Letter: I witnessed my mother's affair

Gongzi Teacher:

Hello, today I plucked up enough courage to pour out to you a long-suppressed thing in my heart, because of this matter, I can't breathe, I am humble and ashamed. My whole teenage years were shattered by this incident, and I was in a mess! I was desperate, and many times I even thought about suicide, and I thought about leaving this world!

Because, I saw my mother cheat, in our rustic parlance, my mother stole the man. I can't relate motherhood to beautiful words like "great" and "loving", and I don't think she deserves it. Whenever the questions on the composition class or the language exam paper are about my mother, I will become manic, short of breath, and naturally unable to write a good answer sheet.

I found out 16 years ago that my mother had cheated on me, but I was young and didn't understand what was going on between men and women.

At that time, I was only 5 years old, and I remember the scene very clearly.

My hometown is in the remote countryside, relatively isolated, and my hometown has no opportunity to earn money except for farming and farming. My father was a very loyal and taciturn country man, and as a child I had the impression of him as a child that he often squatted on the stone drum in front of the gate and smoked. In order to make a living, my father went to work with some of his companions in the village when he was a little more idle, selling coolies anyway, either doing small jobs at construction sites or mining stones in mines, and at that time the family was often only my mother and me.

I remember that it was early winter, the weather was already very cold, my mother and I were watching TV in the room, suddenly someone knocked on the door, my mother opened the door, it was Xu Liangsheng in Zhuangzi who came. Xu Liangsheng contracted the big reservoir to raise pigs and fish, shrewd and capable, and was a celebrity in the village. My mother asked me to stay in the room and watch TV, and I and Xu Liangsheng went to the stove room to roast the fire. The door was not closed, and my mother was talking to Xu Liangsheng, but the voice was particularly small, and I couldn't hear it clearly, and from time to time I heard their soft laughter.

After watching TV for almost half an hour, my mother had not yet come, I couldn't help but approach the stove room, through the crack in the door, I saw my mother sitting on Xu Liangsheng's lap, as if her hands were wrapped around his head. I was too young to understand these things, so I called my mother at the door. My mom immediately stood up like a spring, her expression very flustered. Xu Liangsheng laughed inexplicably.

My mom took a few slices of dried sweet potatoes from the cupboard for me to eat, then carried me back to her room and coaxed me to sleep. But when I opened my eyes in the middle of the night, I didn't see my mother sleeping next to me. That day until dawn, I didn't see my mother come back.

When I was a child, I was very attached to my mother and loved sleeping in her arms. But that morning, I suddenly felt that my nose was very sore, and although I didn't understand what my mother was doing, my intuition was that I was not doing a good thing. From then on, I didn't like my mom sleeping with me in her arms anymore, feeling someone else's breath in her arms.

I didn't tell anyone about this, I carried it in my heart, like holding a kitten, at any time by its claws a few times, a little painful.

At the end of the year, my father came back, I don't know what the reason, he stopped working outside the house the next year, and found a job to do in the town cement factory not far from home, although it was very dirty and tired, but he could go home every day. A year later, my mother gave birth to my brother, and my father worked harder, often helping others to work shifts, sometimes working 24 hours a day, with blood in his eyes.

Xu Liangsheng still often comes to my house, sometimes drinking and chatting with my father, my mother is also laughing next to me, and at the end of the year, Xu Liangsheng will send a few fish to my house.

I was 13 years old when I was in junior high school, and by then I was already developing and had secondary sexual characteristics, so I had a hazy understanding of things between men and women. It was in that year that I discovered for the second time that there must be something ugly between my mother and Xu Liangsheng.

Because of the curiosity of the boys, I often rummaged through the boxes and cabinets at home, and there was a box under the nightstand at home with 7 condoms in it, which I remember clearly. Dad worked all night shifts in the cement factory that day, mom answered a phone call, listened to the tone of Xu Liangsheng called, mom quickly took a shower, then changed into new clothes, also drew eyebrows, and then took something on the bedside table. My mother told me that she wanted me to watch my brother well at night, she was going to go out for something, I asked what was going on, my mother said that the children did so much, and my mother went to town to play mahjong.

