For love
Text/Egret Forest
Synopsis:
Seemingly perfect life has imperfect love, seemingly imperfect life but harvested perfect love. What coincidence is there in between? Because love, as a mixed product of social life, requires too many conditions, including personality, age, economic conditions, social status, cultural level, skills in dealing with the world, psychological maturity and so on.
This story tells the story of the elderly young woman Ruan Xia, who once suffered from depression, met Liu Yuheng, a civil servant who was recently divorced, through the Internet, and the two quickly fell in love. But Liu Yuheng did not know Ruan Xia's past. After getting married, Ruan Xia recurred because of the old illness of pregnancy, and the past kept pouring into her heart and almost collapsed. And Ruan Xia's past feud began to come to Ruan Xia's trouble again. Where will Ruan Xia's marriage go? What happened to Ruan Xia's past? In the midst of her pain, Ruan Xia wrote a blog that revealed her own red dust past that she had hidden for ten years. She was cornered by the university teachers she blindly admired and suffered from depression, committing suicide several times without success. After the disease recurred, Ruan Xia almost committed suicide, but fortunately was able to save herself. The storyline is complex and tortuous, and good and evil are displayed separately. But the end of the story is what you envision.
Part 1 The Late Wedding (3)
Falling in Love (1)
One night, Liu Yuheng rested, and he came to Yuxiuling to ask Ruan Xia to go out for a walk.
They walked south along Furong Road, chatting as they walked.
Saying that it was a chat, basically Liu Yuheng was talking, and Ruan Xia only occasionally talked a few words.
To tell the truth, Ruan Xia admired Liu Yuheng's eloquence, and every time they met, he had endless words, and he revealed his spiritual world to Ruan Xia without concealment.
He told Ruan Xia about his life in the army, his efforts to jump out of the farm, the setbacks he had suffered, the struggles in his military school, the experience of becoming a cadre, and he changed careers for love, but love became a extinguished candlelight.
Ruan Xia herself is also a woman who struggled from the countryside, and she has also fought for love, and suffered greater misfortune than Liu Yuheng has suffered, all this, although she did not tell Liu Yuheng, because she did not trust Liu Yuheng enough, but in her heart, she could fully understand Liu Yuheng, she also admired his self-motivation, agreed with all his efforts for life, and sympathized with his misfortune. Unconsciously, she found herself slowly falling in love with this unassuming young man from the depths of her heart.
But will this liking bear fruit?
Ruan Xia was not sure.
Thinking of this, and also thinking about what to do without Liu Yuheng, thinking of the scene of losing hope in the past, Ruan Xia remembered Tao Yuanming and Su Dongpo, whom she had studied over the years.
Tao Yuanming chose to return to the countryside for the sake of spiritual comfort, Su Dongpo's life was full of ups and downs but he was very optimistic, all the setbacks and blows for him were basically like hair crushing the top without any impact, and his spiritual world was very harmonious.
Ruan Xia thought about the hardships she had endured before, the pain in her heart, and the life experience that made her collapse, and she felt that she had not adjusted her heart, and she should have studied Tao Yuanming and Su Dongpo earlier, and she would not have a later illness.
This time, regardless of success or failure, she would never let the pain torment herself again.
So she said to Liu Yuheng, "Even if you leave me in the future, I will not be sad." I like Su Dongpo, who has suffered and beaten all his life, but he is very optimistic. Sometimes, we really should learn from the ancients. ”
Liu Yuheng didn't know much about Su Dongpo, he glanced at the thin woman next to him, as if he didn't understand what she meant by that.
Under the street lamp, I saw Ruan Xia looking at the road ahead, her eyes were empty and confused, her face was solemn, and her eyebrows were determined, as if she was determined to do something.
Liu Yuheng himself did not know what kind of results he would have with the woman next to him, he frowned, and could only be silent.
But this woman has a mysterious charm in it that attracts him, and he can't tell what kind of charm it is, but this woman does not have to fight when she goes out like other girls, eats like KFC and McDonald's, seems to see life very thoroughly and really, does not show off and is not vain, and looks at all the prosperous and worldly things lightly, this feeling is like drinking a cup of tea, taking a small sip, tasting carefully, as if the more you drink, the more delicious it is.
