Text: Illness (Reading History Columnist)
At the beginning of emperor Wu of Han's reign, he followed the example of Emperor Wen of Han in recruiting the world's wise and virtuous fangzheng and daring to give direct advice to form his own team. It was at this time that Dongfang Shuo stood out along with Zhuang Zhu, Dong Zhongshu, Zhu Maichen, Zhongjun and others.
However, in this world, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, no one can guarantee that they will definitely be appreciated by Emperor Wu of Han. In order to make Emperor Wu of Han have some impression of himself, Dongfang Shuo tried to "add materials" to himself.
However, no one would have thought that the difference in Dongfang Shuo's initial thoughts would cause Emperor Wu of Han to have a certain deviation in his judgment of his ability, and classify him as a "haiyou" file.
To put it bluntly, it is a joke to relieve boredom.
01
When Dongfang Shuo introduced himself in the book, he wrote the content of three thousand pieces of bamboo jane, and it took two talents to be able to lift it. And what he wrote in it is also very interesting: Chen Shuo lost his parents less, and he raised his brother and sister-in-law. Thirteen years of study, three winters of literature and history are fully used. Fifteen learn fencing. Sixteen poems and books were studied, and 220,000 words were recited. Nineteen learners of Sun and Wu's art of war, the tools of the battle front, the teachings of the drums, and the recitation of 220,000 words. Fanchen Shuogu had recited 440,000 words. He also often obeys the words of zilu. Chen Shuo was twenty-two years old, nine feet three inches long, his eyes were like hanging beads, his teeth were like weaving shells, his courage was like Meng Ben, Jie Ruo Qingji, Lian Ruo Bao's uncle, and Xin Ruo's tail was born. If so, it can be the Minister of Heaven. When chen Shuo died, he would say goodbye to him.
In short, I am good-looking, I am very high, I am good, I am strong, I am very powerful, you do not need me to be your biggest loss and so on.
It is estimated that Emperor Wu of Han also regarded his cover letter as the best pleasure for him to relieve his boredom in his spare time after being busy, holding some snacks every time, reclining, and reading a little Article of Dongfang Shuo. After you are happy, make a mark where you have finished reading, and then watch it next time you are tired. I watched it for two months before I finished it.
Then Emperor Wu of Han asked Dongfang Shuo to wait for the bus, and then forgot about him.
Emperor Wu of Han forgot about him, but Dongfang Shuo himself was in a hurry.
Seeing that the people who had been waiting for the bus like himself had entered the DPRK as officials and began to show their talents and learning, could he not be in a hurry? When the bus is waiting for the zhao bus, the salary is meager, and it is not okay to be full of talent and learning.
He wrote a self-recommendation letter, and participated in Emperor Wu of Han's juggling fangzheng not to eat the white rice of Chang'an City. Instead, I want to do something above the court.
So he thought of a "crooked trick" again.
He frightened the dwarfs who guarded the imperial horse pen, saying that the emperor thought you were useless and was ready to kill you, and as long as the emperor passed by here, you would be fine on your knees and prostrate.
Then, when Emperor Wudi of Han passed by, these dwarfs really knelt in front of Emperor Wudi of Han and wept bitterly. Emperor Wudi of Han looked puzzled and asked, "What's wrong with you?" ”
The dwarfs were also honest, and they honestly replied that when Dongfang Shuo said you were going to kill us.
Emperor Wudi of Han only then remembered that there was also Dongfang Shuo, and he couldn't help but think of his self-recommendation letter, knowing that he spent a lot of flowers and intestines.
After finding Dongfang Shuo, Dongfang Shuo said, "Those dwarfs are three feet tall, a bag of millet, two hundred and forty dollars, and my Oriental Shuo is nine feet long but exactly the same as them." They were full to death, but I was starving to death. If what I say makes sense, you use me; if it doesn't make sense, you let me go home, and I don't eat Chang'an rice in vain. ”
After hearing this, Emperor Wudi of Han laughed and remembered the days when he was happy reading The Oriental Shuo articles, so he left him around and used him as a joke machine to make himself happy.
