friends.
Later, with her relief, her friend began to send a circle of friends according to her wishes.
Soon after, a friend told her with relief:
"When I don't care about other people not caring, I feel much more relaxed."
Jobs said:
"Don't waste your own time in other people's lives, your time is limited;
Don't live in the results of other people's thinking, being bound and bound;
Don't let the noise from other people's opinions drown out your inner cry. ”
What you regard as a treasure may be only insignificant in the eyes of others;
It's a meaningful trip for you, and it's just a normal outing in the eyes of others.
In life, everyone has unique experiences and thoughts, and we don't have to be wronged because we care about the opinions of others.
After all, sending a circle of friends is to please yourself, not to make it a place of self-restraint and make yourself screwed.
Life is a long road, please send a circle of friends at will, don't let other people's voices cover up your happiness.
4、
The writer Lin Xia Satsuma once said:
"Whether or not to send a circle of friends, how many circles of friends to send, are all personal freedom."
There is nothing wrong with liking to be appreciated and being noticed, but don't let yourself be too indulgent, it is more important than false beauty, and it is more important to cling to the real wonderful, fleeting beauty. ”
Su Xin: Columnist. Racing in the workplace, but also love words. About the workplace, about life, about marriage, about women, I write my heart by hand. WeChat public account: Su Xin (ID: suxin98498). He is the author of "In the Hard World, Cultivate a Gentle Heart" and "Time is on the Left, Dust is on the Right".