Wen 丨 Qingxin Junyue
As one of the few beautiful women in Lu Yao's "Ordinary World", Hao Hongmei's emotional experience is full of ups and downs and setbacks.
When I first read it, I never understood what her misfortune came from. It is only now that I revisit the original work that I understand that her misfortune has an era reason and her own reasons.
At first, she prided herself on her beauty, trying to use beauty and marriage in exchange for the opportunity to change her destiny, but soon after the blow, she recognized the reality that life could not be completely attached to others after all.
In the end, Hao Hongmei, who experienced the hardships of life, harvested her own happiness, she married Tian Runsheng with her ex-husband's children, but at that time, she already had a different view of life, and she had already left the so-called beauty capital behind.
Change your life
Hao Hongmei's family composition is not good, when she was very young, her grandfather was put on the landlord's hat, and after her grandfather's death, this hat became a legacy and left to her family.
Therefore, in that era, Hao Hongmei's family had a very difficult life, and she grew up in the white eyes and discrimination of the people around her.
Although the poor family can only live in the grass shed where the cattle are fed, her parents still grit their teeth to provide her with school until high school, but the purpose is not to "change the fate of knowledge", but to broaden the channels for finding "men with conditions".
In this regard, Hao Hongmei knows and recognizes:
"She went to the high school in this county town for another purpose — maybe in these two years, she can climb a man with good conditions."
Therefore, when she had a sympathetic relationship with Sun Shaoping, whose fate was similar, she had carefully examined the man in front of her, and the result was that she could not give her fate to a man who was as poor as her:
"If this person is the son of a cadre, or the son of a peasant, but the family is in good condition, and there are relatives working outside the door, such as a family like Tian Runsheng, maybe they will also be moved."
Shortly after she distanced herself from Sun Shaoping, Gu Yangmin appeared in her sight. Gu Yangmin's father was the vice principal of the local teacher training college, his mother was an engineer, and his grandfather was a Chinese medicine doctor, so Gu Yangmin met her standards too much.
Therefore, she completely drew a clear line with Sun Shaoping and quickly came together with Gu Yangmin.
I can understand the longing of money, status, and a good life for a person who has suffered from life since childhood. However, this does not mean that I agree with Hao Hongmei's concept of mate selection, compared to changing my life by my own efforts, it is obviously easier to change my life with marriage, but is the shortcut really easy?
This shortcut is tantamount to treating oneself as a commodity to be sold at a price, allowing buyers with sufficient pockets to trade and buy, on the condition that the highest price will be obtained, and the price is to sell the body and soul.
Some people may think that I am too mean, but in fact, this kind of transaction is doomed to the risk of losing money, and even people and money are empty.
First, the marital happiness index without emotional basis is very low, and in the next few decades, you will have to face a person you don't love, and you can't wait for the itch for less than seven years;
Second, a woman without self and autonomy, the moment the palms of her hands are up, the marriage relationship is doomed to not be equal, and inequality is the source of many marriage breakdowns;
Third, men have money to attract women, does not mean that men do not care about women do not love him, the more rich and status of people, the more afraid of others to figure out his money instead of people.
Of course, some people may jump out to refute that marriages that are combined with love are not necessarily happy, which is indeed true, whether marriage is happy or not, there are many factors involved, not that there is love marriage is necessarily happy. However, if there is no love and only money to change your life, then the risk factor of such a marriage misfortune is higher.
In marriage choices, none of us can guarantee that the marriage will be happy, but we can reduce and avoid unnecessary risks as much as possible.
And Hao Hongmei did not think too much, love and marriage for her, is only a springboard to change the fate of herself and her family, and what she can rely on is her beauty.
Beautiful woman
Hao Hongmei, a very beautiful woman.
In the words of Sun Shaoping: "Hao Hongmei is actually the most beautiful girl in the class." It was only because of her tattered clothes and the color of her face that all the people did not notice this. ”
Hao Hongmei herself knows this well, so her beautiful appearance has become her hope for her and her family to change their lives. Therefore, it is normal that she does not look down on her poor children and grandchildren.
If Hao Hongmei looks mediocre, according to the character of her parents, she will never be hungry, and tighten her belt to live for her to go to high school. In that difficult era, the rarity of high school education can be seen, most of the peasant children will be like Sun Shaoan, going to junior high school is a great gift, more are not finished in primary school to work early to help the family reduce the burden.
And the poor Hao family sent their daughter all the way to high school, the reason is in addition to pinning the hopes of the whole family on their daughter, what is the appeal? After all, this is the only "transaction capital" that the Hao family can get their hands on.