On this day, they walked around the street for a long time, and did not send Ruan Xia home until after eleven o'clock.
On the way home, Liu Yuheng suddenly had a whim, and also taking advantage of the cover of night, he had the courage to say to Ruan Xia: "Let me carry you for a while, right?" ”
Ruan Xia desperately resisted and pushed away, but Liu Yuheng couldn't help but rush to the front of Ruan Xia, bent down and held Ruan Xia's legs behind her back.
Ruan Xia remembered the appearance of the daughter-in-law of the Pig Eight Commandments, and felt very funny in her heart, there are still such men!
At the same time, I also remembered the scene when my roommate was drunk in college and was carried back to the dormitory by her boyfriend, which was a romantic and beautiful time.
But she and Liu Yuheng had never been in such close contact, so they kept struggling: "Let me down!" Put me down! ”
Liu Yuheng was impulsive and brute force, he just wouldn't let go of Ruan Xia until he finally couldn't walk.
Ruan Xia was angry and annoyed and funny, annoyed by his abruptness, but she didn't know how to blame him, so she had to go with him.
Falling in Love(2)
When she got home, her parents were already asleep, and Ruan Xia quietly entered the door.
In the dead of night, she sat alone in front of the mirror, carefully examining her face. This face had been seen for thirty-six years and was all too familiar.
The passage of youth year after year makes this face very mature, and the pink and green of youth remain only in the picture frame of memory.
Originally, when she was a student, she also had a photo album with the beautiful pictures of her youth, but when she was ill, she burned the album.
There were also many good times in my youth, but the bad memories were even heavier. For a long time, this unpleasantness completely occupied her memory, and it worsened day by day, eventually destroying her health, and she eventually suffered from depression.
It was a very terrible time, and in the nightmarish memory she tore her soul in pain, glared at all people, and completely hated and despaired of the world.
I don't know how many times she tried to end her life.
The only good impression is that her grandmother, who has been dead for many years, is that she would love to be with her grandmother.
Thinking of this, Ruan Xia sighed, and tears overflowed her eyes.
Now, the condition was finally controlled, but Ruan Xia's heart, like a dead, left only a faint breath, pursuing nothing, yearning for nothing.
The desire that was as light as water made her wander gently in the rolling red dust, and she understood Tao Yuanming's ease, but did not have the optimism of Su Dongpo.
For many years, she had not experienced a state of great sorrow and great joy, everything was as idyllic as a picture of a country pastoral, and she was very comfortable with this life.
Little did she know that this was what set her apart and what made her charm.
However, people in the world do not understand the situation of a schizophrenic, they will only laugh at her, spy on her and even bully her. In order to survive, Ruan Xia and her family hid the fact that she was ill.
She worked and lived like a healthy person without arousing the suspicion of those around her. However, she did not dare to accept the blind date introduced to her by her colleagues, she was afraid that this secret would be exposed one day, afraid of other people's strange eyes and strange attitudes towards her, although her illness had been controlled, but she could not control the hearts of others.
I don't know what the result will be with this Liu Yuheng this time?
But no matter what, you have to be extremely careful.
Ruan Xia knew that she must protect herself from being hurt again.
Mindfulness and this, the mobile phone suddenly rang, in this silent late night the sound is particularly loud, the mother was awakened, in the haze read a sentence: "Still not sleeping?" ”
"I'll go to sleep right away." Ruan Xia hurried to deal with her mother.
The call came from Liu Yuheng: "Tired today, right?" Sleep late tomorrow! I'll bring you breakfast, okay? ”
"Excuse me, huh?" You're so far away! ”
"It's okay, I got up early and wanted to see you as soon as I got up!"
Ruan Xia couldn't help but smile slightly: "Okay then." But tomorrow you can't come in, you can only stand outside the door. ”
"Obey orders! Then rest early today and see you tomorrow morning! ”
"Okay. Baybay!”
“Baybay!”
The next morning, Ruan Xia, who had woken up, was still lying on the bed, there was a knock on the door of the living room, Ruan Xia guessed that Liu Yuheng had arrived, and quickly let her mother open the door, and Ruan Xia herself quickly got up and entered the living room.
Liu Yuheng stood outside the door carrying a bag of breakfast.
