Author/Pond Fish
I found that in the matter of the feelings of two people, it is best for outsiders not to mix.
Because standing in the position of outsiders, it is always a more rational mentality to look at the relationship between two people and the subsequent development, while the people in it are completely emotional, after all, the experiences and memories that belong to two people alone cannot be experienced by outsiders.
All hesitations and choices are actually out of personal volition.
Therefore, you may always see: some people's feelings, obviously they are also complaining, blindly saying that they can't go on, but looking back, it is still they who continue to live their lives.
Just like some people, a second ago, said that they were going to divorce, but two days later, the news came out that two people had two children.
I have heard such things before, I always feel extremely surprised, do not understand why some people do not know how to stop losses in time, obviously know that there is a fire pit in front of them, or jump down without hesitation, eat once is not enough, still have to continue to suffer. Later, I gradually understood that everyone's personality is different, natural choices are different, and these choices will bring corresponding consequences, and this consequence can only be borne by themselves.
Moreover, people are always easy to be confused by the authorities, no matter who it is, when analyzing the feelings of others, it is inevitable that the head is the Tao, but if things really come to themselves, there are still many reasons and grievances that cannot be avoided.
Human emotions, if they can really be rational enough, then there will not be so many farces about feelings in this world.
To tell the truth, things in the relationship are sometimes like this, one is willing to fight and one is willing to be beaten. As an outsider, no matter what the relationship, many times to worry about other people's affairs, may be to add to their own blockage.
Recently, when I returned to my hometown for the Chinese New Year, I heard about such a thing.
An aunt I know, recently new Year's Day, with her ex-husband who has been divorced for four years back to her mother's house for the New Year, the aunt's eldest brother is particularly angry, because for this aunt's affairs, he and his brother-in-law have fought, and also said a lot of cruel words, and now seeing his sister make such a decision, his brother-in-law please eat and not go at all, directly to his sister said: You don't remember sex for a long time, are you not beaten enough?
At that time, this aunt's divorce could be described as a series of twists and turns, and it was not easy to make up her mind.
She and her husband have been together for nearly twenty years, have had two children, and the marriage in these years has not gone well, mainly because this aunt's husband has a serious machismo, has a bad temper, and often drinks too much at home, and makes excuses to beat people for no reason.
In the past, whenever they fought, the aunt definitely couldn't fight, so she chose to call the police, and finally the police knew them, and directly said, if they can't go on, simply leave it, it's good for both people.
Auntie is also relatively weak, she has been thinking about two children before, want to give the children a complete family, so did not make the decision to divorce. Later, growing up in such a family, after puberty, both children were particularly rebellious, talking and doing things a bit like their father's style, and the aunt realized the seriousness of the matter and began to seriously reflect on the relationship.
Later, after a fight, the fight was more serious, this aunt lived in the hospital, the eldest brother of the aunt's family learned of this matter, at that time with some people from the mother's side rushed over, saw the sister's injury, did not bear to fight with this brother-in-law.
After that, the aunt finally divorced her husband, she rented another house with her two children, did not give her ex-husband the address, and blocked all his contact information.
When the divorce, this aunt was just in her early 40s, she used to go back to her mother's house every time she returned to her mother's house for the New Year, someone would introduce her to the object, the aunt refused, saying that she had a big burden, two children, did not want to drag others, she herself could earn money to support two children, this life is like this, and gradually no one introduced her.
Until this year, the aunt took her ex-husband back to her mother's house for the New Year, which meant that they were going to remarry. It turned out that some time ago, the aunt's ex-husband finally found the place where they lived through his son. Next, it is the same drama that many people see in other people's stories, her ex-husband after re-finding her, behaved particularly well, did not smoke, did not drink, did not lose his temper, went to work honestly every day, went home after work to help cook and do housework, was particularly attentive, and also transferred a little money he had saved over the years to this aunt.
Although the money is not much, just more than ten thousand yuan, the aunt still has a heart of compassion.
The aunt saw her ex-husband's performance and believed that he had really changed and wanted to give him another chance, so this time she went home for the New Year and brought people back.
But obviously, this aunt's eldest brother, including the eldest sister-in-law, is not optimistic about her choice, saying that human nature is so easy to change, and they all agree that this brother-in-law is just pretending. Because of the years of divorce, he must also realize that he can no longer find anyone better than his ex-wife, and no one can worry about many things in life for him, so he wants to go back to his ex-wife. Under the goal of courtesy, what kind of mind is hidden is still unknown, because at present, they have not remarried, and they will certainly not be able to reveal it, is he really changed?
Auntie's eldest brother was very angry, anyway, he didn't want to have any more contact with this brother-in-law, but since he saw that his sister had already made this decision, it was not good to say anything more, only to talk about her affairs in the future, he didn't want to care.
I have found that no matter what age a person is, many people are really prone to make a mistake in their feelings: the people they love are different from the thousands of lessons in this world. So I always ignore the advice of others, and I will not feel anything until I have really experienced it.
But these feelings, in the eyes of those who have not experienced it, are always just a few light words, so basically no one can really listen to them.
The so-called empathy is really difficult, and no matter how profound the personal truth is, it may not be able to cause reflection and perception in others.
People live in the world, prefer to live according to their own sensibilities, whether right or wrong, in the end it is just a process of self-acceptance. So, some people, some other people's choices, whether you think it's right or wrong, you don't have to persuade, you can't persuade.
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