In Zhang Ailing's "Complaining Girl", I once read such a sentence: "A beautiful girl, no matter how high or low she is born, always has an unlimited future, or when the number is unfathomable, she herself has the mystery of fate." This is yindi's inner monologue when she decides to marry the "sick ghost" Yao Erye. People with beautiful appearances will always have some pride if there is nothing, she hates the life of poverty, she enjoys the vanity of being chased, she is not willing to bury her beauty in mediocrity, she feels that she should have a better life, and her beauty capital brings her more benefits.
The Hao family and Hao Hongmei's ideas were generally the same as those of Yin Di.
I've always recognized that being pretty is an advantage, after all, people who are good looking can always get more easily liked by others. Especially in the choice of marriage and love, men like beautiful women, which does not have to be denied or found difficult to say, this is human nature, not only men, women are the same. As for the so-called "I value the heart more", it is also based on the fact that the other party has a not so bad appearance, otherwise, there may not even be an opportunity to understand the inside.
But advantage is not equal to capital, if a woman, the beauty of the beauty as her own can not work hard, or unearned capital, then, the end is likely to be the opposite of what she wants.
In marital love, the advantage of appearance only stays in the initial attraction, but this attraction will weaken with the growth of time together, and it is difficult to maintain an intimate relationship for a long time and stably, and it is difficult to rely on a face alone, and the flashy vase is useless in marriage, after all, marriage is based on life, and life will not be better because of a beautiful vase.
Moreover, beauty is the most unreliable thing, it will gradually blur with the passage of time, and a person's ability, cultivation, character and connotation will not be destroyed by time, a woman who only has beauty, other uselessness, when beauty is no longer, what should she rely on to live or maintain marriage?
Fortunately, in an emotional setback, Hao Hongmei recognized the reality, looked at life with a normal heart again, and began to make unremitting efforts for life. But Zhang Ailing's Yin Di fell deeper and deeper, and eventually lived a sad life.
Orphans and widows
Before graduating from high school, Hao Hongmei could not afford to buy gifts for her classmates because she was shy, and under the influence of vanity, she stole the handkerchief from the store and was caught on the spot.
This matter was pressed by Sun Shaoping, who learned the news, and Hao Hongmei fled and left Yuanxi County.
Although she left Yuanxi County, she and Gu Yangmin have always maintained a romantic relationship and often corresponded, and the parents of both sides also knew about the relationship between the two.
When she was immersed in the happiness of about to get rid of the sea of suffering, Gu Yangmin accidentally learned of the "stealing handkerchief" incident that year, the strict family style of the Gu family, is never allowed to enter the door of the woman with unclean hands and feet, at the same time, Gu Yangmin is also difficult to accept his lover to do this kind of thing, the relationship between the two ended.
Every time I read this, I wonder, if there was no "stealing the handkerchief" in the first place, if Hao Hongmei married Gu Yangmin as she wished, would she be happy?
To be honest I don't know, because she has a lot of problems in front of her. Will Gu Yangmin's parents accept this daughter-in-law, and will they not expect the combination of door to door? Even if his son reluctantly accepts it, can Hao Hongmei's life really be better? Besides, how could she persuade the other family to help her mother's family? After all, she wants not only a marriage, but also a marriage that can take her and her mother's family out of the sea of suffering.
Since breaking up with Gu Yangmin, Hao Hongmei no longer has the luxury of changing her fate through marriage, but also puts a touch of pride given to her by beauty and accepts an ordinary life. Soon after, she married a primary school teacher in a foreign county, and after marriage, she was very satisfied, although her husband's family situation was average, but he was honest and good to her, and the in-laws of the peasant family were also very satisfied with this educated daughter-in-law.
Just when she had just experienced the happiness of life and was pregnant with her husband's child, fate came out and forcibly intervened. Her husband was crushed to death while digging an earthen cave for his family.
For the sake of her son, she came out of her grief, living a difficult life alone with her child, and met Tian Runsheng after experiencing the difficulties of life.
Some people say that the reason why Tian Runsheng married Hao Hongmei is because she is beautiful. Personally do not agree with this, Hao Hongmei, who is worried about life, has long lost her former glory, it is her hardships that make Runsheng sympathetic, and then in the interaction between the two, Runsheng has obtained a sense of value and need in Hao Hongmei, which makes Runsheng, who has always been inferior, completely in love with Hao Hongmei, and at this time, Hao Hongmei has also obtained a sense of happiness, warmth and steadfastness in Runsheng, and they are willing to work together for a better life.
This belated happiness, they all cherished.
Qingxin Junyue, an emotional observer, ta said book critic, film critic. Warm you, me with words.