What are we working so hard for all our lives?
Some people are for money, some people are for their families, and some people are for being good people.
Most of the time what we pursue, it also reflects the desire of the heart.
The movie "The Life of the Abandoned Pine Nut" is a story about chasing love.
The heroine Matsuko has longed to be loved all her life, but she is abandoned by one man after another, and finally gives up hope for life.
The film has similarities with the famous novel "Human Disqualification", the hero of the book degenerated step by step, and eventually became mentally insane, which in the eyes of the author is tantamount to "losing the qualification to be a human being".
Matsuko's bleak old age also developed mental illness, and the tragedy of her life was doomed from a young age.
A childhood devoid of love.
As the eldest daughter, Kujiri Matsuko lacked the love of her parents from an early age, and her younger sister Kumi was weak and sick, and she could not even go out for a walk, and her father's love was more poured into this daughter.
Once, when his father came back from an outing with a beautifully wrapped gift in his hand, Matsuko greeted him with great excitement, but his father went straight to The room on the second floor.
Little Pine Nut looked at the back of her father who closed the door, and her eyes were full of loneliness.
"And I'm always alone."
Loneliness took root deep in Matsuko's heart.
In her impression, she was most happy that on her birthday, her father took her to eat pancakes, and the delicious taste brought by joy was constantly remembered by her wandering life afterwards.
That day, her father also took her to see a comedy troupe performance.
The funny performance made Matsuko laugh continuously, but his father did not have the slightest expression - Jigami's illness made him unhappy for a long time.
In order to make her father laugh, Matsuko learns to grimace on stage.
Father laughed.
Later, that expression stayed with her for the rest of her life, and every time she grimaced at her father, he couldn't help but laugh out loud.
When she grew up, Matsuko went to the school her father wanted her to go to, and she also became a music teacher in the profession that her father wanted her to be.
She wanted to be the most beloved daughter in her father's heart.
Perhaps her personality of flattery and giving was formed at that time.
"Original Family" points out that the child's world is very small, no matter how violent the parents are, for them, the parents are still the only source of love and comfort.
The cultivation of a person's personality often depends on his original family, and the actions or words of the parents will affect the psychological development of a child.
When we were young, we liked a dress, but our parents always said that it was too expensive and could not afford it, but did not tell us in the right way why we did not buy the dress.
In the long run, it is easy to form an inferiority complex.
And this psychology will stay with us for a lifetime, and it is difficult to get rid of it completely.
The love that Matsuko lacks in her childhood is the main reason for her tragic life.
A lifetime of pursuit of love.
During a school trip, the student Long Yangyi stole the money from the travel agency, but Matsuko blamed him and said that he stole it himself, and the school expelled her.
"At that moment, I felt like my life was over."
She did not dare to face her father, hurried home to pack her bags and left.
Since then, she has begun a life of degeneration step by step.
Matsuko had five men in her life: a down-and-out writer who committed suicide; a husband who pursued her husband because of vanity; a partner who invested in partnership to earn money; a simple and beautiful barber; and Yūichi Ryu, who was involved in the underworld, and was also her former student.
And these relationships, without exception, have all ended in failure.
Matsuko ignited passion again and again on the road to the pursuit of love, but was hurt by it again and again.
It is worth noting that Matsuko in the film did not reject the confession of anyone.
Perhaps for her, as long as she can get the love of others, she can give everything, even her life, regardless of herself.
"As long as you are not alone"
Matsuko experienced a boring prison life in her bumpy life, and she also put down her self-esteem as a bath girl.
Life tired her, and she remembered that warm hometown.
When she got home, she opened her father's diary.
On every page: No pine nuts message.
Her father died three months after she left, and she had been reading Matsuko until her death.
His sister Jigami also died, and her last words were "Sister, you are back." ”
She cried bitterly, it turned out that she had always been deeply loved.
Perhaps because everything could not go back in the end, she had no choice to stay.
A miserable and hopeless old age.
"Never love anyone again, trust anyone again."
At this time, she is like a pool of stagnant water, and she has no enthusiasm and hope for life.
The year was Showa 63 and she was 40 years old.
She found a house and began a long and lonely life, and outside the house was a river like her hometown.
"I miss my hometown and live like this."
Perhaps it was the real world that made her despair, and Matsuko later fell in love with a star on TV.
She bought his albums, went to his concerts, and even wrote letter after letter, looking forward to receiving a reply one day.
This clip in the film portrays Matsuko's loneliness to the fullest, she no longer wants to trust anyone in the real world, but gives her love to a person who is illusory, and all her beautiful fantasies can be obtained from it.
In 1936, Matsuko 51.
In her later years, she had mental problems.
At the hospital, she meets her former prison friend Kei Sawamura.
At this time, my friend's career was in full swing.
Trying to escape, she pulls Nakazawa Kei and gives her her her business card, hoping she will come over and help her.
Matsuko, who had fled into the wilderness, returned to her home, and she saw her sister Jigami.
Of course it was her hallucination.
At that moment she was relieved—the sister she loved and hated.
Matsuko is jealous that her sister has robbed her of her love, and even when she tells her sister about someone she likes, her father reprimands her severely because Jigme can't fall in love.
In her father's eyes, Jigme cannot have love, and Matsuko's actions are undoubtedly a kind of harm.
However, she also loves her sister deeply at the same time, and her complex and contradictory emotions make her finally show her dislike for Jigami, which has become the regret of her life.
She was finally full of hope for life again, this time because of family affection.
Fate always seemed to be joking with her.
Matsuko's life is aimless but full of absurdity. The same goes for her death.
She was beaten to death by a group of teenagers.
Before she died, she clutched the hopeful business card in her hand.
The entire film presents Matsuko's tragic life in the form of a comedy, which seems to imply that her life is like a joke.
Looking back on Matsuko's life, she actually just wanted a love.
If the father's love could have been given to her a little bit, wouldn't there have been no tragedy after that?
But fortunately, Matsuko was redeemed and given a new hope before she died, and that hope did not come from her love for men, but from the love of her sister in her heart.
Although death greeted her, she no longer had any regrets.
The film also asks us the question: What are you after?
I think everyone is not different.
The famous novel "The Moon and Sixpence" says: Chasing dreams is chasing his own doom, in the street full of sixpence, he looked up but saw the moon.
The hero in the book gave up his happy and harmonious family, but in middle age, he did not hesitate to pursue his ideals.
He could live in the dirtiest rooms and eat the most rudimentary meals, but he could not live without paintbrush paint.
In the end, he died under the erosion of the disease, but he completed the ideal he pursued, a shocking painting.
Apparently, in both matter and spirit he chose the moon in his heart.
Some people say that Matsuko's tragic life is that she constantly pins her hopes on men.
I think that what is expressed here is not about the independence of women, but the courage of Matsuko not to bow to fate again and again.
She pursues love in the same way that we pursue the ideals we aspire to in life.
The film is meant to tell us: don't lose hope for the future at any time, please keep going