Listening to the teacher's words is better than reading books for several years.
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Welcome to the "Listen to Zeng Shiqiang Talk about Chinese Studies and Life" class!
This is very important and I hope it helps you.
In life, sometimes we can't help but complain that someone is too "pretend"! But if you think about it, in fact, we are not exempt from the vulgarity ourselves. "Pretending" seems to be an instinct and commonality of human beings. And everyone's "outfit" is different.
For example: some people have no money to "pretend" to have money, no right to "pretend" to be powerful, petty people have to "pretend" to be generous, not enough to "pretend" to be able, no one to chase "pretend" to be fascinated, no culture to "pretend" to cultural people, etc., these "loading" phenomena are around us, happening at every moment.
Some people pretend to be funny and childish, we can see through it at a glance, and some people pretend to be exaggerated and devoted, and even they can't tell the truth from the fake. Obviously, these are not really "pretending", just a phenomenon of self-recognition.
Zeng Shiqiang, a master of Chinese management, pointed out in a lecture: "Some self-righteous decorative behaviors in society will harm others and harm themselves sooner or later. ”
So, the question is, what should the person who can really "pretend" look like? Professor Zeng Shiqiang told us to find the answer from the "I Ching" in the "I Ching".
01
"Load" the façade with spiritual connotations
It is one of the sixty-four gua of the I Ching. energetic. prosperous. Small profits are at stake. "贲" means well decorated.
"Yan" said: Constantly decorating, improving, and revising, it is very prosperous. The reason is that only by constantly decorating, improving, and revising can things continue to be perfected and improved.
In the real world, in the three hundred and sixty lines of workers, peasants, merchants, and soldiers, no matter which line of work people are engaged in, or in what kind of communication situation, they must pay attention to embellishment, such as the appearance of any identity and status such as the upper and lower levels, the senior and the inferior, the rich and the poor.
Change is inseparable. Each outer packaging is a rhetorical decoration. People's dress, matching jewelry, rhetoric, adjusting the speed of speech, correcting steps, posture and exercising eyes are all means and methods to make their "façade" more pleasing to the eye and more suitable for their social roles and personality positioning.
Many times, people do not grasp this scale and direction well, and often deviate. For example, a person for the sake of beauty, excessive plastic surgery, and finally get out of balance, the expression is tense to not be able to laugh; some Internet celebrities wear professional clothes to take some indecent photos or videos in some public places in order to win heat;
In order to hide the lack of inner culture, some people specially arranged their homes with a very cultural atmosphere, and their own clothing was also traditional, but unfortunately, a mouth speech exposed the characteristics of upstarts.
Truly cultivated people do not particularly hang these external rhetoric on their faces and hold them in their hands. But as long as they sit down to speak, they exude a calm and quiet bookish atmosphere, and when they raise their hands, they are also humble and courteous, and a look also makes people feel the precipitation of wisdom.
These can be seen as a kind of "dressing" for well-cultivated people, because they are well-dressed, so how people look at them is pleasing to the eye.
So, where does good cultivation come from? It comes from the books we've read, from every story of people we've known, from experiences, and from the good and evil we've done.
These are deposited in our hearts, reflected on our faces, and decorate our personalities more than any expensive cosmetics, jewelry, or car property. Therefore, the "pretense" embodied by a well-cultivated person is the result of connotation and moral role.
Professor Zeng Shiqiang said: "What does not change is the connotation, what changes is the pattern, this is called 'transformation'". No matter how good our external decoration is, it is only a trick of change, and what remains unchanged is our inner cultivation and the humanistic spirit of ritual education.
People who are well cultivated do a good job in this regard, so they "pretend" naturally and casually, while those who are not cultivated enough have to "pretend" to be false, but they are just gold and jade.
Therefore, in order to achieve high-end and effective "loading", it is still necessary to make more efforts in enriching the spiritual connotation and improving personal cultivation.
02
"Loading" is appropriate
The I Ching says: "Civilization ends, and humanity also ends." "Human culture must abide by the laws of nature, and its development must be limited by the laws of nature and cannot be deviated from."
Zeng Shiqiang explained: "If we want to decorate, we must be suitable for what it is, when it is appropriate, when it is appropriate, and the most important thing is to be appropriate. That is to say, the decoration should conform to the reasonable category of the law, just right, not excessive.
This "point" is very important. The so-called "points" are explained in the I Ching: "There are benefits, there is no benefit, there is little profit, and there is a big benefit." That is to say, as the situation changes, corresponding and appropriate changes occur.