Ruan Xia took the breakfast and found that the breakfast was very rich, there were buns, roasted goods, steamed buns, bread, and two large bottles of nutrition express, it seemed that Liu Yuheng had prepared breakfast for Ruan Xia's whole family.
Liu Yuheng's dress today is very different from the past, his hair is combed, his beard is freshly shaved, his suit is straight, his eyes are shining, his face may have been washed with facial cleanser, clean and shiny, the whole person looks radiant, and he has become a very young handsome guy.
Probably thinking of meeting Ruan Xia's parents, Liu Yuheng deliberately dressed up carefully.
The effect of this dressing up is very good, ruan xia can't help but be moved.
It seems that not only men are, but women are also lustful.
But Ruan Xia only said thank you to Liu Yuheng lightly, and sent him back, but did not let him enter the door.
As soon as the door closed, Ruan Xia's father said, "This guy wants it, it's pretty good!" ”
The mother also took the stubble: "It is really good, people are very young and very spiritual." ”
Ruan Xia only stole the music in her heart, and said in her mouth: "Breakfast without money, let's eat it, don't eat white, don't eat white." ”
Since then, Liu Yuheng has come every morning to bring breakfast to Ruan Xia, who wants to test his perseverance and does not let him enter the door every time.
Perhaps the old man's heart is the softest, Ruan Xia's mother spoke: "Others come to deliver breakfast every day, and you don't let others enter the door. Even ordinary friends should let people come in and sit down! ”
Ruan Xia's father was also there to help.
Ruan Xia listened to her mother's reasonableness, so she called Liu Yuheng: "My parents said, tomorrow you come in and sit down." ”
Liu Yuheng had long been eager to enter Ruan Xia's home.
Every morning, Ruan Xia's laziness and messiness when she had just woken up and not freshened up made him feel a strong sense of family, and his heart was pounding like a deer.
Liu Yuheng's daily godly unguarding also made his relatives and friends aware of it.
Every day, he took his mobile phone in circles at his aunt's house, hesitating whether to call Ruan Xia, who often looked in his eyes and was amused in his heart.
Finally, one day, the eldest sister asked him: "Looking for a girlfriend, right?" Every day the soul does not guard the house. ”
Liu Yuheng knew that he could not hide from them, so he had to confess and be lenient: "She is a very good girl, graduated with a master's degree, and is a university teacher." ”
"O master! Such a high degree! How old are you? ”
"A little older than me, thirty-six."
"Yo, I'm a little older, and my education is too high, which is not very appropriate." I think the girls your aunt introduced to you are more appropriate. You may not be able to catch up with this master! That's not a waste of money! ”
"It doesn't matter if you can't catch up, you can be a friend!" How can you get it without chasing? I'm not afraid of wasting money! Liu Yuheng replied.
His eldest sister saw that he could not persuade his younger brother, so he had to do it.
Because he knew that his brother was a donkey, the nine cows he had decided to do could not be pulled back.
But in their hearts, they secretly pinched a handful of sweat for Liu Yuheng, and they also secretly asked people to find a "suitable" girl for him.
The next morning, Liu Yuheng came to Ruan Xia's door with breakfast, and Ruan Xia's parents received him very warmly.
Liu Yuheng had already prepared a draft of how to talk to Ruan Xia's parents the night before, and practiced many times alone in front of the mirror, coupled with the eloquence he had trained as a cadre in the army and his politeness, which made Ruan Xia's parents greatly appreciate it, and really responded to the sentence: "The more the mother-in-law looks at her son-in-law, the more she looks at it, the more happy she is." ”
Since then, Liu Yuheng has become a regular visitor to Ruan Xia's family.
Liu Yuheng is a "poor egg" (1)
The days go by quickly, especially the days of falling in love, a pair of young people are eager to start a family, and they are interacting with each other with a very sincere heart, so the feelings are like a day.
The weather in the winter of this year was particularly good, it rained only once every ten days and a half months, basically the sun was bright and vigorous every day, and Liu Yuheng had to ask Ruan Xia to go out to play almost every day.
In the Ruan family, Liu Yuheng is not idle, buying vegetables to cook, mopping the floor for hygiene, doing everything, and the daily breakfast is Liu Yuheng's package, so the Ruan family's parents are very satisfied with Liu Yuheng's personality.