After my mother left, I intuitively concluded that she was not going to play mahjong, so I opened the bedside table and sure enough, there were only 4 condoms left! I knew that she must have gone on a date with Xu Liangsheng again, my tears poured out of my eyes for no reason, I was very sad, I didn't even write my homework that night, staring blankly at the white moon outside the window, feeling that my fate was very bitter.

At 12 o'clock in the evening, my mother returned and brought me apples and cakes with my brother and me. To be honest, apart from cheating, my mom was a good woman, hardworking, kind, kind, and had a great time with everyone.

After that, I began to pay attention and found that as long as my father worked a long night shift, my mother actually used to go out in the middle of the night, but my brother and I were asleep and did not notice.

When I was 15 years old, I was already in my third year of junior high school, and I found out again that my mother was doing that kind of thing with Xu Liangsheng, and it was in our house!

That day was when I came home after the exam, I found that Xu Liangsheng was also at my house, my brother was very happy to see me come back, and said to me that there was a barbecue restaurant in the village, which was very fragrant, and my mother took 50 yuan and handed it to me, laughing and saying that you took your hungry cat brother to eat barbecue. So I went out with my brother, and halfway down the road, I suddenly found that my phone was lost at home, and at that time I was obsessed with playing games, and I was very uncomfortable without a mobile phone. So I told my brother to tell him to wait, and I went home and got my phone.

It was getting dark, I trotted home, opened the door, my mother and Xu Liangsheng hugged and rolled on the couch, my mother's blouse was about to come off, seeing me, they were extremely flustered apart, my mother blushed, stuttering that her ring had fallen into the crack of the sofa, she was looking for it. It is clear that it is to cover up.

I didn't say a word, looked at them coldly, then grabbed my phone and went out again.

After high school, I rarely went home, and even on weekends I preferred to stay in the dorm room. Every winter and summer vacation, I find some work in the county town, catering waiters, handing out leaflets, and doing everything. It's not because of financial stress, it's mainly that I don't want to go home, and when I see my mother, I think about these things, and my heart feels as if I'm going to explode.

I'm a junior in college this year and graduating in a year, and I hope to work in a big city farther away from home so I can escape seeing my mother. The older I got, the more I felt like she was a disgusting woman.

I never dared to fall in love, first of all, I had an inferior mother, I did not dare to think about how she could do these despicable things as an elder; secondly, I was afraid, afraid of meeting girls who were the same as my mother, frivolous, watery, and put green hats on myself. I don't know when this knot will open.

I've been holding these things in my heart and haven't told anyone. I don't know if my dad knows it or not, but my parents still get along very well with each other, and there is never a quarrel or anything like that. Sometimes, when I see my father's white sideburns and rough hands, I want to cry and pity him.

Teacher Gongzi, I finished writing, finally relaxed, this is the first time I said it, can you tell me how to deal with these things, how to untie my own knots? Thank you.

Painful little ren

Gongzi replied:

Elementary School Students:

Thank you for your trust!

Alas, a sigh. Bitter you, brother.

There's one aspect of your mother's cheating that you're doing too well, keeping it secret and not telling anyone, including your own father.

The feelings of the elders, it is best not to participate in the younger generations, because the inside story between them is not clear to you, the marriage of the parents has many factors, or arranged marriages, or financial reasons, not necessarily based on love.

Judging from your letters, your mother has only had One man, Xu Liangsheng, except for your father for more than ten years, which cannot simply criticize her character, indicating that they have true love, but they are limited to the world, and can only secretly carry out underground affairs.

Of course, it's not that I'm in favor of extramarital affairs, which are contrary to our moral laws. You are 21 years old, you are an adult, if there is a suitable opportunity, you can talk to your mother in a vague art, remind her to put the family first, and be able to respect her father's efforts for this family. If you feel inconvenienced, you can also leave it alone, and I don't think I'm wise in this suggestion, because I haven't experienced this kind of thing.

However, in any case, even if your mother has emotional problems, she still loves you, still shields you from the wind and rain for your growth, and does not damage the great image of your mother. As a Son of Man, you must respect her and love her!

Bless you dearly!

For Xiao Ren's letter, I can only say so much, what do you have any high opinions? Please leave a message below, so that Xiao Ren can untie this knot that has plagued him for more than ten years as soon as possible, thank you.