For example, when you are poor, there are poor clothing and travel equipment; when you are rich, there are rich clothing and clothing, travel equipment. From rich to poor, you can also adjust your clothing to a state of poverty. Only in this way is it appropriate to conform to the laws of nature. Otherwise, it is bound to be suspected and jealous.
A person attaches great importance to the external image, although the income is not high, but every month to spend all the income on the purchase of clothing and high-end cosmetics, will give others a very rich feeling.
At that time, the parents of the family want to build a new house and ask her for money, she can't get it, she is complained by her parents; relatives have something to borrow from her, she can't take it out, and she is also resentful; classmates get married and hate the red envelopes she gives. This is "pretending" not to do it properly.
Clothing is also sometimes a status symbol. If someone as a teacher, doctor, or lawyer dresses sexy and edgy and speaks vulgarly on the job, it makes one wonder about the professionalism of the person.
Because of this, every position in society requires that the dress should be in line with its own professional positioning, and there must be a corresponding professional quality, so that it is easy to be understood and accepted by the public in order to carry out work.
Dong Zhongshu, a thinker and educator of the Western Han Dynasty, once said: "Those who dress and look good, so they say that the eyes are also the ones who respond to the voice, so they say the ears, the likes and dislikes go to the people, so they say the heart."
Therefore, if a gentleman is in his clothes and looks good, he will look at it; if he speaks with reason, he will speak with his ears; if he is kind and kind and evil and shallow, if he is good and despised, he is happy. Therefore, it is said that the practice of cola is considerable. This is also true. ”
In short, people should make the other party feel pleasing to the eye in terms of dress; let the other party feel happy in verbal communication; and make the other party feel comfortable and natural in terms of treating people and things.
Appropriate "loading" requires us to do a good job of self-awareness, clear where our personal ability and social positioning are, and do not do excessive "loading" that crosses the line, otherwise we will be tired, and we will also bring confusion and misunderstanding to others and create trouble for ourselves.
03
The essence of "loading" is true
The I Ching: Shangjiu, Bai Ben, No Blame.
Elephant: Bai Ben is blameless, and Shangde Zhiye is also.
"Shangjiu" is already the pole of the Ben gua, and all the decorations have returned from the extreme to the original appearance of a blank nature.
The elephant legend explains: The beginning is quality, and it is necessary to decorate the text, and when the literary decoration reaches the peak, it will eventually return to the essence and return to the state of quality. At this time, it is to reach a certain position, so understand everything, give up the vain decoration, and thus feel at ease.
It is not difficult to understand that in life, the more successful people are, the more low-key they are, they will not always hang on to their own careers, and they may not be brand-limited models in dress, but they are very modest and generous in speech, and there is no shelf.
Like Ma Yun, when he was in Alibaba before, before each meeting, he greeted the middle-level employees one by one, and also took the initiative to hold hands with each other, the posture was very humble and courteous, so that the employees could truly feel the respect and trust of the superiors.
Ma Yun also specifically mentioned this matter in an interview, he said: "These people are the mainstay of our Ali, very important people, as an Ali person, I should respect them." ”
This shows that Ma Yun is not trapped by his position, he knows what the essence of things is, and it is most appropriate to know what kind of things he wants to do.
In order to conform to the identity or to reflect the moral cultivation of human liturgy, the most fundamental quality of external decoration cannot be forgotten.
For example, a lawyer perms a suit every day, does a good job of skin care, gets a good hairstyle, prepares all the materials, polishes the shoes, and everything looks professional and decent. But if he tries his best in court for the sake of selfish interests for the evil party and takes advantage of the opportunity to exonerate himself, he is free from the fundamental "quality" of upholding justice and upholding the law, and only the "decoration" of the appearance is left.
No matter how solemn the clothes, professional terminology, high-end temperament, the most fundamental "truth" lies in doing the original thing, maintaining the original appearance, not deviating from the track, and not doing anything wrong.
The above is the knowledge of "loading" presented to us by the I Ching. "Loading" seems to be a superficial effort, but it is actually a subject of our inner cultivation.
This requires us to pay attention to external modifications at the same time, we must not ignore the improvement of maintaining the inner self, because the more cultivated people are, the more "pretended" well. You, get it?
Author: Mr. Senmei
Family affairs, state affairs, world affairs, a little knowledge of one or two; worry about the glass heart, explain three or four.
People have a thousand faces, things have everything, the world under the tip of the iceberg is the real world of undercurrents, and life needs to see through the eyes of illusions.
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