But after all, it is to find a son-in-law, but also to see the economic conditions, heard that Liu Yuheng bought an affordable house, Ruan's mother proposed to see the house.
In fact, Liu Yuheng's economy is more embarrassing, his previous transfer fees were all used to build a house, his ex-wife did not work, only occasionally did odd jobs, basically relying on Liu Yuheng's salary to support his family, he gave the house to his ex-wife when he divorced, and there was almost no extra money on him.
In order to buy this house, he also borrowed a lot of money from relatives and friends, so as far as the current situation is concerned, he is simply a poor egg.
When he first met Ruan Xia, he also thought about giving up because he was shy, only because he felt too good about Ruan Xia and was not willing to give up, he insisted until today, fortunately, the Ruan family never asked him economic questions.
His only current property is this affordable house with a deposit of 50,000 yuan, and the house has just been completed, but the supporting facilities around the house are still under construction, and there is still almost a year to go before the specific delivery.
But Liu Yuheng is also very proud to have such a house, after all, this is his hard-earned family business.
This Sunday, after breakfast, Liu Yuheng took Ruan Xia, Ruan Xia's mother and Ruan Xia's sister-in-law Huang Lu to see the house together.
Liu Yuheng's house was built on the eastern outskirts of Jingdu City. Affordable housing is generally built in the suburbs far from the city center because of the cheap land prices and cheap house prices, so that the cost can be reduced and the suburbs can also be developed.
Liu Yuheng and his party took two buses and went to the eastern suburbs.
Ruan Xia only knew that the road was so far away, but she couldn't tell the direction, because she had never been to this place.
The eastern suburbs are under development and construction, and the wide road has not yet been paved with asphalt, and the bluestone sand is full of yellow dust.
Liu Yuheng told Ruan Xia: "This road is called Guangyuan East Road, which is the main road connecting the railway station and the eastern suburbs. After the road was repaired, it was very convenient to get to the train station. ”
The community where the house is located is called the Eastern Suburb Pearl Community, which is located on the left side of Guangyuan East Road and is built by Xindu Real Estate Company.
Xindu Real Estate Company is a real estate company vigorously supported by the Jingdu Municipal Government, with strong power, he bought five hundred acres of land in the eastern suburbs at a time, of which three hundred acres were used to develop affordable housing, and the other two hundred acres were used for commercial housing development.
The project is divided into three phases, the first and second phases are affordable housing projects, and the third phase is the commercial housing project. Liu Yuheng's house belongs to the first phase of the project, with a total of 20 houses and an area of 130 acres.
Although the house has been repaired, the community is still full of loess mounds, ravines and ravines, and there is not even a gate. There was a thick wooden fence around the house, and Liu Yuheng led everyone around the wooden fence for half a circle before finding the way in.
Walking into the community, due to a rain just two days ago, there were small potholes everywhere, and there was mud everywhere.
Because it was almost the New Year, the workers were no longer working, and only an old man who watched the house lived in a small miscellaneous house in the easternmost house.
Liu Yuheng asked him for the key to the house he had bought, and took Ruan Xia and others to find the door of the unit where the house was located.
Walking into the gate, they went up to the third floor, and Liu Yuheng introduced: "The third floor is the best floor, and it is also the most expensive floor. My aunt also came to see it and said that the house was in a good location. ”
Liu Yuheng opened a sky blue security door on the right side of the stairwell and entered a small suite with two bedrooms and two halls, which is Liu Yuheng's future home.
The living room, dining room, bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom have been seen one by one, and this house is only a little larger than Ruan Xia's home, and it is a newly built original rough house, with cement walls on all sides, which looks gray and not slippery.
"It's just such a house, it's really not good." Ruan Xia's heart suddenly sank, "Liu Yuheng turned out to be a poor egg, and he could only afford to buy such a bad house!" ”
Ruan Xia is a person who is not good at hiding her feelings, she thought so in her heart, her face immediately showed a disappointed expression, all the smiles were lost, the eyebrows were tight, and the mouth was also high, almost hanging twelve oil bottles.
