How can a person live this life well? Something that almost most people wonder, some people think there should be a sufficient material basis.
Some people think that there should be a strong physique, and these views naturally have their own reasons, but what is overlooked is the self-restraint of people.
We all know that a life is very long and a short life, and it is necessary to fight for the day and night, but how to grasp each day and night? This requires us to have the ability to self-restraint, to resist temptation and to persevere in the face of adversity.
On this truth, a talented and virtuous person of the Song Dynasty has long been broken, and he is Fan Zhongyan, who wrote in the Yueyang Lou Record: Do not be happy with things, and do not grieve with yourself.
Throughout the life of the "all-rounder" Fan Zhongyan, he has indeed achieved this, and he has always insisted on self-outspokenness in the dark tide of political infighting.
After having a certain amount of power, he can still do it: worry about the world before the world, and enjoy the world after the world. But he also has a problem that cannot be ignored: at the age of 50, he actually married a 15-year-old prostitute.
Spirited teenager
Fan Zhongyan did do such a thing in his middle age that was contrary to his usual style, but looking back at his other stages of life, it can be said that he insisted on it in every period:
Do not rejoice in things, do not grieve with yourself.
From his youth he had his own firm convictions. Unlike other ancient humeral ministers, Fan Zhongdian had a good family background, and he was not a prince or nobleman, let alone a young genius.
Fan Zhongyan relied on his own efforts to enter the imperial court step by step through the imperial examination.
In this respect, Fan Zhongyan can be regarded as an inspirational model.
Fan Zhongyan was originally born into a family of eunuchs, and his father was also a very talented person, but unfortunately his father died when he was two years old.
In ancient times, the father was a family day, and the father's departure was a disaster for the Fan family. At that time, Fan Zhongyan was still young, and his mother had to stand up to this piece of heaven again.
Later, in order for Fan Zhongyan to grow up smoothly, she remarried to a family surnamed Zhu. The stepfather surnamed Zhu was also a literate and talented person, and he was considerate and caring for Fan Zhongyan's mother and son.
When his mother took Fan Zhongyan to remarry, Fan Zhongyan was still very young and did not know that his father was not his biological father. Coupled with the fact that his stepfather treated him like his own son, teaching him to read and read, visiting his relatives and chanting poems, Fan Zhongyan had great respect for his stepfather.
But when Fan Zhongyan grew up and learned that his biological father had died, he was surprised and saddened. People in ancient times were very traditional, and Fan Zhongyan was no exception, and he thought that he still had to recognize his ancestors and return to the ancestors.
Since then, he has been more diligent and studious, so that one day he can shine on the lintel and return to his ancestral home.
Fan Zhongyan left his family for this reason and went to the Broken Temple alone to study quietly. With his efforts, he successfully won the list and knocked on the door of the officialdom.
At this time, he returned to his hometown and wanted to recognize his ancestors and return to the ancestors, but he was rejected by the descendants of fan surname, because he was only an official with a low official title at this time, and the descendants of the Fan family believed that the ultimate purpose of his recognition of the ancestors and returned to the ancestors was to divide the family property.
And a child who grew up outside is no longer a Fan family. For this reason, Fan Zhongyun fell into a period of depression.
In the official arena, it is still just and righteous
Fan Zhongyan's uniqueness lies in his persistence, as long as he wants to do something, he will insist on it even if there are many obstacles, which is why he can still insist on himself in the stormy officialdom.
After Fan Zhongyan was misunderstood by his people, he did not lose his heart and did not give up, but he once again began to study in retreat.
He studied diligently in an environment where he did not have enough to eat and wear, and later got very good results again, which allowed him to enter Beijing as an official.
There was a big figure in the family who could enter the dynasty as an official, and the descendants of the Fan family had no reason to refuse Fan Zhongyun again, or even to persuade him that it was too late.
Fan Zhongyan finally realized his wish to recognize his ancestors and return to the sect, and he also officially opened his ideal of serving as an official. However, Fan Zhongyan was born into an ordinary place in the gray and dark place of the officialdom, and it is conceivable how difficult it is for a person with an ordinary family to make a difference.
Fan Zhongyan was relegated to the local area many times in his life and experienced many political struggles.
But Fan Zhongyan was never discouraged, and he did not turn his back on his original intention as an official in a relatively remote place. He was not an official for power, status, or money, he wanted what traditional Confucians advocated
"Establish a life for life, and open up peace for all the worlds."
So
When he was a local official, he still single-mindedly thought about the local people and did his best to benefit the people
。 This is also reflected in the article "The Record of Yueyang Lou", in which he mentioned: If you live in the temple, you are worried about the people, and if you are far away from the rivers and lakes, you are worried about the king.
There was also a time when Fan Zhongyan was reused by the emperor, and he made a great contribution to the reform of the Song Dynasty.
Moreover, Fan Zhongyan's talent was not limited to just being a civilian official, when there was friction between the Song Dynasty and the Western Xia border, Fan Zhongyan did not hesitate to ask to go to the front line to solve this worry for his homeland.
It turned out that Fan Zhongyan was also quite capable of managing such things, and under his leadership, he smoothly resolved the matter peacefully.
The family life of the all-rounder Fan Zhongyan
In his career, Fan Zhongyan is definitely an all-rounder, and he can write and be able to do martial arts, not to mention that he is also virtuous, but in family life, Fan Zhongyan is not so happy.
Fan Zhongyan had a total of three insiders, the first of whom was his wife Li Shi. The two have known each other since childhood, and their family lineages are similar, the two grew up hand in hand, and later naturally entered the marriage.
Unfortunately, Li Shi died very early, leaving Fan Zhongyun alone.
Fan Zhongyan spent most of his time dealing with official affairs, while in the past, officials would have their own courtyard to take care of, and there was a wife at home who could manage things.
Fan Zhongyan then chose the servant of the family, Zhang Shi, as the second insider to handle the family chores for him, and the two later had two sons. It's just that Zhang Shi also suffered from a serious illness in middle age and was bedridden all day.
At this time, Fan Zhongyan accidentally met a young prostitute who was only 12 years old, and Fan Zhongyan liked her singing, which can be described as falling in love at first sight.
But he still had a lover in the family who was seriously ill in bed, so Fan Zhongyan did not take a prostitute as a concubine.
Instead, he waited until his wife died before going to find the prostitute,
Marry her. At this time, the young prostitute was 15 years old, and after the two lived together for 15 years, Fan Zhong drowned.
epilogue
If you look at it from today's perspective, a middle-aged and elderly man looking for an underage girl is definitely not enough. But from the perspective of the ancient people's cognition,
When Fan Zhongyan married a prostitute, he still waited until after his wife's death, which was already considered to be affectionate with his wife at that time, so instead of being accused, he achieved a good story.
However, judging from Fan Zhongyun's performance in his career, he is a person who can control his selfish desires, and if he can do the same in family life, wouldn't it be more perfect.