How to express feelings in the 3-minute godson dry goods | parent-child communication?

The premise of good communication is to deal with each other's emotions first, and then to deal with things, in the communication with children, if you ignore the emotions and feelings, you can only make yourself and your children more and more angry and depressed, not only is not conducive to the solution of the problem, but also aggravates the parent-child conflict.

Today, I would like to share three small strategies for expressing feelings in communication.

The first strategy is to be subjective, using more of my words.

Think about it, when the child makes some mistakes, or it's not what we want it to be. We are not easy to blame him at the first time, how are you, you do not do this well, that does not do well.

But now we're reversed, how do we say, we're going to say I don't think you're doing that. Compare the two sentences. Use more of my words, is it more comfortable to feel that the child sounds.

The second is the use of object language, which we should point more to things than to people.

Today this matter may be the child did not do right, and there was a fight with the classmates, we will discuss the matter you and the same student quarreled about the reason for this matter, what happened.

Instead of saying how often you fight with your classmates, your personal relationship is not good, you can't get along well with others.

If you are biased towards the back, you are directly pointing at the attack of the person.

The third is that we express our own feelings, not judgments.

Feelings are our thoughts, my moods. I saw you do this, I heard you say this, I was sad, I was happy, I still felt how it was.

Tell your child clearly and objectively about your feelings.