As soon as Liu Yuheng saw Ruan Xia's look changed dramatically, he knew that Ruan Xia was not satisfied with the house, and he quickly explained one by one: "When the road is repaired and the greening of the community is done well, it will be very comfortable to live here." Whether a house is good or not, the supporting facilities are very important. The Jingdu Municipal People's Government attaches great importance to the development of the eastern suburbs, as long as the road can be repaired in one or two months, then this side will be renewed. Our house has a great view and the ventilation in each room is exceptional. At that time, when choosing a house, my aunt came to see it and said that this house was good. ”
But no matter how he explained it, Ruan Xia just didn't say a word with a straight face.
Liu Yuheng is a "poor egg" (2)
Ruan's mother was also disappointed in the house, but she did not show it on her face, she saw Ruan Xia so unhappy, afraid that Liu Yuheng was uncomfortable, she took the initiative to talk to Liu Yuheng more, Liu Yuheng was comforted in her heart.
But he couldn't do anything about Ruan Xia's anger, and his heart was both sad and aggrieved: "If she is really not satisfied with herself, then give up." I can't force anyone else. It is true that they have no money, and it is impossible for girls not to look at economic conditions, and wait for a few years when they have money to talk about friends. ”
However, he did not reveal his thoughts on the surface, but talked to Ruan's mother and Huang Lu vigorously.
In fact, Ruan Xia was also very conflicted in her heart: "Liu Yuheng's personality is really good, but surely the economic conditions are not good, will he be happy with him?" What should I do? It's hard to find an ideal object! ”
"But he once said he wanted to make some investment next year and wanted to buy a car, and he was bragging to make me happy?"
"At the beginning of the acquaintance, he told himself that he only had more than two thousand yuan a month, and he was telling the truth, probably idealizing him in his imagination!"
All kinds of thoughts flashed through Ruan Xia's mind.
But think about his interaction with Liu Yuheng during this period of time, his enthusiasm and generosity, his sincerity and sincerity, his diligence and kindness, and his hard work, his careful consideration for himself, and all kinds of care, which makes Ruan Xia feel the warmth and happiness that she has never had before.
Is it because of this that it is easy to give up?
Ruan Xia is not willing, nor willing, no matter what, she has fallen in love with Liu Yuheng, it is difficult to give up when she falls in love, this is the law of love!
At the same time, Ruan Xia found a reason for herself not to give up: "As long as the two truly love each other, economic difficulties can be overcome." He also has tens of thousands of yuan in savings and a stable job; Liu Yuheng is also a civil servant with a stable income, and he will not be too difficult in the future. ”
"There is a lyric in "Heavenly Immortal Matching": 'Although the cold kiln is broken, it can shelter from the wind and rain, and the love of husband and wife is bitter and sweet'. The ancients all saw love so clearly, let alone us modern people? Maybe the feelings of sharing happiness and suffering, and the feelings of sharing with each other will be sweeter and longer-lasting. ”
Thinking of this, Ruan Xia's face finally showed a heartfelt smile again, and she took the initiative to talk to Liu Yuheng.
Seeing Ruan Xia's smile, Liu Yuheng let out a long breath, and the heart he was carrying finally put down: "The crisis has passed, this woman has finally figured it out, and probably she has also experienced countless fierce ideological struggles in her heart." I didn't expect that there are girls who don't love money, and their luck is really good! ”
For this reason, he cherished the woman in front of him even more, and his heart hurt her even more, and he also felt that he had not misread her at the beginning, and it was a great and wise decision to take the initiative to chase her!
After returning home, Ruan's mother quietly said to Ruan Xia: "This little Liu may not have good economic conditions." Huang Lu had said before that looking at the clothes he was wearing would tell he had no money. Buy such a small house now! You see? ”
Ruan Xia knew that her mother was testing herself, so she said, "My brother also lives in such a big house, and he also lives very comfortably." When they got married, they still rented a house to live in, and their sister-in-law didn't think of him, and they are not very happy now! Some people have a big house, but people are not necessarily good. The ancients said: 'It is easy to ask for priceless treasures, and it is rare to have a lover.' Liu Yuheng is a civil servant, the civil servant has a stable job, but also a sought-after commodity, many people want to find civil servants. I have a job myself, and I should not live too badly in the future. (To be continued)