If man dies after realizing his life, death loses its horror!
- "When Nietzsche Wept"
"When Nietzsche Wept" is a psychological novel written by the famous American psychologist Owen Yalon, which takes place between the 40-year-old psychologist Breyer and the 38-year-old philosopher Nietzsche.
Breyer was Freud's teacher, Nietzsche was a famous German philosopher, and both were real people.
The novel is a bit like today's "fandom" text, and in real history, Brel and Nietzsche certainly haven't seen it, but that doesn't mean there isn't such a possibility. From Nietzsche's letters, it is learned that friends suggested that Nietzsche go to Brehr to see a doctor, but Nietzsche refused.
Agreeing that "history is a novel that has already happened, and a novel is history that may have happened", the author envisions another possibility of history: Lu Salome, who was admired by Nietzsche, asked the famous physician Breel to treat Nietzsche.
Thus the top figures in philosophy and psychology met.
Brell's conversation with Nietzsche benefited both of them, and eventually they were inspired to be healed from each other.
Although the plot is fictional, many of the letters in the novel, as well as the cases of Brehr's application, are real.
Their conversations covered many common life issues such as love, marriage, infidelity, midlife crisis, meaning of life, death, and more.
Among them, Brehr's midlife crisis is very representative.
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With a career in the ascendant, beautiful wives and children, cured countless sick, and idolized by young students like Freud, Dr. Brehr can say that he has everything satisfying.
However, at the age of forty, he developed anxiety and despair.
Standing at the top of the mountain, I had a clear view of the way down the mountain.
He suffered a midlife crisis.
The word midlife crisis itself is very meaningful. There are many stages in life, adolescence, youth, middle age, old age, but only middle age is associated with crisis.
Middle-aged people begin to appreciate the finiteness of time, or the finiteness of life.
When people are young, they always feel that they have unlimited possibilities, even if they do not have them now, there is always hope for the future.
However, when people reach middle age, they find that the ideals of their youth are just a dream, and even if they become famous like Brehr, they have no expectations for their later life: he knows that he has reached the peak, and the next thing is to go down the mountain, that is, death.
I once saw a very apt description on the Internet: life is like answering an exam paper, young people are the entire paper will not do the question, but there is a long time before the paper is handed in; middle-aged people know the answer, but there is no time to answer.
Young people always feel that death is a very distant thing, an unfortunate experience and encounter, an accident that should have been avoided but unfortunately came.
But for middle-aged and elderly people, death is the homecoming.
The British writer Alain De Botton suggested that young people imagine that they can live to 700 years, so that the problem that plagues them now is no longer a problem.
For young people, this is true, although three or five years of youth feel particularly long, but from the perspective of the entire span of life, it is only a few short years.
This is not the case for middle-aged people.
The pressure of age is approaching little by little as death approaches, not in front of you at once, but little by little, even unconsciously.
Ni adopted the concept of "eternal reincarnation" in his philosophy to help Brehr realize the midlife crisis: to imagine that this life will always exist, that unfulfilled experiences will never be experienced, is this the life you want?
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Since crises are related to death, why is there no crisis in old age who are closer to death?
Because middle-aged people still have options.
If middle-aged people are standing on the top of the mountain, young people are climbing the mountain, and old people are already down to the bottom of the mountain.
The people who climb the mountain are undistracted and bent on climbing to the top of the mountain; the people at the foot of the mountain look back at the mountain, calm and indifferent.
Only the people at the top of the mountain are most afraid: the mountain they climbed is right? Have you chosen a path that you never wanted to choose?
In Escape from Freedom, Fromm argues that the other side of freedom is anxiety and loneliness.
Freedom means taking responsibility and enduring loneliness.
This may also explain the existence of masochism: completely putting one's fate in the hands of others, this escape can bring ease, freedom from loneliness.
Many times people are pushed by external things, do not think about what they really want, and even take the needs of the outside world as their own needs.
Teenagers rarely think about "who I am", and life is concretized into various stages of schooling, exams, grades, employment, marriage, and having children.
Many people have discovered a certain specialty because of family reasons, the expectations of their parents, or when they are in school, or even because of serendipity, they have engaged in a certain profession and married someone.
At first, he did not think there was anything wrong with this, and lived according to the "social clock" until his career was stable and his life was relatively stable and rich, and he had the freedom of choice.
Along with this comes the anxiety and pain of choice.
Brehr was not afraid of old age and death, he was afraid of not actually living.
He was afraid that everything about himself was meaningless, that he wasn't really himself.
When people reach middle age, they suddenly look back and find that they have nothing but the responsibilities that society demands of them, and they do not know where the real "me" is.
"Self" is a process of search and discovery, although everyone has a "self", but not everyone can recognize the "self".
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A few days ago, I saw a news that consultants who earned tens of millions of dollars gave up their profession with an annual salary of several million to breed earthworms.
Many people do not understand her choice, and many people think that she sees new business opportunities.
However, for whatever reason, one thing is certain, after accumulating enough capital, she chose "self".
When I saw this news, I asked Mr. F on the side, if we make fifty million, what will we do?
Ben asked casually, but the silence that followed was shocking, and it turned out that none of us had ever thought about it.
Dozens of pieces, hundreds of pieces, thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions, can find ready-made corresponding consumption: food, clothing, skin care, fitness, tourism, houses, financial management and so on.
However, no matter how much money is, it is not beyond the scope of material needs.
Once we go beyond that, we're at a loss, and no one thinks about what to do after achieving financial freedom.
We are like hamsters running on wheels that never stop.
Brehr was lucky enough to have enough money and social status to sustain him to stop and look for the "self" he had.
He chose to run away from home, say goodbye to his lover, and try a new career and a new life.
However, this novel is not a psychological version of The Moon and Sixpence, and Brehr is not Strickland who can give up everything to pursue his painting dreams.
After running away from home, he found that he had nothing to do, nothing but to be a doctor, and when he dissolved his fantasies about his lover, he found that he still loved his wife deeply and missed his children.
In a barbershop in another city, looking at himself in the mirror haggard and old, he began to regret all this...
At this moment, Freud's call sounded: he had performed hypnosis at Breyer's instructions, and now it was time to wake Breyer.
This is where the novel is moving, and it is also the "psychological comfort" that ordinary people need more: geniuses like Nietzsche are only a minority after all, and most people rarely give up everything to pursue their dreams.
But this does not mean that ordinary people cannot overcome the crisis and cannot find freedom.
When breeel woke up, he was like a new life, he understood what he wanted, and he made choices about his family and career again.
The pursuit of self does not necessarily negate everything that exists, the key is to recognize yourself.
If everything that exists is unreflected, imposed by external forces such as society and family, and has never been thought of, no matter how successful it is, it is not really wanted.
On the contrary, making one's own choices, the heart is full and satisfied, even if on the surface it is no different from the previous life, but it is a different life of self-identification.
For example, a video Up master, forced by the pressure of the platform to record video, to a certain extent after the beginning of boredom. After thinking about it, he found that he still liked to record videos, liked to share, and still chose the same profession.
Only this time, not out of a livelihood and out of work, but out of hobby.
The midlife crisis is the process by which the shadow of death forces people to discover and know themselves, and the way out lies in learning to face death and realize their own lives before death.
"If man dies after he has fulfilled his life, death loses its horror!"
In the face of death, that is, Heidegger said "born to die", people can realize the real me, can really choose their own path, so that at the end of life there will be no regrets and regrets, let alone anxiety and fear.