Dongfang Shuo mistakenly thought that Emperor Wudi of Han recognized his talent, so he always wanted to say some state policies to Emperor Wudi of Han, but his first impression of Emperor Wudi of Han was already cynical and ridiculous, so he could only follow this path and go on a hard path. He often played some guessing puzzles and other games with Emperor Wu of Han.
02
One day, Emperor Wu of Han felt that his Shanglin Garden was too small, and wanted to expand a larger one, which was connected to Zhongnan Mountain. King Wuqiu Shou investigated the matter clearly, and when he returned to report to Emperor Wu of Han, Dongfang Shuo took the opportunity to speak to Emperor Wu of Han, saying how important this land was and how many people could be fed.
But Emperor Wudi of Han didn't even listen to him. You are a "haiyou", do your own job to make me happy, blindly give me some ideas, do not listen! Then, according to the music played by King Wuqiu Shou, the Shanglin Garden was expanded.
On the contrary, it was because Dongfang Shuo had offered the Tai Jie Six Rune Sutra, which could observe the celestial signs, on this day, and rewarded Dongfang Shuo with one hundred and two golds, and named him Taizhong Doctor and Shi Zhong.
However, Sima Xiangru, on the grounds that "the son of a thousand gold, does not sit in the hall", successfully advised Emperor Wu of Han to like to hunt wild beasts himself.
Can you say that Dongfang Shuo can not be angry?
Even if there are thousands of gullies in your chest, what is the use of no one appreciating them? No matter how good your advice is, no one else thinks you are that piece of material.
Because your first impression gives you a sense of cynicism, others will subconsciously think that what you say is a joke.
Therefore, Dongfang Shuo would desperately stop Dong Yan, the favorite of Lord Dou, in front of the palace, and state Dong Yan's three capital crimes, in order to show Emperor Wu of Han that he also had a serious side.
But it has always had little effect.
He also wrote to Emperor Wu of Han about the plan of a strong country in agricultural warfare and took the opportunity to recommend himself to Emperor Wu of Han, but he was never appointed. Dongfang Shuo could only write an article called "Difficult to Answer". There are words such as "respect is a general, and a lowly person is a prisoner; resistance is above the clouds, or it is under the abyss; it is used as a tiger, and if it is not used, it is a mouse", in order to express the sadness and helplessness of not meeting one's talents and being depressed.
Dongfang Shuo took the wrong path from the beginning, perhaps his humor is deep in his bones, but this also led to his life of passivity, and there is nowhere to express the tragic life in his chest.
Although Dongfang Shuo was often witty and cunning in front of Emperor Wu of Han, he was not a "clever and flattering" person, and throughout his life, everything he expressed in witty language in front of Emperor Wu of Han did not deviate from his own bottom line.
When it was time to die, Dongfang Shuo restored his original appearance and solemnly advised Emperor Wu of Han: "In the Book of Poetry, it is said, 'Camp the flies, and stop at the flies.' Gentlemen, no believers in rumors. Slander to the extreme, chaos to the four countries', I hope That His Majesty will stay away from those who are clever and flattering, and rebuff their rumors. ”
Emperor Wu of Han also said with a surprised face: "Dongfang Shuo is so serious in speaking." ”
I don't know if Dongfang Shuo should cry or laugh when he hears this sentence.
Oh yes, in the end, the Oriental Shuo became a fairy, and they are still considered to be a harmonious immortal. In the Journey to the West, it is written:
Dressed in a Taoist costume, the waist is scattered with silk.
Wearing a scarf and a cloth star, he walked on Xianyue.
Refining the yuanzhen, shedding the shell, and enjoying it when the merit is accomplished.
Recognizing the original spirit, the master recognized no mistake.
The escape name is now boundless, and Jia Zi Zhou Tian can't manage it.
Turn the cloister, ascend the treasure pavilion, and touch the peach in the sky three times.
Ethereal incense clouds out of the green screen, xiaoxian is the Oriental Shuo.